Yours, Mine And Ours Page #3

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- Jump-start?

Yeah.

Look, grab about a quart of sun block.

I have a plan.

Okay.

So, everyone,

what do you think of the my way?

Who's gonna sail this thing?

We, the beardsley family, sail it...

while you guys, i'm guessing, hang out

in the cabin and pick your noses.

No, we are all going to sail it...

working together like

the many tentacles of an octopus...

guided by one brain.

My children have separate brains,

frank.

It's just a figure of speech.

- No, it isn't.

- Hey, trust me.

One hour at sea together,

gonna be best friends.

Okay, prepare to come about!

- Coming about!

- Come a what?

Look out!

Wasn't anybody listening...

when i gave my briefing

about standard nautical procedure?

I have sunscreen in my eye, sweetie.

Oh, well, let's go below.

We'll wash it out.

- William, take the wheel.

- Aye, aye, sir.

- Mrs. Munion, you have the kids.

- No problem.

Get that camera away from me.

But i'm capturing

the vrit of life at sea.

How about capturing my fist

in your face?

Hey!

Look, otter peed in his pants.

No, i didn't. That's just water.

It doesn't smell like water.

I'm gonna go tell our dad.

- I'm gonna tell my mom.

- I'm gonna tell my mom.

I don't feel so good.

Just keep your eye on the horizon.

I'll get you some ginger ale.

- Kelly, get ready to feed the sail.

- Aye, aye.

What are you doing? Come on, watch it.

Raise the jib!

Hey! Get me down! Get me down!

Okay, get me down from here,

you freaks!

- Such a loser.

- Oh, yeah?

Let's see how funny you think this is

from the water.

- He's gonna kill me.

- Stop it!

You better run for it.

Oh, gross!

- What's going on?

- Coming about!

William! Come about!

- William!

- What's going on?

I'm fine, sweetie.

Is this standard nautical procedure?

No.

Oops, missed a little spot right there.

What's the matter?

I'm just giving up on my dream

of having an all-family sailing team.

Well, look on the bright side.

You got to spend the day

at sea with me.

Yeah. Yeah, that was okay.

That was okay? That was okay?

- I'll show you okay.

- Oh, yeah?

We can hear that.

No, you can't.

Maybe if we're really, really quiet. Okay?

A little quieter.

No, i like hearing their voices.

It helps me sleep.

Well, i like quiet. Now shut up.

- Why don't you shut up, loser?

- "Shut up" is a bad word.

Maybe if we're really, really, really...

quiet. Yeah.

This family is nuts.

Maybe if we had a door that worked.

Yeah. Tomorrow.

Mom!

Make her stop!

That noise!

Hey, reveille! Reveille! It's 6:05!

Time to get up!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Move it, move it, move it!

Oh, my god. Who's killing a goat?

All right. These are your schedules

with latrine times.

You get seven minutes each.

Do not waste it.

Why do i suddenly feel

like i'm in prison?

Fashion police caught up with you?

Snap! Up top, girlfriend!

- Why the drill, admiral?

- It's not a drill, william.

We have doubled our force.

That calls for increased coordination.

Don't worry,

you'll soon be doing this in your sleep.

I am asleep.

- Can someone pass the hash browns?

- Hey, guys, give me that cereal.

Kelly, can you

please give me a pancake?

I don't want any.

Bacon, please.

Thank you.

Wait, i want that.

- Butter. I love butter.

- Come on.

Give me the syrup, please.

Does somebody want

to eat my oatmeal?

I'm sorry, william.

Is that your homework?

Listen up!

Before you go to school,

there's one thing we need to do.

- Everybody ready?

- Yeah.

- Hi, you've reached frank.

- Helen.

- Harry.

- Bina.

- Naoko.

- Michael.

- Aldo.

- Joni.

- Phoebe.

- William.

- Otter.

- Ely.

- Christina.

- Ethan.

- Mick.

- Oh!

Hey, are you the freaks?

I heard you have, like,

No, we just have 16.

- Nasty.

- Dude, i hear they all sleep in drawers!

And they're so poor, they all

have to share one pair of underpants!

Eighteen kids!

Man, that's like the brady bunch!

Times three. Wait!

Party of five times three,

plus my three sons.

What? I like math.

Yeah. Won't we, like... oh, my...

- hey.

- Hi.

And all the pieces fit

and everything was bright

unbelievable. Not only do i

have to listen to it at home...

but i'm forced to catch the road show.

Well, not all music

needs back-up dancers.

Just the good music.

- Hey.

- Hey!

Forget about it.

What are you talking about?

Look, i've known nick for years.

He's cute, but totally shallow.

Then again, maybe he is your type.

Where's the admiral?

I'm lodging a formal complaint

against phoebe. She stinks!

He's probably out

dreaming up new ways to ruin our lives.

This is so ridiculous!

Just because he got married,

we all have to suffer.

Not necessarily.

Okay, what are you doing

on dad's computer?

Just making a few changes

to the schedule.

Unauthorized, of course.

Now this i can live with.

Come on! I have to get ready for school.

Your face isn't big enough

to hold that much makeup.

Get a watch, hippie chick. It's my time.

She's right. Our time was first.

No way.

I checked the schedule last night.

Those evil preppies

must have changed it.

- We should pound them!

- Yeah.

Kick their butts.

To me, nothing says

"time to get out of the bathroom" like...

fire!

Hey, what's going on?

Watch your backs.

- Where's the fire?

- Be quick. Go downstairs!

Outside, outside.

On the grass. On the grass.

Everyone, let's go!

Okay, out the door, out the door.

Go! Get out, get out, get out!

- Victory to the north kids!

- Yeah.

Guys, guys!

Come on, let's go watch them!

- Nice towel, christina.

- Yeah, cute boxers, william.

- You guys are so dead.

- At least we'll be clean.

Can i get the two of you guys

closer together?

- Naoko, what are you doing?

- Webcasting.

Say cheese.

Come on, guys.

This is our talking stick.

And this is a "no judgment circle."

So whoever has the stick...

may express themselves

without fear or interruption.

So, william, why don't you begin?

Go ahead.

Just, you know, say what you need to.

Wait.

One of you must have something to say.

Okay, if i can interrupt...

i'll take the talking stick.

Okay, i have something to say.

In the interest

of making this house a home...

i have come up with a little chore chart.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- Is this a joke?

Charts are never a joke

with the admiral.

Look, mom, we gotta go.

We're gonna be late.

- Let's go.

- Yeah, let's get out of here.

Whoa! Whoa!

I want you all home right after school...

because we have to go out

and requisition supplies.

- Dismissed.

- Let's go.

That's a nice chart, frank.

Looks like you put a lot of work into it.

And this is definitely one of a kind.

Give me that.

That was a disaster.

Well, at least there's no blood. Yet.

- What are you doing?

- Hey, christina.

You lied to me.

You said he was a loser.

- He is a loser.

- Hey!

- A very hot loser.

- Cool.

Thanks for the warning, sis.

I'll be sure to return the favor,

first chance i get.

She seems sweet.

Hey, admiral,

will you build me and aldo a sandbox?

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