Zerophilia Page #11

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77.

He gazes at Luca, a pang of guilt. He sits on the bed,

speaks softly.

MALE SYDNEY (CONT'D)

I know you don't believe me, but

this is the right thing for you.

Eventually, you'll figure that on

your own. But I could tell it was

just gonna' take way too long!

Luca stares, distraught.

MALE SYDNEY (CONT'D)

Oh, for Chris' sake. Being a woman

doesn't make you any less of a man!

The entire bed LURCHES back and forth as Luca struggles.

Male Sydney winces, pangs of guilt, which turn to anger...

MALE SYDNEY (CONT'D)

Damnit! I can't live my whole LIFE

wrong 'cause of one stupid mistake!

I'm a man! I love havin' this

chest, these arms! But most of

all,...

(grabs his pant crotch)

Welcome home, boys! Hang in there,

I'm takin' you out for a SPIN!

LATER:

Luca lies alone in the room, bound and gagged on the bed.

A KNOCK at the door.

Luca MOANS and tries to YELL through her gagged mouth.

The KNOCK PERSISTS.

SIDE WINDOW:

The ivy parts and Keenan peers in.

His eyes GO WIDE.

He pushes the window open a little, whispers...

KEENAN:

What's goin' on? Where is she?

Luca MOANS and struggles against the ropes.

78.

KEENAN (CONT'D)

Whoa. I guess I really didn't

think you were gonna' go this way.

Okay. Whatever.

Keenan sits on the edge of the bed.

Luca MOANS trying to get Keenan to remove the gag.

KEENAN (CONT'D)

Hang on a sec'. Look, I'm sorry

about earlier, -what I said. But

all this stuff. Janine and I

split up.

Luca stops struggling, shocked.

KEENAN (CONT'D)

All I ever did was piss her off.

I'm not sure she even wants a guy.

And you think I'm so much better

with girls than you, and sure I can

get laid anytime I want, but truth

is, I never even woulda' hit on her

if it weren't for watchin' you.

Keenan climbs on top of Luca, starts untying her hands,

straddling her.

KEENAN (CONT'D)

The way you just talk to 'em about

anything, like it was okay. I

gotta' get her back, man.

With Herculean effort, Keenan struggles to hold back tears...

KEENAN (CONT'D)

It's like the whole world's blown

apart. Ah, sh*t. Man, you havin'

tits now is just weird.

EXT. WOODED HIGHWAY

The truck THUNDERS along through the trees, head lamps

BLAZING, dashboard lights bright.

Keenan's at the wheel.

LUCA:

Janine said he's definitely there.

79.

KEENAN:

Did she mention me?

Luca indicates 'no.'

KEENAN (CONT'D)

Women. God, I'm glad you want to

be a guy. You are absolutely sure,

right?

LUCA:

Yes!

KEENAN:

'Cause it really is totally cool

either way.

LUCA:

I'm SURE.

KEENAN:

Okay, I just don't want you to

think I'm zerophobic, or somethin'.

EXT. POLLY WOG'S POOL HALL - NIGHT

Students gather outside the farmhouse pool hall.

Male Sydney spots his prey, and approaches Jeremy, who hangs

out alone on the grass near a small bonfire.

The firelight licks their faces.

MALE SYDNEY:

You're on the wrestling team.

JEREMY:

Yeah. You catch the meets?

MALE SYDNEY:

Just an educated guess. Wanna'

wrestle?

Jeremy LAUGHS, glances around, unsure what to make of him.

INSIDE THE SEMI:

The truck CAREENS around a CURVE.

LUCA:

Can't this thing go any faster?!

80.

Luca considers...

LUCA (CONT'D)

You know me better than anyone.

What do you think?

KEENAN:

Huh?

LUCA:

I mean, if I weren't a hundred

percent sure which I'm s'posed to

be. If you had to say.

KEENAN:

All I know is, every time you look

at Michelle, or think about her,

you smile. What the hell else do

you need to know?

LUCA:

It's not right. She deserves to be

with a normal guy.

KEENAN:

So, you don't get to be with

anyone?

They drive in silence.

KEENAN (CONT'D)

That why they call it "zero-

philia?"

LUCA:

She's not gonna' want some guy who

thinks maybe he's supposed to be a

girl sometimes.

KEENAN:

How do you know? Did you ask?

LUCA:

No way I'm gonna' ask her that.

KEENAN:

Well, you have to. Where are your

nads, man?!

Luca glares at him. Keenan realizes his mistake...

KEENAN (CONT'D)

We'll get 'em back.

81.

The truck ROARS on.

EXT. POLLY WOG'S

As Janine looks on, Male Sydney moves in for the kill.

MALE SYDNEY:

Come on, let's grab a couple beers.

Sydney tugs at his T-shirt.

MALE SYDNEY (CONT'D)

Of course, I see you brought your

own six-pack.

GRAVEL PARKING LOT

Keenan and Luca hop down from Luke's truck, scanning the

crowd.

Janine waves to Luca and points across the way.

Luca nods.

LUCA:

Let's go!

KEENAN:

Jeez. She won't even look at me.

They stride across the field.

BEHIND THE BARN:

Male Sydney shoves Jeremy passionately against the wall.

MALE SYDNEY:

I do love to mess with Texas.

Keenan and Luca appear around the corner.

LUCA:

There!

MALE SYDNEY:

We better get outta' here.

Keenan reaches them first. He wrenches Male Sydney and

Jeremy apart.

82.

JEREMY:

Keenan?! It's not the way it

looks.

KEENAN:

Oh, Jeremy, I so profoundly don't

care if you're queer. Trust me,

around here, that's nothin'!

Luca catches up and TACKLES Male Sydney, throttling him on

the ground.

LUCA:

You son-of-a-b*tch! We're doin' it

again, right now!

JEREMY:

Jeez. She your wife?!

MALE SYDNEY:

No! She just said, she wants sex!

(to Luca)

I can't. I'm sorry.

LUCA:

"Sorry?!" F*** you! F*** ME!

NOW!

MALE SYDNEY:

It won't work.

LUCA:

We're goin' inside right here!

MALE SYDNEY:

I'll scream rape.

LUCA:

So will I.

They pull Male Sydney toward the barn door.

MALE SYDNEY:

But I'm gay!

LUCA:

So what?

MALE SYDNEY:

We both need to be into it, or

nothing happens.

83.

KEENAN:

Such bullshit.

Jeremy moves off, wide-eyed and disturbed.

MALE SYDNEY:

That's why I became a woman in the

first place. I couldn't handle it.

Figured if I was female, it was

okay to like guys.

KEENAN:

She's lyin'.

Male Sydney shakes his head 'no.'

LUCA:

You're tellin' me, 'cause you're

straight as a girl and I'm straight

as a guy, we can screw and switch,

but...

MALE SYDNEY:

'cause you're straight as a girl,

and I'm gay as a guy, even if we do

it...

LUCA:

I'm just screwed.

Keenan's confused...

KEENAN:

Jeez. You need trigonometry to

figure this thing out. Maybe

you're 'bi.'

MALE SYDNEY:

In my world the Kinsey scale's

three-dimensional, but trust me,

girls do nothing for me. Zilch!

(to Keenan)

You, on the other hand...

Keenan RECOILS.

LUCA:

What am I gonna' do?

KEENAN:

What if he's lying? I say, do him

again anyway!

84.

LUCA:

Fine!

MALE SYDNEY:

Fine. Waste of time.

Luca notices Michelle standing nearby.

LUCA:

Michelle.

KEENAN:

Oh, man.

LUCA:

It's not what you think.

Keenan and Luca realize that she's Luca right now, not Luke.

KEENAN:

What does she think?

LUCA:

I'm not sure.

MICHELLE:

You a**hole!

Michelle moves off.

ALONGSIDE THE BARN

Luca runs up.

MICHELLE:

I don't believe this. You slept

with that guy?!

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