Zoolander 2 Page #7

Todd! Silks!

Huh?

For years you all left me

to die in a stinking cell!

Well, now it's my turn!

I was living

a peaceful life

of reclusion.

Why drag me into this?

Because my big issue is...

...i hate you,

Derek zoolander!

Then why kill all

those pop stars?

Why kill Justin bieber?

Really? You're asking me

why I killed Justin bieber?

Todd! Pooch!

It's a bomb!

Not just any bomb.

A device,

designed by Philippe starck

in collaboration

with al-qaeda

for their new spring

explosive collection.

Todd! Floor!

When I throw this

into this ancient

pool of lava,

it will overflow,

killing everyone in fashion.

Leaving only me.

You can't kill fashion!

I'm afraid fashion

already killed itself.

Mugatu! I'm coming across!

Derek!

Heat is a temporal construct

of the mind.

Yes.

It doesn't exist.

Whoa!

It's so hot! It's hot!

Jesus!

Stop it, hansel! Stop it!

Derek, toss me the knife.

You got it!

Sorry.

So stupid.

What the hell

is your problem?

You guys are

the absolute worst.

Put the bomb down, mugatu!

Oh, you're the

bubble-butted playboy model

trying to take me down.

Swimsuit model!

Sports illustrated cover,

three years in a row!

Ah!

Katinka...

...ingaborgovinanananana!

Game on, my sexy sister.

Look!

They're sexy fighting!

Awesome.

Tommy likee.

Hey, idiots!

Maybe this will

get your attention!

I've got a bomb in my hand

and it's armed!

Derek, now! Magnum! Do it!

Fly, baby, fly!

Bust it out!

Yes! I knew it.

Hansel, I need your help.

Here, let me try!

It's not working!

Derek, it's not working!

I can't hold it, hansel!

I don't have it!

You've got your son!

I've got nothing.

Not anymore, hansel.

Who's your daddy now?

I don't know

who my daddy is!

That's the whole point!

Hansel.

What?

I am your father.

Holy sh*t. Sting?

Let's do this now.

Nice try, but that

looks about as powerful

as your fat son's...

I'm not fat!

He's plus size.

And I've got the fire.

El nino! It's real.

It's so beautiful.

Bellissima.

The prophecy was true.

He is the chosen one.

Hansel.

He's still so hot right now.

No way! It's a glitter bomb!

Looks like

you still have it.

I guess I do.

Well, we do.

Mmm.

Ah!

Your face!

How bad is it?

Welcome to my world, bro.

- Hansel!

- Hansel!

Orgy!

Hansel!

What are they doing here?

I knew how much

they meant to you,

so I called them

on the way over.

You did that for me?

You're the best friend

anyone could ever ask for,

Derek zoolander.

You look so beautiful. Oh.

We missed you so much.

And I've missed you, too.

And I'm ready to be a father.

To all our children.

Minus one.

What?

I lost my baby.

No.

I guess

kicking the door down

wasn't such a good idea.

We're going to be a family,

that's all that matters.

Wait. Are you sure?

You're right. We shouldn't.

Hey. It's okay, dad.

I don't think mom would mind.

Matilda.

Go to her, Derek.

You're cool with it?

I'm totally cool with it.

I'm dead.

Literally nothing

bothers me anymore.

Oh, and guess what?

Mugatu live-streamed

all of this

to every fashion blog

on the planet.

Everybody loves

you guys again.

Did you hear that?

We did it. We're back.

And famous.

And totally self-realized.

Are you thinking

what I'm thinking?

If you're thinking...

Lava pool party!

No!

They're back!

After six weeks

in the burn ward,

their disgusting

facial scars healed

by a miraculous

hot lava treatment

Derek zoolander and hansel

owning the runway once again

after exposing

fashion's top designers

in yet another

human sacrifice scandal.

This time with the aid

of interpol agent

Valentina valencia,

now zoolander's wife.

The two recently broke ground

for the Valentina valencia

center for swimsuit models

who want to be taken seriously

and maybe transition

into law enforcement too.

Hansel, definitely back

and fully self-realized.

Now a model parent.

And father of ten.

As crowds at

Paris fashion week

go cray-cray for

Derek zoolander, Jr.,

the world's hottest

plus size model-slash-

national book award winner-

one-half celebrity couple

zoolala.

Yes, these three are

totally on fleek...

Redefining what it means

to be really, really,

ridiculously good-looking.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes