Zack and Miri Make a Porno Page #9

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people f***ing.

Sometimes..

We just need someone to

show us something

We can't see for ourselves.

And it will change for ever.

So as you can see,

our movie ain't got no ending.

And every movie needs an ending, don't it?

Thanks.

Delaney, you're a slick cupid mother f***er

Ain't love grand?

- Why the f*** is this white boy

doing in our God damn house?

Sometimes.

-No, get out!

- I'm sorry.. Close the door for once.

-It was closed over

- Just close the f***ing door, Zack

I never slept with Stacey that night,

okay? I swear to God.

But when we got into my room, you know

what we did? We talked about you

And us

And how things were different and

how I was too much of a f***ing p*ssy

To just tell you how I felt about you.

And I know, I know that's only because

of all the stupid sh*t we said about

how we wouldn't let sex change us,

but it did

It changed me.

That has to be love, right?

It has to be love, and..

Just so you know, I can't go back

being just friends anymore

because..

I just can't.

And I think you feel the same way.

Because that night after I left,

you didn't f*** Lester

What's up, Zack?

You know what? I do not care

that you're f***ing Lester, okay?

How's that? Because I don't wanna

be with anyone but you

So I will wait for ever for you, okay?

I will wait the rest of my life.

Because I love you and I have

for as long as I can remember

And I would rather die than be

without you, Miriam Linky.

Miri's lastname is Linky?

You're gonna f*** a guy who

doesn't know your lastname?

Or that you beat Cole Rothen

in the sixth grade? - I know that

Or what your senior prom dress

would've looked like,

had we gone, but we decided not

to and we got drunk alone instead.

Or that you wash your hair

in the toilet.

-We're not f***ing, Zack

- Or that you're not f***ing Zack

-What?

- Yeah I mean, I asked her to f*** me

but she wouldn't do it.

Then I even tried to talk her in

to give me the f***ing Dutch Rider

Shut me down on that, too.

-And the Dutch Rider is..?

- You don't know what Dutch Rider is?

Oh look, you grab your dick, and then

you have someone else work you arm

Let me show you

You grab my arm, I'll grab my dick

You grab my arm

now work it. Work my arm.

See that sh*t?

Work it up and down.

See? It's like someone else

striking you off.

And of course, there's the

double Dutch Rider.

Which I grab my dick, you grab

your dick,

you work my arm, I'll

work your arm.

Same time

Same time, it's like jerking off

together but not gay

We're not touching d*cks

Each other's d*cks anyway,

I'm touching my own dick.

You're working it, and I'm

loving it.

It feels good. Try me, come on.

Sorry to change the subject on

you Lester, but

If you're not f***ing Miri, why

is your dick out right now?

Cause I live here now and I like to be naked.

- Huh?

When you moved out, she couldn't afford

to pay the rent by herself

so I moved in to help.

- But who's keeping her room?

That's my room now, she moved in your

old room.

She changed rooms?

Yeah, she said she did it, cause

she missed the smell of yours or some sh*t.

I don't smell anything.

But you know what? That probably

means she loves you.

-Goodnight, Zack

- Good night

Do you?

-Why are you crying?

- Because I missed you so much!

I love you.

-I love you, I love you

- I love you

I don't mean to alarm you, but

I think I just jerked off Lester

a little bit.

-The Dutch Rider?

- Yeah, it's genius, right?

If you ask me that, I say I will Dutch

Rider you for the rest of our lives.

Oh, good.

I'm getting tired of f***ing

the flash light.

-You f***ed it?

- Yeah.

-How did it feel like?

- Feels like f***ing a flash light.

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