Yours, Mine and Ours Page #8

- That's it.

Would you care to check it?

How could you decide something

like that without asking us?

Colleen, we thought you children

would be happy to be adopted.

Happy to forget

our real father's name?

- Get lost in a jungle full of Beardsleys?

- Now, just a minute.

Mother, that's the most awful thing

I've ever heard.

He's gone a year,

and you're trying to wipe him...

...out of your life

as if he never existed.

And I thought you loved him.

- I like Beardsley.

- You be quiet!

- And no, I don't want any dessert.

- I'll take his.

Sorry, I didn't think I was

committing a federal offence.

Thought they'd want me for a father.

Yeah, well, now you know

what they think of you.

Stay out of it.

It's their problem.

Now, wait a minute, Rosemary.

It's not just their problem.

I was planning on adopting

all you children too.

- Was that part of the deal?

- Yes.

I thought everybody understood that.

We want this to be one family.

Excuse me.

- What's the matter with him?

- What do you think?

I gotta do my homework.

Homework? He's really shook.

Why shouldn't he be?

We loved our mother just as much

as they loved their father.

I know that, Rosemary.

And now you're asking us

to bury her again?

Who's getting buried?

- Come on, we'll get you washed.

- Excuse me.

I can't eat if everybody's gonna cry!

Frank, how could we have been

so wrong?

- I feel like a murderer.

- Merry Christmas, everybody!

Merry, merry, merry...

Merry.

What a let- down.

I walked in here,

full of the old Christmas spirit...

...ready to tell you the good news,

and it's a disaster area.

What's the good news?

I could use some right now.

- Didn't Frank tell you?

- No.

Didn't you know you married Edison,

the man?

- I am?

- That Fresnel- lens landing system...

...Frank and I worked on

has been accepted by the Navy.

- Frank, that's wonderful!

- It's only been accepted for testing.

Well, it's going on shake- down

on the Big E.

- Hey, that's cool.

- When are you taking it out?

I'm not taking it out.

Since your father is anchored here,

I volunteered to handle it for him.

But, Dad,

how come you're not taking it out?

It just might be I felt it wasn't right

to leave my family.

But a shake- down,

that's only a couple of weeks.

You always used to.

- Well, things are a little different now.

- That stinks.

- That really stinks.

- I'd rather not talk about it, okay?

Big mouth.

- Frank.

- You really sank the Navy, didn't you?

- Frank.

- Yeah?

You really do wanna go to sea again,

don't you?

I'm not going to pretend.

There's no halo on me.

Sure, I suppose I'm a little envious

of Darrell.

But when I signed on for this cruise,

I knew it was for the duration.

You make me feel

as if I'm World War III.

Well, you shouldn't.

Helen, I want you to know something,

if you don't already know it.

I'm happier than I've ever been

in my life.

I've already gotten

what I want for Christmas.

Thank you.

- I'm glad you adopted me.

- So am I.

He's been here! He's been here!

Santa Claus has been here!

Santa Claus has been here.

Santa Claus has been here.

Santa Claus has been here.

Santa Claus has been here.

- Santa Claus!

- Let me out!

Get out!

Let me get to the Christmas tree!

Let me out!

I wanna get to the Christmas tree!

Frank! Frank, where are you?

You're missing Christmas!

Frank!

Frank! Where are you?

You're missing everything.

Frank, you're missing it!

Where are you?

Frank, what are you doing in here?

- I'm an elf.

- But you haven't been to bed at all.

I've had six scooters, three wagons,

a fire engine. This is the last bicycle.

- General Motors couldn't have kept up.

- Well, hurry up, dear.

Does anybody know where

the package is for your dad?

- The red- and-white package.

- Here it is!

- Oh, thank you, darling. Thank you.

- Hey, what do you know?

Santa Claus brought so many presents

he had to leave some in the closet.

Does it have my name on it?

For Phillip North?

I wrote him my legal name.

I didn't want any trouble.

Let's see, it says

" Phillip North Beardsley. "

- That takes care of the situation.

- Oh, boy!

It had my name on it, all right.

We'll get an elf over here

to fix it up. Greg.

Get off it, darling. He'll fix it.

- You're not an elf.

- Well, I'm practising.

All right, come on.

Frank, this is for you.

Well, go ahead, open it.

- Mommy, look what I got!

- That's beautiful, darling.

Susan, don't eat the ornaments

off the tree until later.

I think Santa Claus made a mistake.

Maybe this is for Tommy, huh?

No, dear, I think this is for you.

- I don't get it.

- Bon voyage.

What are you talking about?

Everybody else got what they really

wanted for Christmas. Why not you?

- Dad can go on the Enterprise?

- That's great!

Just a minute. Did it ever occur

to anybody that I might know...

...where my duty lies and prefer

to stay here, look after my family...?

Complain for a few more minutes,

dear, before you agree.

I'm gonna answer the phone.

- Lf she thinks I have any intention of...

- How long?

About six weeks.

Well, when are we gonna sing

Christmas carols, huh?

Doctor, this is Christmas,

not April Fool. Are you sure?

My dear Mrs. Beardsley, the reason

I am in my office on Christmas Day...

...is because I wanted

to check the lab report personally.

You do not have indigestion,

ileitis or diverticulitis.

What you have is a simple case

of pregnancy.

P-R-E-G...

Doctor, if anybody knows

how to spell it, I do.

- Thanks for calling.

- Merry Christmas.

- Who was it?

- Wrong number.

And so the skipper

went back to sea...

...protesting until the ship

was out of hearing.

Darling, always the same,

days speed by...

...but the nights go very slowly.

You missed a wonderful day today.

Susan stopped eating.

A boy invited her to her first dance,

and she insisted on buying this dress.

As you can see by the picture...

...she's still got a few pounds

to go before Saturday night.

Oh, what we girls go through

for our men.

Dearest mother of 18:

Military security being what it is,

I can't tell you where we are...

...but the enclosed photograph

of Darrell and me...

...may give you some idea.

I'm the sexy one.

Mike's letter was from the president

of the United States.

It said, "Greetings..."

Deep breath. Hold it. Exhale.

That's fine, son. Name.

- Michael Francis Beardsley.

- Hello, Mike.

Hi, doc. What are you doing

at the draft board?

Sacrificing one afternoon a week

for my country.

- How's your mother feeling?

- You mean my stepmother.

She's fine, I guess.

- No morning sickness?

- No, doc, I feel fine.

Not you, your mother.

Now, why should she have...?

Morning sickness!

- We need a sample of your blood.

- Take it all.

Hi, Mike.

How did the physical go?

Well, they took inventory.

I had enough parts.

Mike, how do you really feel

about the whole thing?

Yeah, I understand.

Where are the girls?

Should you do that?

Why shouldn't I?

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