You, Me and Dupree Page #5

You're right.

What if he had

a girlfriend?

Good idea.

But how is a guy

with no job, no car,

living on somebody's couch

gonna find

any kind of girlfriend?

Our new librarian.

She seems really nice.

You want to fix Dupree up

with a really nice librarian?

Listen, I know the guy

for 25 years.

I think he's more into

the young, foreign,

non-librarian type.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to ask.

I wouldn't get my hopes up.

I'll do it.

Oh, that's great.

Do you want to know

anything about her?

No. Well, does she have a car?

Yeah. She does.

Good. See if she can swing by

and get me around 8:00.

Or quarter to.

Tonight?

Please.

Okay.

Candy?

Mandy.

Mandy. That's even better.

Librarian.

(MOLLY GIGGLING)

No. No.

I thought you were

really brave.

I mean, I have a whole new

respect for you, Carl.

Well, the rice was okay,

but just for the record,

octopus does not

taste like chicken.

But you ate it.

(FUNKY COLD MEDINA

PLAYING ON STEREO)

What is that?

Funky Cold Medina?

It looks like Dupree

brought his date home.

Honey, what is a tie

doing on our door?

Molly, I think we ought to

drive around the block

a couple times.

Wait a minute. No way.

Mandy's a Mormon.

She's not the kind of girl...

A Mormon?

...who would get busy

on the first date.

You fixed Dupree up

with a Mormon librarian.

Molly, wait!

(SHRIEKING)

Oh, my God.

What?

Let's drive

around the block.

Carl!

That butter dish

was our wedding gift.

Guys, guys! Hold it!

Let me explain.

What was he doing with butter?

Dupree, no need to explain.

It's not what it looks like.

Dupree,

no explanation necessary.

I know.

Go back in the house!

Not before I thank Molly

for the best night of my life.

Mol, Mol. Thank you.

What happened in there,

it was so natural.

So beautiful.

Go back inside.

Listen, I've got neighbors.

I know you do.

But listen to me.

I'm in love.

Dupree. Dupree,

I'm not going to do this

with you tonight!

Jesus! Molly,

call the fire department!

Oh, my...

Carl!

Mandy!

(MANDY SCREAMING)

Mandy! Mandy!

MOLLY:
Fire in our house!

It's fire!

CARL:
My couch!

DUPREE:
Roll!

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

God, I loved this couch.

You know,

when I saw you on fire,

my heart stopped.

I had so much adrenaline

pumping through me,

I probably could have...

Could have picked up this car

and just hurled it 10 blocks.

Are you gonna do this,

or am I gonna have to?

I'll take care of it.

Tonight, Carl.

Go on, get out of here.

Or I'm not responsible

for what these hands

are gonna do. Go!

Bye.

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, just a little

smoke inhalation.

Wow. Unbelievable.

Mandy was

completely unharmed.

Fire chief said that

the butter probably

saved her life.

You talk about a miracle.

You just got to thank

the big man.

It's all you can...

What is wrong with you?

Why did you have to use

so many candles?

I was just trying

to set a mood.

You know how I am, Carl.

Yeah. I do.

Look...

It's about time

you got on the road.

You guys need any help?

No, we're good. Relax.

DUPREE:
Well,

I had a lovely stay.

Thank you both

for your generosity.

Sorry about last night,

and no hard feelings.

I hope. At least,

there are none on my part.

Okay. Are you sure

you got a place to go?

Yeah. I got a place to go.

Going to Mandy's.

The librarian?

Don't you think

that's kind of moving

a little quickly, Dupree?

Maybe it is, but so what?

Something special

is happening there.

I'm not gonna fight it.

Hey, take care of this

big mook for me.

Bye. See you guys.

Tosh, listen.

You got the heart

of a damn lion.

I respect you.

You took a beating,

but you took it like a man.

God bless all of you.

DUPREE:
Goodbye!

Off to Mandy's!

(HORN HONKING)

Oh, my God! Carl.

Okay!

Sir, are you sure

you're okay?

DUPREE:
My helmet saved me.

You see that?

He's gonna be fine.

Here's your bag.

Thank you.

Bye!

Bye.

Carl.

Carl?

We've been staring at this

for over two hours.

Let's go get some dinner.

Or margaritas.

Celebrate our emancipation.

The insurance adjuster

recommended that we

sue Dupree.

For a moose head?

(LAUGHING) Just curious.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

It was the margarita

that did it, wasn't it?

It was the emancipation

that did it.

(SMOOTH OPERATOR

PLAYING ON RADIO)

CARL:
I like this song.

Smooth ta-ta-ria

She makes a smooth margarita

We had some good margaritas

Oh, my God.

What?

Are you kidding me?

What the hell is he doing?

MOLLY:
I thought

he was going to Mandy's.

Honey, I don't think

he can see us.

Maybe we should

just keep going.

It's pouring rain outside.

Not that bad.

Honey, look at him.

What?

Damn it.

Molly. Molly!

Dupree!

Dupree.

Dupree, what are you doing?

It's pouring rain outside.

I don't know

what I'm doing anymore.

Yeah, well,

what about Mandy?

Don't ask.

Carl, can you get his bike?

Come on. Let's go.

Let's go home.

MOLLY:
Carl, honey, bike.

MOLLY:
Carl!

I'm coming!

I really appreciate this,

guys.

Trust me, no more open flames.

I've learned my lesson.

All right, well,

it's been a long night.

So, I'm gonna go to bed.

Dupree, try not to go to sleep

with that head wet. Okay?

Good night, Molly.

Dupree. I don't mean

to come down on you,

but you need to start

getting your life together.

We're grown-ups now.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I know. I know.

You're right.

And if you're going to

stay here, things are gonna

be different from now on.

No more naked stuff.

Well, it felt natural

to be naked. I...

I don't care!

Okay.

I do not care.

Clean up after yourself,

watch the noise,

try to help out

around the house, please?

It's not too much to ask.

You're right.

Carl? I can be really helpful

when I set my mind to it.

And that's what I'm gonna do.

Oh, and...

Another thing.

Would you mind writing

some thank-you notes for me?

Okay.

Yeah. That'd be great.

Try to get some sleep.

Gut-check time, Dupree.

(TRAIN IN VAIN PLAYING)

(GROANING)

"Dear Aunt Kathy.

"Thank you so much

for the wine glasses."

(PANTING)

And this, of course,

is the point of the race

(PHONE RINGING)

where speed will play

a major factor,

where long months of training

certainly pay off:

Hello?

Yeah, Dupree.

I'm gonna need you

to do me a solid.

Yeah, no problem.

What do you got?

I promised Molly

I would give this Career Day

presentation today at 1:00.

But her father just dropped

a big one on me,

so I'm gonna need you

to step in and fill in for me.

Can you do that?

I don't know, Carl.

I don't know

the first thing about

the development business.

I really think Mr. Thompson

might find me in over my head.

No, not the development

business. School, Dupree.

to fill in for me

at Molly's school:

No, no, no. Not this time.

What?

No, no, I'm talking

to Lance Armstrong.

He's trying to break away

from the pack.

I got him, though.

Will you quit dicking around

with your little Huffy bike

and listen to me?

Hey, Molly.

Dupree, what are you doing?

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