Woody Woodpecker Page #2

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overwhelm the landscape?

LANCE:
I've got government

land on all sides.

Yeah. Not like there are

any neighbors to complain.

All I'm saying is if you were to build

something a bit more modest,

you'd preserve these old growth trees

and be a lot more green-minded.

Well, it's my land, so I'm pretty sure

I can build however I want.

But don't worry,

I'll leave plenty of trees for you to hug.

Well. Let me know if you see any poachers.

And good luck with this

Death Star you're building.

Nice meeting you.

Who does she think she is?

I like her. She's cool.

-Ugh.

-Don't worry about it, baby.

Hey, Tommy, come help me

with this stupid grill.

Um, sounds like fun, Lance,

but I think I'm gonna go explore a little.

Like you say,

can't play video games all the time!

Chip off the old block.

Part boy, part lawyer.

How the heck does this thing work?

Whoa!

Ha-ha!

What the heck are you?

Now, it's your turn.

Come on, kid. Show me what you got.

O-ho! O-ho! Yeah!

Uh-huh.

Ta-da!

Wow. You are really cool for a woodpecker.

Are those Peanut Butter Bonkers?

I'm a sucker for peanut butter!

Come on, brother. Share the wealth,

spread the love. Hook me up.

What are you trying to tell me?

Humans. You gotta

spell everything out for them.

Oh.

You're hungry.

You want a Peanut Butter Bonker?

Does a woodpecker peck in the woods?

Whoa!

Wa-hoo!

You like that, huh?

Even better than beetle larva!

Which if you haven't tried,

is quite good when in season.

-Have another?

-Don't gotta ask me twice.

Huh?

-It's okay.

Hmm?

Mmm...

Hey, don't let the mushy music fool you.

We're not friends or anything.

I'm only doing this for the free food.

-I'm gonna call you Woody.

-Huh?

You like that name? Woody?

I'm gonna call you

Kid Who Just Ran Out Of Bonkers.

See you!

Well, I hope everyone is hungry.

I wanted our first night in the wilderness

to be a little less wild.

-Got any pizza?

-No, I don't have any pizza.

This is much better than pizza!

Nothing is better than pizza.

Well, I think it looks

absolutely delicious, Lance.

Thank you, baby.

Here's to me building,

and you designing something amazing.

-Amazing.

-Cheers.

Here, cheers.

Oh, come on, clink it.

-Hiya, campers!

Sorry I'm late. Traffic.

So, what's for dinner?

Mmm, good to see you again,

Kid Who Gives Me Food.

What is that thing?

It's okay. I met him in the forest.

He's friendly.

I named him Woody.

What are you doing? Don't feed it.

-We'll never get rid of it.

Stay away from him!

You don't know where it's been!

And I have no idea

where you've been, sweetheart.

He's practically tame.

Yeah. As long as you feed me.

Okay, who cut the cheese?

Whoever did it, did a great job!

Please, get rid of it!

Shoo! Shoo! Get outta here!

You know, it's so funny

when they try to fly.

-You don't have wings, you dummy!

-Get outta here!

Mmm, beans.

Get rid of it! Do something!

Okay, okay, okay.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit

The more you eat, the more you...

Disgusting!

-I think he's awesome!

-WOODY:
Mmm-hmm.

- Whoa!

-Get outta here.

You know, I'm sensing

a little hostility here.

Hey, stop. He's not hurting anyone.

You got something in your hair.

Ow. Ow!

-Missed me! Whoa!

-Is it something I said?

Yoo-hoo!

Over here, you big featherless freak!

-Oh... Oh! Oh, baby!

WOODY:
See you at breakfast.

LANCE:
Oh, no.

VANESSA:
You hit me!

Baby, I'm so sorry.

Look, it was an accident.

Aw, let me see, let me see, let me see.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? You okay?

Look, let's just eat our...

Dinner.

-Ow!

Can you not hear that?

That woman could sleep

through a hurricane.

Can you believe that stupid bird?

Tommy?

Hey!

Shoo!

Get outta here! Come on, beat it!

Go find somewhere else to peck.

Go find somewhere else to sleep.

Around here, I'm at the top

of the pecking order.

I said beat it!

He makes the catch,

and the crowd goes wild!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Give me that back right now!

Big day, Mr. Walters.

Ready to break ground?

I sure am, George.

Remember, I want this house

on the market by fall.

So it needs to be done quickly.

Well, for enough money,

anything can be done quickly.

Even out here in the sticks.

Well, that is good to hear.

'Cause according to my schedule,

you're already 20 minutes behind.

-Your schedule?

-Oh, I am hands-on, George.

I'm gonna ride your crew.

Super! They'll love that.

And by the study fireplace,

I was thinking twin

zebra sheepskin chairs.

They'll be a nice contrast

to the Crested Butte cigar leather sofas.

And, of course,

the 30-light, elk antler chandelier

will tie it all together.

And I want it all done in eight weeks.

That's really not enough time.

Money is no object.

-Consider it done.

-Thank you!

Lance, honey,

I've decided on volcanic stone

for the kitchen counters. Mmm?

Great.

Baby, aren't those

the most expensive counters in the world?

Well, duh! The best usually is.

Let me see.

-Okay, honey.

-VANESSA:
That's so exciting!

Hey, Tommy, you wanna watch

the excavation?

Hmm, let me think about it. No.

Okay, uh, I'll take that no as a no.

Can't a bird catch some Z's around here?

Huh? Hey, what's the big idea?

MAN:
Watch it! Watch it!

Wait a minute.

They're not camping, they're moving in!

No, no, no. This is my forest!

Time for an eviction notice.

Hey! Yeah, you!

Get off my lawn.

-Punk.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"

"P." "P who?"

"Pee-yew!"

Somebody get that bird!

WOODY:
Let's see who's next, shall we?

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe!

Baby!

-Baby!

-WOODY:
Bombs away!

The bird!

WOODY:
How's that for an eviction notice?

No. No!

The good thing about a high-fiber diet,

it keeps you regular.

-Whoa!

That'll buff right out!

-Oh, baby.

Don't you "baby" me!

Well, the bad news is

you're encroaching on the habitat

of a very territorial bird.

No kidding.

Well, don't worry about the window.

We'll just add that to the bill.

Would you keep it down out here?

-Well, see?

-Shh.

-That's much better.

Tommy, open the door!

Tommy!

You planning on buying it,

or just tuning it to death?

Uh... Sorry, I was just browsing.

Don't sweat it. Play away!

-I'm Jill.

-Uh, I'm Tommy.

-Are you visiting?

-Yeah.

My dad's building this house by the river.

Oh, man. That mega mansion

everyone's talking about?

Yeah, that would be it.

So, you interested in it?

Uh, this is a really...

This is a really sweet guitar.

I helped restore it.

The guy who sold it to us

was a roadie for Springsteen.

Who knows,

Springsteen himself may have played it.

Or at least breathed near it.

You're not bad. Not bad at all.

Thanks. I've been taking lessons

for a couple years.

Uh, but I left my guitar at home, so...

I can make you a really sweet deal

on that guitar if you like.

My dad is the one with the coin.

I'm pretty much broke.

Maybe we can work something out.

My friend Lyle and I have a band.

He plays the drums, I play bass, but...

You need a guitarist.

Yeah.

The town's annual Firefly Festival

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