Your Friends & Neighbors Page #2

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Put some garnishes on?

Yeah, put them on.

Can I just get in touch with you?

Why? You wanna talk?

- Or...

- No.

I'd like to get together with you.

Oh... For...

I mean, we could talk.

Talking, actually would be nice also.

- This is... I mean...

- I know.

If I have to wait a year to see you

and chat over cherry, what, mousse...

I just don't...

You tell me.

I know I'm taking a chance here but...

- Sorry we took so long.

- Yeah, we just got to talking.

- Wow, look at this.

- Wine?

This is like...

You made this?

You're not going to believe

what this woman can do with a cherry.

- Thank you. What a great day.

- Yeah, it was fun.

- Let me walk you to the corner.

- I'll hit the bathroom before I go.

- You remember where it is?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Don't splash. Remember it's doe skin.

- Right. I'll see you guys out there.

May 10th. That's the last time

I saw you. I remember it exactly.

- I remember the date, the time.

- You remember the...

You were wearing a red skirt.

- And a white...

- Blouse.

And you were just such a knockout.

I'm just so...

Why are you doing this?

Because I'm... I'm just...

Tell me you thought about me

because I can't stop thinking about you.

I wanna hold you.

I've thought about you.

Call me tomorrow.

- Hey, are you ready?

- Hey.

Just coming. I borrowed a book. Camus.

Oh, great. Perfect.

It'll really set off the rest.

You have bookshelves in your bathroom.

I'm lucky enough to.

It was great to see you guys again.

We should do something, just you and me.

- We always say that but...

- That'd be great. Later this week?

Really? Lunch maybe?

Great.

We should get together more often.

Right. I can't believe

it was May the last time.

God, it's unbelievable.

- See you.

- Bye.

Bye.

Three-minute cool-down.

It's actually a shitty place to run.

It's a nice, old gym.

It's quiet but there's no girls around.

That's why we can't get in here

during the week.

- I left a message.

- F***.

- He's busy.

- Right.

- Papers to grade. What a life.

- True.

He's the smart one.

- It's humid today.

- No sh*t.

F***ing boiling.

Even with that AC on, you sweat

your dick off, have a heart attack.

Do you wanna meet later?

- Why? We just ran.

- I've got that corporate membership.

- So?

- I can get you in.

Hey, I don't need anybody to get me in.

Especially with those office a**holes

at lunchtime.

- No offence. I hate that.

- Hold on a second.

That's all I'm saying.

I'm saying there's a lot of women there.

So?

Are you expecting me to change

my routine for those people? Fat chance.

Ladies want to see us,

they'll quit their designer workouts

and drag their fat cans

over here and run, OK?

Even though I think this is

a f***ed place to exercise, I do it.

- To spite them.

- Who?

Everybody.

Hi.

- How are you?

- Fine, thanks.

Is this a part of a collection

or is it...

No, it's just a single piece.

- Nice, isn't it?

- Very.

- First time here?

- Hm-mm. You?

No, I work here.

- Work? Really? Are you an artist?

- No. Artist's assistant.

You mean a secretary, right?

Yeah, that's exactly what I mean. You?

- Writer.

- Oh. Anything I might have...

Not unless you read

the sides of your tampon box.

What brand? I like to keep up.

- Advertising, right?

- Yeah.

- That's great.

- Especially if you're a tampon.

No, it...

It's nice to be good at anything.

- Who said I was good?

- I'm guessing.

This really is a lovely piece.

Yeah, it is.

Can I buy you lunch?

Honey. Should I go for the...

What's this called, loden? Or the...

Er, yeah. No, the salmon, I think.

Yeah, he's right here.

No, I mean in the house. Yeah.

No, I don't want to put him on.

Please, stop.

I have to go. He's coming. Yeah.

OK, yeah, it was good

talking to you too. All right. Bye-bye.

- Who was that?

- Your best friend.

I just talked to him 20 minutes ago.

He didn't want to talk to me?

I told him I'd be there.

I'm the one who invited him.

- Is that pink?

- This? No, it's salmon.

You might wanna put that jacket back on.

Why?

- Where'd you get it?

- My wife gave it to me.

Enough said.

It's past 11.

Where the f*** is everybody?

So, how did this thing turn out?

She say she made a mistake or...

Oh. No. That.

No, I f***ed her.

Complete revenge f***

which are always the best.

Really? You... I mean...

I don't kid about sh*t like that.

She questioned a decision

I made at work so, you know.

- I had to.

- Sure.

Anyway, I wine her a little,

I dine her a touch.

Get her back to my place.

So, we're in bed.

This just seemed like a good time

to call back.

I wanted to call back.

No, he's over

on the other side of the room

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Yes, I'll be there. It was my idea.

Of course I'll be there.

What do you have on?

No, I don't mean music.

What are you wearing?

I slip my cock out, right?

I mean, completely jerk it right out.

And I turn her back over,

kinda rough, by her hair.

I tell her,

"Get the f*** outta my place."

If she ever does that to a guy again,

crosses one of us in public,

I'll f***ing kill her.

I think she believed me.

Jesus.

- You're not making this up?

- F***, no. This happened.

I'm not one to be messed with.

I don't give a sh*t about anybody.

This is my life.

- Oh. Sh*t. Do you want me to...

- No.

Anyway, I got a letter in the mail.

This was a couple of weeks ago.

Full apology.

She even had one

put in my personnel file.

It was enough to let me know

that I was justified in what I did.

Oh, man.

- What do you want to do?

- Has he told you this story?

No, but I'm sure it's great.

- How would you know that?

- It's incredible.

You'd have taken the same steps.

Common decency dictated the whole thing.

Who cares? It's a sickness anyway.

- What is?

- All of it.

Relationships. Caring.

Love's a disease.

You know, it really is.

Yeah, but it's curable.

- Who said that again?

- I don't remember her name.

It's true though, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

I'm glad you called.

I'm glad you were home.

I have no idea what happened.

Some thing happened and I don't know

what it was but she just turned on me.

Come on.

She says I talk, OK?

I'm a talker.

I'm accused of speaking.

F*** me, you know.

I mean, we're screwing for Christ's

sake. We're screwing around.

There's supposed

to be some improvisation.

Isn't there? Jesus.

So, now I... I don't speak. I...

I hold my breath, make love like

we're in a nursing home and she laughs.

Oh, man.

I don't know what to...

You're staying together, right?

I don't know. I suppose.

I mean, we split the rent.

We bought a TV,

a huge f***ing bed.

We have investments in this

and I still have feeling there.

Hey, thanks for the ear.

You guys just go, have a good time.

- I appreciate the tip. It sounds great.

- Yeah, it's nice.

- Kinda romantic.

- Uh-huh.

- Say hi to the wife for me, would you?

- Sure.

Why would I even categorize something

as the best that I've had?

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