Wodehouse in Exile Page #4

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really.

Although comedy is important,

isn't it?

It reminds us all

of our common humanity.

Er...

Gosh!

Am I being pretentious?

Absolutely not!

I just think writing is

so important.

People telling

the truth about things.

Encouraging others to think

life is worthwhile.

Or a waste of time,

in the case of certain authors.

So you're going to broadcast

your talks... on the radio?

Do you think that would a good idea?

We have to tell them

we're not down and out, don't we?

The old school still has some fight

left in her.

I'm all for that.

Stiff upper you-know-what.

I think, you know,

tell the truth.

Great is the truth

and it shall prevail.

I think I believe that.

Good for you.

Writing is escape for me.

In the literal sense.

Of escape from prison.

Good night, Mackintosh.

At least we have got you

a presentable jacket!

What's Mackintosh doing here?

I think we thought it would be nice

for you to have

a fellow Englishman around.

Ah.

Good for morale, sort of thing?

Indeed.

You should put him on as well.

Don't let me hog the limelight.

He may have family

he wants to reassure.

This is

the German Short Wave Station.

Here in our studio in Berlin

tonight is Mr PG Wodehouse,

the well known father of the

inimitable Jeeves,

of Bertie Wooster,

Lord Emsworth, Mr Mulliner and

other delightful persons.

Mr Wodehouse has been in Germany

for almost a year

since German troops occupied

his residence in Northern France.

We felt his American readers might

be interested to hear from him

and so we have invited him

to the microphone to tell you in his

own words how it all happened.

It is just possible that my

listeners may detect in this

little talk of mine,

a slight goofiness,

a certain disposition to ramble

in my remarks.

If so, the matter,

as Bertie Wooster would say,

is susceptible of a ready

explanation.

I have just emerged into the outer

world after 49 weeks

of Civil Internment

in a German internment camp

and the effects have not

entirely worn off.

I feel slightly screwy

and inclined to pause at intervals

in order to cut out paper dolls

and stick straws in my hair,

or such of my hair as I still have.

But it has been in many ways

quite an agreeable experience.

There is a good deal to be

said for internment.

It keeps you out of the saloons

and gives you time to catch up

on your reading.

You also get a lot of sleep.

This is the transcript

of the Wodehouse broadcast.

Caversham picked it up on shortwave.

It seems fairly harmless stuff.

You think so?

"All that happened,

as far as I was concerned, was that

"I was strolling on the lawn with my

wife one morning, when she lowered

"her voice and said, "Don't look now,

but here comes the German army!"

"And there they were,

a fine body of men rather prettily

"dressed in green,

carrying machine guns."

I thought it was rather amusing.

Did you indeed?

It was only on short wave

to America.

Only to America? Only to America?

Have you any idea what is

going on in the world?

That is the whole point

of the bloody German exercise.

To try and reassure the Americans

and keep them neutral.

I have spent a six-month tour

of the USA trying to get

the Yanks INTO the war because we

all know that if we do not do so,

we may well LOSE this bloody war.

We are losing shipping

in the North Atlantic.

We are weeks away from losing!

We have to get the Americans

in on our side!

Do I have to spell it out to you?

What do you imagine Winston has been

doing for the last six months?

The Americans are crucial.

And this IDIOT is not helping.

We are fighting for our lives here.

And he makes JOKES!

Ah, Mr Wodehouse.

I hear you have been broadcasting to

America over the Nazi radio.

Have you made your peace

with Germany, Mr Wodehouse?

We read in the New York papers

that they treated you

well in the internment camp,

is that true?

Didn't you feel like fighting back

against the people

who were imprisoning you?

Er...

I found it difficult to be

belligerent in camp.

You find it difficult to be

belligerent about the war, right?

I didn't say that.

I said I found it difficult

to be belligerent in camp.

I was with prisoners who...

He finds it difficult to feel

belligerent about this war.

When journalists put

words in your mouth,

I do wish they would give you

better dialogue.

I must ask you to leave.

Please. Please. Thank you.

'And now here is William Connor,

Cassandra of the Daily Mirror,

'with his Postscript.

'I have come to tell you tonight

of the story of a rich man

'trying to make his last and

greatest sale -

'that of his own country.

'It is a sombre story of

honour pawned to the Nazis

'for the price of a soft bed

in a luxury hotel.

'It is the record of

PG Wodehouse, ending 40 years

'of money-making fun with the worst

joke he ever made in his life.

'The only wisecrack he ever pulled

that the world received in silence.

'When the war broke out,

'Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

was at Le Touquet - gambling.'

Plummie hardly ever gambled.

And then only for small stakes.

This makes him sound like a playboy.

'Denmark had been overrun

and Norway had been occupied.

'But Wodehouse still

went on with his fun.'

He tried his damndest to get out.

There was even talk of getting

a boat to him, do you remember?

This is lies. I thought the British

didn't do propaganda lies!

I thought that was the whole point

of our democracy?

All we need to do is

get in touch with him.

Look after him.

Then he'll be all right.

'..Charlie ever does.

'Wodehouse was throwing

a cocktail party... '

How can you SAY these things?

Cocktail party?

Plummie never threw a cocktail

party in his life.

He's the shyest, sweetest old...

It'll be all right, darling.

We will get hold of him and manage

this thing and it will be all right.

I've had a cable from my editor

at the Saturday Evening Post.

"Must warn you how badly your talks

are being received here.

"People in America resent

your callous attitude

"to fellow Englishmen."

I was being humourous.

I was trying to show our spirit

wasn't broken.

I was trying to show them we were

bloody but unbowed, sort of thing.

I don't understand it.

Have I made a fool of myself?

Of course you haven't, Plum.

All he has done is tell the truth,

hasn't he?

You have simply described

what you saw, Plum.

Telling the truth is not

a crime, is it?

Not in my book.

What's happening, Werner?

It'll all be fine, I'm sure.

You just have to explain why

you're doing them.

I'm not sure I should carry on

doing them at all.

Wouldn't that be admitting

you were wrong, Plum?

You could explain when you give

the next broadcast why you,

you know, decided to speak.

An excellent idea.

This is just a misunderstanding.

I didn't want to offend anyone.

We can get through this.

I've still got to give

two more broadcasts.

Perhaps I shouldn't give

those broadcasts.

I think you owe it

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