Wonderwoman 1984 Page #3

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Why do you keep trying

to take me for a walk?

-I'm not a dog. -Well,

you are wearing a collar.

Oh, LOL. You know what?

I'm just not in the mood

for a walk.

Why?

Well, fine. Okay.

I was just incredibly bad

at what I do

in front of people

who could've given me a job.

I thought you had a job.

Yes, but it's not

what I "do" do.

I'm not a career elf.

Oh. What do you do?

(grunts rhythmically)

Sing.

Wow. That's pretty amazing.

I just can't seem to...

at the moment.

Anyway, boring, boring, boring,

la, la, la, la.

I'm not bored.

Actually, who are you?

I'm Tom.

Kate.

Why are you so flexible?

Why are you dressed

like an elf?

You know why.

And you know what?

I have had my fill

of utterly hilarious elf jokes

for one night.

Cover me.

-Here?

-Here.

You are now my cupboard door.

-(grunting)

-(Tom sighs)

-So, you do this often?

-Only when I have to.

-TOM:
Uh...

-KATE:
Okay...

-(man whistles)

-(man hooting)

KATE:

Oh, piss off.

Nice covering.

I'm-I'm trying my best here.

(Kate whistles)

Ooh. Thanks.

TOM (sighs):

Okay.

Okay. Oh, no. Hang on.

(bells jingling)

-Where are we going?

-This way. Come on.

(grunts)

Oh...

(Tom sighs)

-Look at that.

-Oh.

You never seen

this alleyway before?

-Nope. -This is

the narrowest alley in London.

My mate Hendo, he calls it

"Fat Man's Squeeze."

-It's pretty cool, though,

isn't it? -Sure. Why not?

I like hidden places.

Has anyone ever told you

there's something

slightly serial killer-y

about you?

No. Come to think of it,

no one's ever

-said that to me before.

-Ah.

TOM:

Never more than once, anyway.

Why are you always

dancing about?

Look up.

Oh, wow.

-Are they mice?

-Yeah, I think so.

There must be a story

attached to them.

I'll have to find out one day.

-Yeah. I mean, it's very...

-Come on.

(laughing):

You are so strange.

-You're so weird.

-Keep looking up.

-Oh! Ow.

-(thud, objects clatter)

-You okay?

-(groans) No!

Just my luck, I face-plant

into a pile of rubbish

because I wasn't looking

where I was going

like a bloody normal person.

Well, you're not

used to looking up.

Or smelling like a bin.

-Seen this?

-Seen what?

-KATE (laughing): Oh, my God.

-TOM:
Yeah.

I've walked down this street

so many times.

I've never seen that before.

Like I say. Follow me.

(quietly):

Ooh.

(bell tolling)

(Kate chuckles quietly)

KATE:

This is cool.

Welcome to my secret

little garden.

KATE:

I had no idea this existed.

TOM:

Not many people do.

(Kate sighs)

Oh. Have a look over there.

-It's Gideon.

-KATE:
Yes.

TOM:

He's recently divorced.

-Oh.

-He owes £748 in child support.

How do you know?

I heard him have a very loud

phone conversation

right behind that shrub.

KATE:
Well, he probably thought

no one could hear him.

-Oh, and that's Geoff,

a Mafia don. -Really?

-No. He works at Burger King.

-(laughs)

He's also a vegan,

so very conflicted.

Who's she?

TOM:

That's Ursula.

She lives in the flats

around the back.

She runs a brothel

down in Bethnal Green.

Now, some of the girls,

they used to come, take a seat,

just have a chat,

and then go back to work.

KATE:
Do you think

she was giving them tips?

TOM:

No.

More like a bit of support.

I want to talk to her.

No, you can't do that.

No, no, no, no, no.

Everyone keeps

everyone's secrets around here.

It's like an unspoken rule.

Well, you just told me

Gideon's.

Fair point.

You're one of us now.

(both sigh)

So, when's your next audition?

Saturday.

-It's for Frozen.

-What's that?

You... (laughs)

You really don't know?

-No, really.

-Okay. It's a film...

about two sisters

who used to get on really well,

and then don't

because one of them

has a problem with ice.

And the production is...

on ice!

Huh. So, you can skate

as well as sing?

-No.

-You can't skate?

Never tried it.

I'm gonna wing it.

It'll be cool.

I really enjoyed

our walk today.

Ditto.

Would you like to...

repeat the experience?

Would you like

to give me your number?

I don't have a phone.

What? (stammers)

(laughing):
Oh, my God,

I was just beginning to think

you're not as weird

as you look. Uh...

Before you throw me in the bin

with the rest

of your battered conquests,

it's...

not completely true.

I do have a phone.

-It's just locked

in a cupboard. -Why?

Well, I got so tired

of staring at my hand all day.

I mean, you should try it.

That's like saying

you should try death.

-(ringtone playing)

-I think somebody really

-wants to get hold of you.

-Yeah, no, I know.

Someone really isn't

gonna get the chance.

-♪ She drives me crazy... ♪

-(clears throat) No.

Ditch that.

All of your stresses

will just melt away.

Oh, but I just like stress.

-(horn honks)

-DRIVER:
Oi.

You getting on?

-Yeah.

-Your chariot awaits.

Indeed.

-(grunts)

-I'll see you at the store.

-Okay.

-And don't forget-- look up.

Oh, for God's sake,

shut up, will you?

(chuckles quietly)

(sighs softly)

-(sighing, chuckling): Hi. Hey.

-Hi. Thank you so much.

-Thank you so much. Thank you

so much. -It's okay. It's okay.

And your suite, madame.

-(Kate chuckling)

-Ta-da!

JENNA:
You called, uh,

just before we got the crib up,

-so there was still room. Yeah.

-Yeah.

This is gonna be so good

for my sex life. (chuckles)

(both laughing)

(music playing quietly)

KATE:

Mm...

Hey, Ruf.

-Hey, Kate.

-Thanks for this.

-Holding up?

-Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Fine. Totally fine.

-How's it all been?

-♪ She drives me crazy... ♪

-(groans)

JENNA:
Reentry and all that.

How's Santa?

Oh, you know, fine.

Her usual, curt, Asian self.

I thought you might have

decided to move on.

No, no. (grunts)

What, with something

that started as a Saturday job?

Yeah. Comfy where I am.

(Serbian accent): And, um,

uh, what about your folks

and mad Marta?

-With her law firm

and her briefcase. -Ah.

(Serbian accent): I stay out

of contact with the crazies.

(normal accent):

Um, you know,

just to give myself

a bit of space.

Are the doctors

keeping in touch?

-How about being pregnant? Huh?

-(sighs)

For crying out loud,

how's that?

JENNA:
It is a total

conspiracy, is what it is.

-Yeah? -Yeah, they lie

to you about pregnancy.

You know the whole glowing,

mother-to-be image

you see in the ads?

-Yeah.

-It's just bollocks.

You know, genuine bollocks.

It's just

a nine-month-long trauma

-spent piddling into cups...

-(sighs) Of course it is.

...being poked up the vag

by strangers with cold hands,

and, you know, if men

had to do this sh*t,

we would have

contraceptive beer.

You know, actually,

if men had to do it,

the human race

would just die out.

-Sh...

-No, Ruf.

I know you know all this,

and I know you're fed up

with feminism

in general, but...

I'm not fed up with feminism.

No, I mean,

she's not listening.

(snoring softly)

That's not right.

This is a fish knife.

I'm trying to cut a passion

fruit with a fish knife.

If anyone can do it, you can.

It's your fault.

You did this.

♪ Wake me up before you go-go ♪

Wake Me Up Bef

♪ Don't leave me hanging on

like a yo-yo ♪

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