WTF! Page #2

She just has some sh*t

she needs to deal with.

Bonnie, you

can't just say that...

Bonnie, why don't you tell us?

I'd really like to know.

Go on.

Okay, well, I really shouldn't

be saying anything right now,

but she told me,

a few years back,

some crazy guy killed

a bunch of her friends,

and she's the only one

who survived.

- What?!

- I haven't been able

to get her to say

anything about it since.

Wow. That's totally f***ed up.

Are you serious?

Swear to God.

My God.

I mean, like,

we've known Rachel for years,

but none of us knew any of this.

Maybe the cabin...

is not such a good idea.

No, no, no.

I'll talk to her.

Okay, no.

I will talk to her drunk ass.

Since the dawn of time,

for better or for worse,

usually for worse,

history is characterized by

a tendency to repeat itself.

Civilizations causing

their own demise,

genocide, violence.

All are catastrophic effects

of this global phenomenon.

Rachel.

Rachel, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come here.

Come here, come here,

come here, come here.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

It's okay.

I'm here.

Shh.

You okay?

Aside from the ultra-meltdown

I just had...

Yeah, totally. I'm good.

It's happening again, isn't it?

I just...

I had a bad moment in class.

I feel much better.

Just need to take

a deep breath, or possibly two.

Is this about the trip

you're going on?

Spring blowout in the woods?

Who told you?

I have my sources.

Bonnie's been blasting it

all over social media,

hasn't she?

- Mm-hmm.

I need to conquer my fear.

I think that this will be

a good first step.

Are you sure?

It's been three years...

I'm 99 percent sure.

What about the ultra-meltdown?

That was more of

a mini ultra-meltdown.

Oh.

Tell you what...

At the risk of running

a serious social faux pas

by inviting myself...

Are you saying you want

to escort me on my trip

in case I have

a spring breakdown?

Well that...

and to get piss drunk

in the woods.

So, who's ready

for spring break?!

Let's do it!

Someone's in better spirits.

Smells like you've been

into some spirits.

I'll be driving.

Okay!

I really hope Rachel is okay.

It'd suck so hard

if she had, like, PTSD,

or something like that.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

Do you think we can

get, like, a Wi-fi hotspot

for my phone?

Hey, girl.

Hey, Jacob, have

you got those bags?

I got 'em.

All right.

We're good to go, huh?

- Are we there yet?

- We are not there.

- Don't touch her!

- Bye!

- I've got the pot buzz.

- Don't touch her!

- I got my bong...

- Stop talking, Sam.

I got my vaporizer...

I got edibles...

You guys bring any pot?

- Spring break, b*tches!

- Spring break, b*tches...

- Stop talking, Sam!

We know this isn't

easy Rachel, but right now

you're the only one who could

help us put the pieces together.

Rachel, we need to establish

a timeline for that night.

We need to know

everything that happened,

when it happened,

and how it happened,

once you and your friends

went on your trip.

Nowhere.

I beg your pardon?

We drove into

the middle of nowhere,

and that's where it all started.

Oh my God, I can't believe

you just closed the door on me!

Jerk!

Ew!

Maybe we should

just keep driving.

Shut up.

Hey.

Hi, ladies.

Whoa.

Seriously? You too?

Perverts!

Wow. That's impressive work.

You should see what I can do

with a dollar.

Oops.

Drop a 20, and things

could get really interesting.

Here we go.

For you.

It's party time!

I know, seriously.

Here we go.

Ugh! I'm really hungry!

You think

they have Sno Balls there?

Are you guys already high?

What?! Are you serious?

On their sh*t?!

My 13-year-old brother

has higher quality herb.

You know, what?

Your mouth says my weed sucks,

but your eyes, they're saying

something different.

What do they say?

Oh!

You guys are paying, right?

This place gives me the creeps.

I gotta piss like a race horse.

Don't worry about me, Sam.

I'll be fine.

What a d*ckhead.

Have I mentioned lately

that you need to dump him?

Seldom do I say this, but...

Bonnie's right.

Ew.

This place has, like, nothing.

Hey, hillbilly man...

You take credit card. Right?

You folks gotta be

a long way from home,

thinking I would take

a credit card in this place.

Well, do you take cash?

Guys, whatever you'd like,

it's on me.

Yay.

Hey, it's like

it's your birthday.

Hey excuse me, sir.

So, we're heading out

to my late uncle's place.

It's at the end

of Linden street,

like, in the thick

of the woods out there.

You got any short cuts

or anything that'll

get us out there quicker?

I lost three good dogs there.

I never even went back

to look for 'em.

Well, I feel, like,

eight pounds lighter.

All right, well,

this should cover everything,

and you can keep the change...

'cause, uh,

I don't wanna touch anything

that's touched your hands.

You folks ought to take heed.

I wouldn't go there

if I were you.

Young, pretty people

like yourselves.

Yeah, muchos gracias

for the directions, bro.

Ew.

Goddamn dumb chick

forgot her credit card.

Look at him back there. How the

hell do you deal with that?

You don't know him like I do.

He's actually a really

sweet guy behind closed doors.

Okay well, if you're not

gonna dump him,

then maybe you should

turn the tables on him.

Shut him out completely,

and use him for the one thing

he might actually be good for.

Lifting things up

and putting them down?

I assume you're talking

about sex...

Who said anything about sex?

Gross.

I need to get outta here.

You and me both.

Uh, I'm occupied, obviously.

I could shotgun it

into your mouth if you want.

You do that and I'll put you

in a chokehold.

I know jiu-jitsu, b*tch.

Okay.

Wooh!

Look at this place!

Come on babe,

let's check out the bedrooms.

Uh, why don't we let the guys

get our luggage,

so we can freshen up?

That sounds like

a great idea, Bonnie.

Your pores could certainly

use a once-over!

Heh.

Wait. How do we get in?

What do you think the chances

are of Bonnie f***ing me?

Normally, I'd say no,

But you did somehow get that

chick at the motel to f*** you.

You act like you're surprised.

If anything's surprising,

it's that you got laid

at that motel.

Why is that surprising?

I'm just saying, I've never seen

you with a chick before.

Honestly, I was beginning

to think hat you were gay.

What are you guys talking about?

I've been with tons of chicks!

Your four fingers and your

thumb don't count as a chicks.

Sorry, Bev.

I'm the one in the group

that gets the chicks!

This is f***ing bullshit!

Self-proclaimed.

Naw, he's definitely gay.

I f***ed your mom.

No, you didn't.

Wait, no, you didn't!

Ooh, wait for me.

I think a nice buzz could

even out my high pretty good.

All right, ladies, the name

of the game is chugging.

Are. You in?

- Yes.

- Yes.

Okay, one, two, three!

Ooh, wow.

All this bromance in the air

really makes me wish

I was a lesbian.

Lookin' good, girls!

Damn, never mind. I was way

too stoned for that game...

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