Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie Page #6

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- I mean annoyingly.

There's a right way to do things

and that's the way I like to do them.

Another 20 feet in this direction.

You might want to try it sometime.

Why are you getting taller?

Because you couldn't stop

being perfect long enough

to realize that

you're standing in quicksand.

Alex! Help me! Please! Help me!

Get me out of here! Help me, please!

Grab onto my hand. Grab my hand.

- Okay.

- Help me. Not funny!

Now maybe

we can get someplace, huh?

Okay. So we're here,

and we need to get there.

You're holding it upside down!

Grab onto something!

Well, that makes it better.

- Not really.

- I'm sinking!

It needs one of those little "X" thingies,

like at the mall, you know?

- Alex, grab onto something! I'm sinking!

- Wait, here we are.

"Bottomless Pit of Death." And we need

to go towards some squiggly things.

They're called mountains! Alex.

- Seriously.

- Okay. Sure. Mountains.

- There are small animals in here!

- Wait. There they are!

- That was easy.

- Okay. Help me out now.

- Grab something.

- (SIGHS) Fine.

A branch. Part of a tree. Help me, Alex.

Come on. Help me.

You've got it. Please.

Will you let me

be in control of the map?

No. Why would I put you in charge?

Just give me the stick!

You know, I hear the more you struggle

the faster you sink.

It's amazing what I retain, huh?

All right, fine, fine. Whatever you want.

- Just give me the stick.

- Promise?

Yes. No. Yes, yes, I promise.

Okay. Come on.

Pull! Okay, pull.

Thank goodness. There you are.

Thought I'd lost you.

- Did I miss anything?

- Not a thing.

All right, people! Let's move. This way.

- The other way.

- The other this way.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

- What does that mean? Coconut?

- No.

(LAUGHING)

One guava smoothie, please.

We don't make guava smoothies.

Sorry.

- Well then, what am I drinking?

- Papaya.

Papaya. I love the way you say that.

All these years.

Get your fruits straight, man.

- What?

- What? Nothing. Thank you.

You're welcome.

(THANKS IN SPANISH)

Hey, why don't you take this

over to that girl for me?

You know, she was kind of

asking about you earlier.

Who is that? Is that your mom?

What? What? No! No.

Unless you think she is

and memories are flooding back.

You know, you're a weird little kid,

you know that?

Yeah, I get that a lot. So...

No. I'm good.

No worries. No worries.

I'm just saying you could do a lot better.

Between you and me?

She's kind of a dog.

- Come on, buddy.

- What?

- She's...

- Have you looked at her?

Yes, I have and she's hot. She's...

That's not funny.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay, it's a little funny.

You stole that from me.

All right. Joke's over.

Turn her back before somebody sees.

All right. I will,

as soon as you take this over there.

Fine, but I don't know why

you want me to...

What is the matter with you?

I'm so sorry.

I actually was bringing that drink to you.

Why? So you could throw it on me?

What did I ever do to you?

Wait. This is supposed to be

the other way around.

I'm seriously...

I'm so sorry.

I don't know why I just did that.

You don't know why you did.

You just pick it up and then you...

No.

You know what?

It's okay. Let's just call it even.

No. I wasn't trying to

make things even. I...

No. I meant seriously.

I mean it. It's fine.

- Okay.

- It's okay.

All right.

Sorry.

What are you doing? That's it?

What's the matter with you?

You like her, right?

Then why don't you go after her?

Cute and feisty?

Those are the most dangerous.

I could really fall for her,

you know, if she was a wizard.

- What does that matter?

- I told you. I'm a full wizard.

I'm not going to give up my powers

for some mortal.

You don't understand. You...

This is sticky now. This is sticky.

You...

Why do I feel like there was

something I was supposed to do?

(PANTING)

ALEX:
Eew!

You okay?

If Mom was still Mom,

this would've never happened.

She would've told me

to put on bug spray.

So?

You wouldn't have listened to her.

True, but at least she'd be

telling me, "I told you so."

I miss her condescending tone

and her superior attitude.

JUSTIN:
Remind you of anybody?

Yes. Mom.

Aren't you listening to me?

But I'm sure if we just asked them not

to say anything...

(SQUAWKING)

Yeah, yeah, but I know.

I know you were sentenced

to 50 years in feathers.

But maybe they couldn't find us

if we moved to

some remote jungle somewhere.

Just you and me.

But if we take the stone first,

they'll disappear forever.

Which is why it's the perfect plan.

It really is the perfect plan.

You're kind of good at this, aren't you?

(CHATTERS)

All right.

I hate it when we fight, too.

How are we going to get

across this thing?

There's no way. It's impossible.

We're totally, completely,

hopelessly doomed.

Wait, there's instructions.

It's that positive attitude that

I most admire about you, Justin.

It says we have to build a path of stone.

- That's not going to happen.

- With magic.

That might happen.

I may not be a full wizard.

I might not have a family wand.

And you were no help whatsoever.

But you got to admit, this...

This is pretty impressive.

All it takes is a superior knowledge

of hand magic

and two semesters of

Advanced Placement Geometry.

What? No, "Loser"?

No eye-rolling? "Get a life."

What was that?

"Thank you, Justin. You saved us.

You're my hero."

Well, you're welcome.

- Good job.

- Righty-ho.

What?

What's a pebble going to do to my...

(COUGHS)

And may I be the first? Loser.

Okay. You know, maybe

we're just going to hang back here

for a few moments

and stay out of your way.

No reason for all of us

to plummet to our deaths, right?

(SQUAWKS)

Admit it. It's not a bad idea.

It's just a simple levitation spell.

JUSTIN:
Yes, yes.

You're brilliant. Focus.

Don't look down!

That's a long way down.

Why do you always get so mad

every time I do something right?

Because it's like you don't even try.

You don't even think about it.

Not thinking works for me.

Exactly. And it's not fair.

I know everything there is

to know about magic,

and you just come along and you do it.

Which is why I have to study

all the time.

Usually I'm all, "Family wizard.

How could it not be me?"

Then you come along

and do something like this.

Trust me, you're not going to lose.

You'll be the family wizard.

Do you even want it?

Alex!

- That was close.

- I don't know. I don't think I do.

Why? I know why I do.

I'd be nothing if I wasn't a wizard.

Magic is the one thing that

I'm really, really good at.

Please. You're good at everything.

I hope they make it.

"Justin's so perfect.

Why can't you be more like Justin?"

- Who says that?

- Besides you? Everyone.

Mom and Dad.

Well, they wouldn't say that

if I wasn't so perfect.

You know that's not true.

They love you regardless.

You know that goes both ways.

They're almost there.

Good job.

- We both did a good job.

- Yeah.

Hello! Hello!

Don't forget your loyal

and trusty guides.

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