Your Friends & Neighbors Page #3

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That's, that's just absurd.

OK. OK.

I do not store up little sexual tidbits.

No. Not at all.

- Really?

- Come on.

Even though I probably should.

Make a good freelance piece.

But I don't...

I mean, not that there...

Not that there hasn't been a good one.

Or two.

Or that I haven't had a best... f***.

God, I hate that word. Anyway...

Or anything like that. I have.

I'm sure I have.

I just have to reach back, that's all.

Call it up.

Hi.

- How are you?

- Fine, thanks.

Great.

Is this part of a collection or is it...

No, it's just a single piece.

- Nice, isn't it?

- Very.

- First time here?

- Uh-huh.

- You?

- No, I work here.

- Work. Really? You're an artist?

- No, artist's assistant.

That's terrific.

Listen, I'm gonna be open with you.

I spotted you outside.

You're really great looking.

Maybe we could get a drink or something.

What time are you off?

I bet you're tremendous in bed.

Who's she kidding? Artist's assistant.

I just think we have to keep trying.

I know it's me but we gotta keep at it.

We are gonna open some floodgates here.

I hear what you're saying,

but how about later, OK?

I just think we need to do it...

more often. Not make it so special.

I mean, it'll be special

when it happens.

Is this really the best place for this?

- Do we need vitamin C?

- No, we have enough.

Wanna get some tissue?

I just think right now we need

to treat each other like... meat.

Right? Didn't we read that?

You need to see me as...

a big... a penis.

And you need to be

this huge vagina to me.

It was your book.

What time you got to go to that meeting?

- Hello.

- Hi.

I wasn't sure...

You know, changing the time and all.

No, I'm glad you called.

Yeah, I thought I'd pick somewhere

a little more out of the way.

Yeah, this was a good choice.

- You look great.

- Thanks.

I wore the burgundy that...

That's the skirt.

Was this OK to meet a bit earlier?

Yeah, I just cancelled a seminar.

It's no big thing.

- God, you just look so...

- Good.

I mean, it's erm...

It's nice that you'd do that for me.

So, erm...

- How's, er...

- Don't ask about him.

I mean, if you were going to.

That's just the one thing I don't...

Sorry. He's my friend, that's all.

No, I know,

and I had lunch this week with...

- Right.

- I don't want to conjure them up now.

Yeah, you're right.

Just...

Could you just please...

hold me?

Sure.

It's really too bad.

I wish he'd join us.

I tried his office. No answer.

He teaches a couple of blocks over.

I hardly see him any more.

We get together once in a while.

He calls...

- He calls but I don't see him much.

- Me neither.

That b*tch probably doesn't give him

half our messages.

Anyhow, I think he's seeing somebody.

What?

- No. You mean other than his...

- I guess.

He's vague. You know how he is.

The guy's nothing if not vague.

But he said something.

- When was this?

- He alluded to it.

Just a reference but I caught it.

Wow.

The guy thinks he's Byron.

I've always said that.

Yes, you have.

I never really liked her.

She's nice enough but...

Me neither. That time I met her...

- There's something...

- Just a touch unfeminine?

Is that it? Yeah, I caught it.

I dunno, it's something.

- It'll get him out of his rut.

- Maybe he'll join us.

If she's young, he'll have to.

Even if she's not,

intrigue makes that heart pound.

Yes, it does.

What's your ideal...

- What?

- My ideal f***?

Yeah.

Could we use another name, please?

- What name?

- Is there another name?

Seriously.

Do you mind if I record this?

It's just, erm... It's very...

This place is OK.

Yeah, my boyfriend told me about it.

I still like it.

OK, go ahead.

Testing, testing.

I just know that when I'm making love

to someone, that's what I'm there for.

No matter what else is going on with us.

Right, but... What about with...

- Are you kidding?

- You guys have been together for...

Especially him.

With college professors you get

a critical evaluation on everything.

I'm sure he rates me on the Bell Curve.

See, for me, when I'm with a person,

I figure at that moment I'm doing it

because I want to be doing it.

I don't really wanna chat, you know.

And I could give a sh*t

how they like the sound of my name.

No, but...

Any talking at all just kills it for me.

Maybe it's just me,

but f***ing is f***ing.

It's not a time for sharing.

I don't care what anybody says.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

Oh.

See, I didn't make a peep.

Wasn't that great?

I'm really glad

I rushed home from rehearsal.

Next time you get an urge

and I bust my ass getting back here,

do you think you could

possibly add a little movement?

Just to get the whole claymation feel.

What's the matter with you lately?

I do everything you ask

and you're still not satisfied.

I know.

Put it on the Visa, OK?

- I feel optimistic, don't you?

- Yeah.

Why couldn't this work, right?

I mean, if we...

Yeah, it might,

but let's not talk about it.

OK. I just keep

going over it all in my head.

Hang on one second, all right?

Hey, could you do me a favor?

Could you put it on this one instead?

Thanks.

I just thought with the...

I could put it on the school card.

Yeah, I know.

I really, I do feel optimistic.

Well, I'm glad.

You're married to him.

He got there first. I understand that.

But so what?

I mean, that's nothing.

It's like, it's like, er... erm... er...

It's not destiny. It's not law.

Is it? It's just like...

It's just chance, really.

It's not a big deal.

I mean, I see you here with me...

I don't know, I feel...

It feels like fate.

- I just feel very, very...

- Optimistic.

I think he needs you to...

Hey, we don't have to do this now

if you don't want to.

No, no, no. I want to.

I think.

Er...

Let's just not go over it so much.

- It just kinda makes me feel...

- Right. OK.

Thank you.

It's never been like this. Never.

I know that sounds like I'm covering

or... cos this is like... whatever.

This is not me. I'm much more...

hard or...

firm than this.

I just hope we're not blaming here.

Because I've never had this...

Hey, do you mind looking up?

Could you just tell me,

do you feel that it was me?

Huh?

Do you mind?

This is really kind of important.

I just... Cos things were... Everything

was going well downstairs in the lobby,

I mean, I felt really...

Is it my imagination?

I think we both got a little...

Is it, is it me? Cos...

All right, forget it.

It's not a big deal. All right?

I mean, in essence

we're really without sin here.

It's kinda like we're

Adam and Eve in the Garden.

We haven't really made a mistake yet.

Just...

We'll still be good friends.

Please don't.

All right, I just... You know...

- We could maybe still...

- No.

Come on.

Just... Just go away.

OK?

- Maybe we could just...

- Please don't say any more.

Should I be more tender now?

Add some sweetness?

Yeah, I feel special coming inside you.

- I'm serious.

- I'm serious.

I feel special.

Hi.

- How are you?

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