X-Rated: The Greatest Adult Movies of All Time Page #2

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THAT I FELT MYSELF SLIP ON TO

THE OTHER SIDE,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

UH, MARILYN, SHE PASSED OUT,

SHE FAINTED. AND I-- IN MY MIND,

I SAID, "SH*T, I'M GOING TO

JAIL. I DONE KILLED THIS WHITE

WOMAN WITH MY DICK."

WELL, THE TRAPEZES

WERE A BIT MUCH.

IT'S A GOOD THING I WAS IN

PRETTY GOOD SHAPE, BECAUSE THERE

WAS A LOT OF STANDING AROUND,

LITERALLY, ON TOP OF PEOPLE,

AND THERE WAS TRAPEZES

AND WHATNOT. YOU HAD TO BE

A GYMNAST, DEFINITELY.

THE WAY THAT THE STORY OF--

WHEN "BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR"

AND "IVORY SOAP BOX" CAME OUT,

I TOLD THE MITCHELL BROTHERS

THAT, "OH, BY THE WAY, I DID

THIS COMMERCIAL FOR PROCTER &

GAMBLE, UH, IVORY SOAP BOX."

AND THEY'RE SAYING, "WHAT?"

WE WALKED DOWN THE SOAP AISLES,

WE LOOK, AND THERE IS MY MUG

ON ALL THESE BOXES, STARING DOWN

AT US, AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO

BE THE VERY SAME WEEK THA "BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR" OPENED

IN THE THEATERS.

I'M NOT GONNA SAY THAT I CREATED

PORNO CHIC, BUT I KNOW THAT I

WAS PART OF IT.

AND THAT WAS A VERY IMPORTAN TIME IN OUR HISTORY WHERE PEOPLE

LIKE JOHNNY CARSON WERE WAITING

IN LINE TO SEE "DEEP THROAT."

IT WAS COUPLES, AND IT WAS

ALL DIFFERENT PEOPLE FROM

DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE GOING

TO SEE ADULT FILMS AND GETTING

YOU'RE TELLING ME THA I'M DEAD, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO

DECIDE WHETHER TO SEND ME UP TO

HEAVEN OR DOWN TO HELL.

I REALLY HONESTLY THOUGH NOBODY I KNEW-- MUCH LESS

ANYBODY I WAS RELATED TO--

WOULD EVER KNOW ABOUT IT.

I CERTAINLY DID NOT EXPEC IT TO BECOME A HOUSEHOLD WORD.

"THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES"

WAS DEFINITELY AN ART MOVIE,

AND I'M STILL NOT REALLY 100%

SURE EXACTLY WHAT THE STORY WAS.

BUT I STILL THINK IT WORKED.

CAN YOU HELP ME?

I-- I SEEMED TO HAVE LOS MY WAY.

I'LL HELP YOU ALL I CAN,

BUT YOU'RE NOT LOST.

THEN WHERE AM I?

YOU'RE HERE.

JERRY DAMIANO WAS

THE SWEETEST GUY I EVER MET.

HE LOOKED BACK OVER AT ME,

AND HE SAYS, "CAN YOU COOK?"

I SAID, "YEAH."

HE SAID, "OKAY, YOU WANNA

COOK ON THE FILM?"

I SAID, "SURE."

HE SAID, "I GOT SOMEBODY COMING

IN TO READ THE PART OF THE DEVIL

IN THIS FILM I'M DOING.

WOULD YOU MIND READING

WITH HIM?"

AND I SAID, "SURE,

I'D BE GLAD TO."

I'VE DONE EVERYTHING THA I'VE BEEN TAUGHT.

DOESN'T THAT COUNT FOR ANYTHING?

AND HE LOOKS OVER AT ME,

HE SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY

MISS JONES?"

AND I SAID, "AND COOK?"

HOW ABOUT LUST?

LUST?

YES, LUST.

IT IS ONE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY

SINS, ISN'T IT?

HE OFFERED ME $100 A DAY TO

DO MISS JONES.

AND I SAID, "THAT SOUNDS GOOD."

SO I WAS MAKING 125 A DAY,

INSTEAD OF JUST 100.

GEORGINA WAS AMAZING.

HER ACTING WAS FANTASTIC,

AND THE WAY THAT SHE F***ED

WAS SO PASSIONATE.

LIKE, SHE-- SHE BROUGHT ENERGY

TO ALL OF THE SCENES, AND I REALLY, REALLY SHOWED.

FOR THAT DAY, IT WAS A BIG

BUDGET FILM.

I THINK THEY WERE SPENDING

SOMETHING LIKE $25,000.

IT DIDN'T PUT MY KIDS THROUGH

COLLEGE, BUT IT CERTAINLY DID

OPEN UP AN INTERESTING CAN OF

WORMS FOR MY LIFE.

THAT SUICIDE SCENE-- EVERY ACTOR

AND ACTRESS IN THE WORLD,

FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME,

WANTS TO PLAY A DEATH SCENE.

A SUICIDE AT THE BEGINNING

OF A PORN MOVIE REALLY SETS

THE TONE.

AND I THINK IT'S ALSO VERY

BRAVE TO START A MOVIE THAT'S

SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT SEX

WITH DEATH.

AH, HERMAN, HERMAN, THA BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, AFFECTIONATE

BOA, WHO COULD TURN AND LOOK AS

FIERCE AS YOU WANTED HIM TO.

WHAT AN ACTOR.

IT WASN'T PLANNED FOR HIM

TO BE IN THE FILM.

AND I'M TALKING TO THE SNAKE

ON THE BED, AND JERRY WALKS BY

AND SKIDS TO A HALT AND SAID,

"YOU'RE A SNAKE WRANGLER."

HE SAID, "WOULD YOU DO

A SCENE WITH IT?"

MARKS SAYS, "$100 A DAY,

SAME AS I GET."

SO HERMAN WAS IN THE FILM.

THE ANAL SCENE, WHICH EVERYONE,

OF COURSE, ALWAYS ASKS ABOUT--

I DON'T KNOW-- IT'S-- IT'S A

HUGE FANTASY IN EVERYONE'S MIND,

I THINK, TO-- TO GIVE IT A TRY.

AND WHEN IT GETS ALL BIG AND FA AND HARD AND SLIPPERY, AND YOU

COULD STICK IT IN MY ASS.

GETTING F***ED IN THE ASS

IS JUST A COUPLE OF MINUTES OF--

YOU GET USED TO IT.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

ABOUT THE SEX SCENES WAS

GEORGINA'S DIRTY TALK.

CAN YOU FEEL HIS PRICK?

CAN HE FEEL YOU?

CAN YOU FEEL HIM?

CAN YOU FEEL YOUR C*CKS

TOGETHER?

CAN YOU, RUBBING AGAINST MY...

IT SO ADDED TO THE SEX SCENE.

THE DIRTY-- THE DIRTY TALK

WAS ONE OF THE HOTTEST THINGS

OF THE MOVIE FOR ME.

WHEN JERRY CALLED ME ABOU A YEAR AFTER WE DID THE FILM

AND SAID, "I WANT YOU TO GO TO

TORONTO FOR THIS GRAND

OPENING--"

IT WAS LAVISH, IT WAS ELEGANT,

IT WAS COVERED BY A MILLION

CAMERAS ALL OVER THE ROOM, AND

SPLASHED ALL OVER THE PLACE.

AND...

I SAID, "WELL, SO MUCH FOR

ANIM-- ANONYMITY NOW.

I GUESS I-- I GUESS I'LL

HAVE TO TELL MY PARENTS WHA WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

MISTY BEETHOVEN.

IS THAT YOUR REAL NAME?

NO, IT'S NOT.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD SOUND

MORE IMPORTANT.

WHAT WAS IT BEFORE?

I WAS CAST IN "MISTY BEETHOVEN"

AND I FLEW TO NEW YORK,

AND I MET HIM, AND HE TALKED TO

ME AND EVERYTHING AND TOLD ME

TO GO BACK HOME AND TO GE EVERY BIT OF CLOTHING,

EVERY PHOTOGRAPH THAT HAD EVER

BEEN TAKEN OF ME IN MY ENTIRE

LIFE, AND BRING IT ALL BACK

TO NEW YORK.

AS HYMAN MANDEL ONCE SAID,

"NEVER LET THE FACT THAT THEY

ARE DOING IT WRONG STOP YOU

FROM DOING IT RIGHT."

WHO WAS HYMAN MANDEL?

I DON'T KNOW.

I READ THAT ON THE MEN'S ROOM

WALL AT THE NEW YORK

IT'S A TAKE ON GEORGE BERNARD

SHAW'S "PYGMALION" OR MODERN-DAY

"MY FAIR LADY" OR EVEN "SHE'S

ALL THAT," IF YOU'RE IN THE

BUT IT'S TAKING THIS WOMAN,

WHO IS, LIKE, A DIME-STORE

HOOKER, BASICALLY, GIVING

HAND JOBS IN MOVIE THEATERS.

EXCUSE ME,

MY GUM WAS IN FRONT OF YOU.

HOW'D YOU KNOW

THAT WAS YOURS?

FIVE SEATS IN.

FIVE'S MY LUCKY NUMBER.

YOU AMERICAN?

MOST OF THE TIME.

FIVE BUCKS FOR A HAND JOB.

I'LL MEET YOU OUTSIDE IN

TEN MINUTES.

TEN MINUTES?

MM-HMM. TEN MINUTES.

I HAVE TO MEET NAPOLEON.

NAPOLEON?

NAPOLEON.

HI. YOU'RE RIGHT ON TIME.

JAMIE GILLIS WAS A

SEXOLOGIST, AND HE WAS GOING

TO TRAIN ME TO BECOME THE

HE TAKES HER ON AS A PROJEC WHERE HE FEELS HE CAN TURN THIS

LOWLY STREET GIRL INTO A

MY DEAR, YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE

NADIR OF PASSION, THE MOS UNEXCITING THING GOD HAS EVER

CREATED, A SEXUAL CIVIL

SERVICE WORKER.

NOBODY NEEDS TO READ MY LAS BOOK MORE OR DESERVES TO BE IN

MY NEXT BOOK LESS THAN YOU.

IT'S FASCINATING, BECAUSE

YOU'RE WATCHING THIS VERY

INSECURE CONSTANCE MONEY

GO FROM THIS VERY UNATTRACTIVE

WIG AND MAKEUP TO THE END, WHERE

SHE'S BASICALLY TAKING ONE OF

THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS MEN IN TOWN

AND PUTTING A STRAP ON

AND F***ING HIM WITH IT.

I WENT UP TO SEE A FELLOW

BY THE NAME OF RADLEY METZGER,

WHO, UH, HIS NOM DE PORN

BECAME HENRY PARIS.

AND, UM, UH, INSTEAD OF BEING,

UH, ON THE FILM, HE'S A BIT OF A

SVENGALI, AND I WOUND UP BEING

IN THE FILM.

YOU DON'T THINK I'M GONNA LE HIM MAKE THAT PERILOUS JOURNEY

ALONE?

IT WAS QUITE AN EXPERIENCE,

BECAUSE I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH

WHAT BEHAVIOR AND PROTOCOL WAS

SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, UH, ON AN

ADULT SET, SO IT WAS REALLY

BREAKING INTO SOMETHING THA BROKE ALL THE RULES.

WISH I HAD HER BESIDE ME

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