Without a Paddle Page #5

a parking space anymore.

I just don't wanna lose all my stuff.

I lost my legs...

Oh, great. We got us

a couple of weed freaks.

The hell are they looking at?

Get up, you stoner dogs!

Get up. You gotta move

your legs. Move your legs.

I think I see them.

They got laser scopes.

They had you pinned.

Dudes.

Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously.

I will give you four cows

for Denise's hand in marriage.

I'll give them something

to laugh about.

Matrix.

My back.

Cut them off at the river.

Jerry, Jerry.

Billy. Jesus, Billy.

- I miss you.

- You gonna find D.B.'s treasure?

I'm just trying to make it out

of here alive.

Don't give up. Keep looking.

Hey, is it cool to be a grown-up?

Not really, my man.

Stop. Stop. You're gonna run into...

We can't outrun them.

We gotta hide.

- Quick, hide.

- How? How?

Let's get them!

Man, our whole crop is burning!

Those a**holes are dead!

And the bodies that are attached

to them are dead too!

Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead!

- A**holes! A-S-S-H-O...

- Stop spelling!

- Come on, you're dead!

- We're gonna get you!

- You can only run so far!

- And you can never hide!

- Bullfrogs.

- I hate bullfrogs. They're nasty.

Don't waste the ammo.

Come on, they must've headed up

towards the river.

- It crawled straight in my stomach.

- Let's go.

I think it laid eggs in my stomach.

You think they're still following us?

I don't wanna stop and find out.

Just keep going.

It's not all burnt.

I think we're gonna be okay.

- You think?

- Yeah.

- You think?

- Yeah.

Damn it. It's all burnt. I knew it,

Dennis. It's all burnt. Every bit.

- They burned it.

- Oh, yeah. It's all burnt.

The whole damn field is burnt.

But we got a bigger problem, Elwood!

We got three bona fide yuppies

out there,

lost somewhere,

and we gotta track them.

We gotta catch them

and we gotta kill them.

I think we can slow down. I haven't

heard dogs or guns for hours.

Yeah? You slow down, get a stick

of dynamite up your ass.

Calm down, Daniel,

we're gonna be all right.

No, we're not, Jerry.

We could really die out here.

Man, I can't believe

that I would listen to you guys.

"Let's go take Billy's trip.

Let's... Let's find D.B.'s treasure.

I'll get a canoe. I'll get some rope. "

- Is he all right?

- "It'll be great. "

- "We'll find D.B.'s treasure!" Right.

- Is he having a panic attack?

- I don't know.

- That's great.

Make jokes. That's a really good idea.

Is this living in the moment

enough for you, Jerry?

Is this the carefree life with no

responsibility that you wanted?

Is this the...? Is this the great wilderness

adventure that you were dreaming of?

How should I be, Dr. Dan? Tell me.

- Be afraid.

- I am afraid.

Well, then, act like it! It is very

confusing to people in your life

when you don't act the way

that you're feeling!

No wonder Denise

is fed up with you.

- What did you say?

- Don't you step to me.

- Put your hands down.

- You take it easy.

Mr. Joe-Tattoo, Mr. Motorcycle-Man,

Mr. Super-Cool, Mr. Bullet-Wound...

- Oh, my... Tom, you got shot.

- Oh, cool.

- He got shot?

- Yeah. Come here.

- Are you all right?

- You could lose a roll of pennies

in that thing. Look at how deep it is.

It just grazed you. You're really lucky.

Oh, wow, that's gonna be

a great scar.

I'm gonna stitch it up good.

Lose the cleaver.

Meat cleaver's my favorite.

It's scary, but ultimately ineffective.

Lose it.

Now, Dennis, you don't understand...

Them three boys get back to town,

you're gonna spend the next 40 years

in the can getting manhandled.

Quit messing around.

Lose the cleaver.

I love the cleaver.

You'll be good as new. Sorry.

Hey, Dano.

I'm sorry I got you into this.

- I really am.

- Jerry, I wanted to come.

Well, we're getting out of it. I promise.

And when we do,

someone's buying

the first round. Not it.

- Not it.

- Tom, I think you're buying

with all that... All that Harley money.

Oh, God, it's making me sick.

I'm sorry, I...

That whole thing

was an exaggeration.

- What, you don't make that much?

- No, I don't sell Harleys.

In fact, the only thing I've sold lately

is some clothes and CDs.

They weren't even mine.

Tom, that's not an exaggeration,

that's a lie.

- You know, you lie a lot.

- I know.

What happened?

Well, first it was blackjack.

Then the cards went south.

So then I started betting

football and baseball.

I lost everything.

What'd I expect?

I got no luck, Jerry.

It's like my old man used to say,

"Family curse.

If we didn't have bad luck,

we wouldn't have luck at all. "

You have got to stop

blaming your old man.

I'm not blaming anyone.

Yeah, you are. Listen to yourself.

"The family curse. "

Yeah, it's real. I'm a great gambler.

I will give you one thing:

Your dad was a piece of work.

I mean, he had his own things

going on.

But if he did one thing right,

it was not raising a complete idiot.

You're not him, Tommy.

You're a lot smarter, for one thing.

Right, Dano?

Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter.

Tom, you have a lot more

going for you than you think you do.

That's easy for you to say, Dano.

You're a freaking doctor.

I mean, you got a big old

bank account, a ginormous house,

- big, thick red hair...

- You know what?

I wouldn't be so jealous of me

if I were you.

Every day I develop some

new and exciting phobia.

You're exaggerating again.

I'm afraid of the dark, Jerry.

So? There's a lot of people

that are afraid of the dark.

- I know a shitload.

- I'm afraid of small spaces.

Again, not that abnormal.

- Cellophane.

- Like Saran Wrap?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, you're alone on that one.

See, I won't even keep it

in the house anymore,

because I'm afraid somehow it'll get,

like, draped over my head

and stick to my mouth and nose

and I'll... I'll suffocate.

- How pathetic is that?

- Very.

Relax, you're almost through.

There you go. Hey, would one

of you guys grab my? Phone. My...

That's a phone.

- It's that way.

- Phone!

How did your phone

get all the way up here?

- Who cares?

- That last thing I remember, it was...

- Go, go, go!

- That bear loves you, Dano!

Whiskey Dick, this is Lightning

Company. Come in, Whiskey Dick.

We are on the move and loaded

for bear. Come back, come back...

- Why'd you stop?

- Right there.

Footprints.

Oh, it's theirs.

It's weird.

Footprints with no people in them.

I mean...

..it's like it's them,

but it's not them,

you know what I mean?

Rarely.

Get on your wheeler.

Hold on a second, guys.

You know what we should do?

We're gonna climb the tree.

We'll climb the tree, get a good look

at the land, maybe we'll see a road

or a way out of here.

Yeah, I'll go. Give me a boost.

Oh, hey, Tom, wait.

You can use these.

Thanks.

Please, just be careful.

Are you maintaining

a safe distance back there?

Yeah, two-second rule, I know.

- Do you see anything?

- Hey, guys!

This is really cool!

What is he doing up there?

Tommy, you see a road?

Any signs of life?

Are you kidding me?

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