Wonderwoman 1984 Page #6

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(imitating Sean Connery):

Stay back.

Are you seriously doing

a James Bond impression?

Now is not the time

for unpleasantness.

Now is the time... for romance!

("Praying for Time"

by George Michael playing)

You like?

I like, yeah.

Let's go.

♪ These are the days

of the open hand ♪

♪ They will not be the last ♪

♪ Look around now ♪

♪ These are the days of

the beggars and the choosers ♪

♪ This is the year

of the hungry man ♪

♪ Whose place is in the past ♪

♪ Hand in hand with ignorance ♪

♪ And legitimate excuses ♪

♪ The rich declare

themselves poor ♪

♪ And most of us are not sure ♪

♪ If we have too much ♪

♪ But we'll take our chances ♪

♪ 'Cause God's stopped

keeping score ♪

♪ I guess somewhere

along the way ♪

♪ He must have let us

all out to play ♪

♪ Turned his back,

and all God's children ♪

♪ Crept out the back door ♪

♪ Well, maybe

we should all be ♪

♪ Praying for time... ♪

-Oi!

-Oh, sorry! -Oh, crap.

-You can't be in here!

-Yeah, no. -Sorry, no.

-We're-we're leaving.

-Absolutely, we're leaving.

-Sorry... (screams)

-Whoa!

-(Kate squeals)

-TOM:
Oh!

(both laugh, whooping)

-(groans) Ow!

-(Tom chuckling)

KATE:

I'm coming. I'm com...

(both chuckle and sigh)

I would, uh... I'd call that

a successful date.

Fun, free, illegal, romantic.

-And practical, too.

Don't forget. -(laughs)

Why practical?

Your audition.

-Remember?

-Yes.

I'd like to think that I played

a part in your rise to stardom.

-(laughs) -Remember me

when you're at the top.

No chance. Tom who?

Actually, Tom who?

Webster.

Huh.

You look like a Webster.

Now what?

Now I've got to go to work.

Um...

You knew.

-I work nights.

-Yes.

I knew.

It's night. Cool. Okay.

How you gonna get home?

-Oh, the bus.

-(Tom grunts)

You gonna be okay?

As okay as I'll ever be

on the bus.

Okay, then.

I'll come find you at the shop.

(chuckling):
I'm not sure

if I've still got a job.

Santa kind of hates me.

Maybe you should do

something nice for Santa.

Good luck.

Look up.

-(chuckles softly)

-(horn honks)

-(brakes squealing)

-(horn honking)

Christ.

So, this is our selection

-of nutcrackers.

-Working hard over here.

-Mm-hmm.

-Mm.

You know, from the ballet?

-Tchaikovsky?

-WOMAN:
Ah.

MAN:

Which kind of music is this?

-I want something to be...

-WOMAN:
Listen. Be quiet.

SANTA:

This is Christmas music.

You must enjoy it.

SANTA:

This is a big nutcracker.

MAN:

Can my nuts fit inside there?

SANTA:
Uh, depends on

how big are your nuts.

WOMAN:
But it's too big.

We can't take that with us.

Santa, um, I think

I can take over from there.

Because, um, there's also

someone here, a gentleman,

who requires

your specific assistance.

SANTA:

Yes, you can have a look.

Think about it.

KATE:

I'm gonna show you to

the even bigger nutcrackers

around the corner.

MAN:

There's bigger nuts?

-KATE:
For your big nuts.

Here we are. -MAN: Oh.

Have you come back

for the gibbon?

Of all the things in my life,

this is my best thing.

What is?

Christmas.

Really?

This is why I love

to come in here.

I also love it.

That is why I have this shop.

Oh, wow.

(chuckles softly)

♪ Have a holly jolly

Christmas ♪

♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪

♪ Oh, by golly ♪

♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas

this year. ♪

(applause)

Kate, that was lovely.

Thank you.

Wonderful.

I can smell the commitment.

Do you know we have people

turn up here,

never been

on an ice rink before?

(laughing):

I just couldn't imagine.

Do you know we had a woman

turn up in a crop top?

-In a crop top to audition.

-Yeah, I remember.

Do you remember her flip-flops?

-Remember those? -Of course

I remember. -I remember.

CASTING DIRECTOR:

Thank you. We'll be in touch.

-DIRECTOR:
Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

I think she'd be good

for the horse. Don't you think?

-DIRECTOR:
No, we can...

-KATE:
Oh, no!

-DIRECTOR:
Are you all right?

-I, uh... I did that

just in case you thought

I was too perfect.

KATE:

Okay.

Okay.

DIRECTOR:
Thank goodness

for a heavy woolen tight.

KATE:

Idiot.

Skaters fall. It's fine.

MAN:

...at the same time.

Also, nobody's clapping.

(continues indistinctly)

-(scattered applause)

-(indistinct chatter)

-(applause)

-(crowd murmuring)

So, it went well,

and I am happy.

Good.

All set for your date?

Good Lord.

(clears throat)

Okay.

-Right, um...

-What?

We're just gonna need

to dial this down.

I'm making an effort.

He's gonna think he's wandered

into the llama enclosure.

Close.

(sighs)

Ow.

KATE:

Mm-hmm.

-Ow.

-Oh, yeah.

Serves you right.

So I defer to the Swiper queen.

-Blot.

-Mm, mm.

There we are.

So, where is See-Through

taking you?

-I have no idea.

-What's his name?

I can't pronounce it.

Lots of glottal stops.

"Yogh..." (hawking)

Oh, when I try to say it,

I sound like a cat

with a fur ball.

So I've decided

to call him "Boy."

Mm. Well, at least your name's

easier to pronounce.

What? Huang Qing Shin?

You're not really called Santa?

Of course not, idiot.

-I chose it for the shop.

-Really?

Yeah, when I worked

at the pet shop,

I called myself Kitty.

-No.

-Mm-hmm.

And at the health food shop,

I was Miso.

-No, no.

-Mm-hmm. Yes, yes.

Guess what it was in the bakery

on the Edgware Road.

Uh, Crumpet?

-Sausage Roll?

-Muffin.

-(laughs):
Muffin?

-"Muff" for short.

Excellent.

More important is:

how do I look?

Really hot.

(giggles)

Did you just giggle

like a girl?

I am a girl.

-Not really.

-Oh, shut up.

And where's this man of yours?

The one you keep

looking out the window for

instead of working.

Oh, he's just... I don't know.

He hasn't got a phone.

-Oh. He's wise.

-Mm.

-What is he doing with you?

-Nothing.

Mm.

Don't worry, elf.

He'll turn up.

(sighs)

(man grunts)

(indistinct conversation)

We woke him up.

(conversation continues

indistinctly)

(bicycle bell dings)

(quiet chatter)

Hi. Excuse me.

I'm just looking for someone.

-Who's that, then?

-Uh, Tom.

Ta-ta-ta. Would you like

a biscuit, Arthur?

Have you got a bourbon,

Danny boy?

No, but can I press you

to a custard cream?

Ooh.

I wish somebody would.

-Tom, did you say?

-KATE:
Yeah.

Tom. Um, h-he's tall...

-Tom!

-(people murmuring)

Take your pick, young lady.

Right. Yeah, see, the thing is,

he's not homeless.

Well, what's he

doing here, then?

Um, well, he works here.

-Nights, I think.

-Ah.

Well, I don't see

the night lot, me.

-He must be a volunteer.

-Yes. That's...

MAN:

Oi, Danny! Give us a hand?

Speaking of which,

be a pet and serve the teas

while I get the soup sorted.

And only

two biscuits each, mind.

I'm not made

of bloody biscuits.

And watch this one,

'cause last week,

he filled his pockets.

Come on, then! Tea's up!

Okay.

I'm Tom.

-Ex-grenadier. Will I do?

-Lovely. Um...

KATE:

Do you know, actually, it's...

a whole different Tom.

But would you like a biscuit?

I could... make some tea.

ARTHUR:

Just the two, then?

Just...

(weakly):

Anyone like a cup of tea?

Try and keep it down to...

Oi, oi.

Nice of you to volunteer.

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