Yours, Mine And Ours Page #4

Year:
2005
1,892 Views


Well, sure, once we get further along

with the house.

Yay, a sandbox!

Okay, blue team, spackle.

Red team, insulation.

- You guys, stop that!

- I didn't hit you.

- Hey.

- Give it back.

You want the ball? Go get it.

- Where'd it go?

- Let's go get it!

Hey, buddy, would you give me a hand?

- It's mine.

- No, it's mine.

- It's mine.

- Mine.

- Mine.

- I want it! It's my ball!

Give it back.

- Hi, dad.

- Hi, dad.

- How do you stop this thing?

- Otter?

I don't know!

Otter!

- Turn the wheel!

- Ely! Hey!

Whoa, stop!

Stop! Hey, hit the brake! Hit the brake!

What, this one? Where is the brake?

I don't know.

Pull that lever! I can't reach it! Pull it!

- The other lever!

- It's this one!

The other one. The other lever!

It's the other lever.

- No, it's this one.

- Oh, no!

Otter! Pull the lever! Pull the lever!

The other one! The other lever!

Pull the...

- what will we do?

- Get off it!

Otter, ely!

- Admiral, you okay?

- Where are the boys?

- Where are the boys?

- What?

- Where are the boys?

- I don't know.

Otter!

Stop! Stop!

Yay, a sandbox!

- How's it going?

- Good.

I ordered us a part that'll have us

up and running in no time.

You sure are putting a lot of effort

into fixing that big old light bulb.

A lighthouse without a light

is just a house.

And that's a problem because...

have i ever told you the story

of the beautiful lighthouse keeper?

The beautiful lighthouse keeper? No.

I think i would have remembered that.

Well, once upon a time,

there was a beautiful lighthouse keeper.

Wait, wait.

I thought that lighthouse keepers...

were old men in yellow raincoats

with long white beards.

Oh, no. This one was a real hottie.

- She had long red hair. She was tall...

- yeah.

...and her body, it was the bomb.

Anyway, her man was a sailor.

Oh, i love sailors.

And he was afraid that she'd find

someone else whenever he was away.

- No.

- So she said to him...

"as long as that light up there is lit...

"my heart will always be yours."

So, from then on,

whenever he was away at sea...

he could just look back

and he'd see that light...

and he knew

that his true love still cared.

- Frank?

- Yes, my beautiful lighthouse keeper.

We're doing the right thing, aren't we?

- We've had a bumpy start.

- Yeah.

Come here,

i wanna show you something.

- Okay.

- Look.

Okay.

See that? That's the buddy system.

We're jelling as a family,

even as we speak.

Yeah. You know, it just might work.

- You have to turn it over.

- I know, lau.

- Thicker, kelly, thicker.

- I know.

Otter and ely, playing outside.

Ethan, aldo, playing inside.

Marisa and bina...

- can we plant flowers?

- A garden?

I think planting a garden

would be lovely.

- Yay, a garden!

- Flowers are going to be fun.

So that leaves time for a little drive.

I have this romantic spot

i've been wanting to take you to.

I'll get my keys.

Mrs. Munion, would you mind

watching the little kids for a while?

Oh, sure. They'll be in full lockdown.

- Good.

- Well, lockdown won't be necessary.

Just check in on them

every now and then.

We'll be back. Mrs. Munion's in charge.

Finally, a moment alone.

Excuse me.

Sorry. We're with quality control.

- Products testing.

- I'm sorry. Oh, my god!

- Just leave it. Come on.

- I'm so sorry.

- I'm really, really sorry.

- Let's try that one.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Better yet, let's go look at sofas.

Why do i have to do all this work

just to live with these jerks?

Well, what do you suggest?

What, are you gonna

drop a stink bomb on them?

Just watch the master.

- Hey!

- Watch it, jerk.

Loser!

- Goofer.

- Hey, get back here.

- You did not just splatter me with paint.

- What are you talking about?

- You did not just splatter me with paint.

- What are you talking about?

Is that my shirt?

The one that you just got paint on?

Yeah, thank god.

- Take it off.

- Hey!

- How dare you?

- Don't...

- stop it.

...wear my clothes.

- Hey, it's not a construction pit.

- You're not the boss of us.

Oh, yeah?

- Get them! Get them!

- Take this.

- Hey, that's my rescue hero.

- I want it.

- Give it back.

- Ow!

Loser! Hit him with the chair!

What's that noise?

Losers!

My wallpaper!

- Hey, what's going on?

- Now you guys are all in trouble.

You're going down, jimi!

Stop! Stop! Hey, guys!

Stop! Hey!

Hey, stop!

Guys!

Whoa! Stop!

You wrecked the house,

you trashed the yard...

and you painted the pig.

You turned a 200-year-old panel foyer

into a jackson...

- pollock.

- Pollock!

- It was her fault for wearing my shirt...

- i am not finished!

Now, your mother and i know

that you do not get along.

But you're just going

to have to pretend...

that you like each other

until you actually do.

And until you have learned

why we think that you are all...

till you...

until you've learned

why we think you're all so terrific...

we demand a level of civility

and cooperation...

or i will bring the hammer down.

- Is it a real hammer?

- No, no. That's just a metaphor.

- I'm scared.

- Don't be scared, aldo. Don't be scared.

- I am.

- Should i go get the hammer, sir?

It's not a real hammer.

It's just a pretend hammer.

I only said that for effect.

Now, we'd like you

to all think about what we just said.

Except for maybe

the part about the hammer.

Yeah, forget the hammer. Let's just...

let's just get started

cleaning this place up.

But first, let's have a group hug.

- Come on.

- Okay.

- Good, good.

- You mean...

- actually hug each other?

- Yeah, that's what i mean. Come on.

Frank.

Yeah. Well...

gang, let's get in

on this group-hug thing.

Come on, let's...

that's an order. Come on.

There you go.

Can't you feel the love, honey?

Okay, everybody.

It's time that we call a truce.

- No way.

- Over my dead body.

We need to unite

against a greater enemy.

And that enemy's name

is mom and dad.

What are you talking about?

He's saying

we are all totally incompatible...

but our parents don't seem to care.

Exactly. Guys, we're all in this together.

Some of us are in it together...

and some of us are busy

cornering the boyfriend market.

You stole my shirt.

Now we're even, cheerleader.

Come on, guys,

none of us likes this situation.

But if we want out, then we gotta

stop fighting and get them to start.

- Really?

- How are we gonna do that?

Easy. Who knows what drives

our parents crazy better than we do?

Helen!

- Hey, i wanna do it!

- I wanna do it!

Washington,

this is soldiers' morning update.

This morning...

sports talk 640

and the patriots are going for a three.

Oh, no, no.

Guys, where are the baby greens?

It looks like frank did some shopping.

What is that smell? My god.

- That's barbaric.

- Is that a liver?

Well, shall we get some tea?

That would be lovely.

I love tea in the afternoon.

I love tea, but we have to boil it.

Helen!

Atten-hut!

Right shoulder arms!

Right face!

Forward arms!

- Ready!

- Looking good, men.

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Ron Burch

Ron Burch is an American writer whose work spans television, film, plays, short fiction and novels. His movies include Head over Heels , Yours, Mine and Ours and Ferdinand. He is the executive producer/showrunner (along with David Kidd) of the DreamWorks Animation TV show Dinotrux. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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