$50K and a Call Girl: A Love Story Page #3

A little crew good time fun?

- Oh, Jesus Christ, really?

Seth, really?

- Who's that?

That's, uh, that's Dutch.

He's doing, uh, sound for us.

- How much does he cost?

- Not very much.

Hey, baby, I want

to introduce you to Carly.

- I don't want to.

- Why not?

You're gonna have to meet her,

we're going to be on a month-

we're gonna be

on the road with her a month.

Later.

- When? Carly.

- Yeah.

Hey, I want you

to meet Lauren, my fiancee.

Hi.

- It's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah.

- Really great shirt.

- Thank you.

- Yeah. D-did you make it?

- No, I modified it.

- Smart.

Yeah.

I like your shirt, too.

- Thank you.

- It's really nautical.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- Nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

How's it going, Jetta?

- Who-who's this?

That's Jetta, he's, uh-you

actually met him before.

You've met him at Barbara and

George's cousin's wedding.

How much does he cost?

Baby, why are you so concerned

with how much everything costs?

Um, I just want

to know how much is left.

There's gonna be plenty left.

Hey, let's hit the road!

Let's hit the road.

- Okay.

All right, you guys

are going in that car,

we're gonna take the van.

- Okay.

- We'll be right behind you.

Milady, your chariot!

Sir!

Have you seen her shirt?

- What?

- Her shirt?

Her shirt? She modified it.

I can't believe this

is actually gonna happen.

It's too high.

Baby, I'm not

staying on this plane.

I'm going. C'mon.

For real. Let's go.

- I don't want to go.

- Let's go.

Come on, let's go.

- Stop it!

I don't want to go.

- I love you, baby!

- Love you! Okay, oh, my God!

Ready, set!

I can't do it.

No, no, no!

I don't want to do it.

I don't want to go.

Close it now.

- Group hug.

- Yeah.

That was amazing, oh!

- I wish you would've gone.

- I'm sorry, I was too scared.

It's okay.

Okay, it's okay to be scared.

Okay? Once.

You get one pass, all right?

Next time we do

something like this,

you have to join us.

- Okay.

- All right?

- Okay.

- Love you.

So you're not

gonna say anything?

- Like, what?

- Uh, I don't know.

I mean, we just jumped

out of a f***ing plane.

Like, how cool is that?

Yeah, it was crazy.

It didn't seem crazy to you,

you're just fixing your hair

for the last 15 minutes,

since we-since we left.

No, it was fu-

it was fun, I don't know...

...I don't know

what you want me to say.

You know, you can have a good

time on this, if you want.

Actually, it's just weird.

Like, I just...

What's weird about it?

I don't... I don't...

I don't feel-I don't feel

bad for you.

You don't feel bad

for me because I'm dying?

Not really,

you make it kind of hard.

How do I make it kind of hard?

You kind of come off

as... an a**hole.

Like, you don't seem

like you're dying,

you don't seem like you care

about any things that like...

...you should care

about when you're dying.

Like you just want to spend

your brother's money,

and pay me to like,

come along with you

and make sure you have fun.

It's just, it's weird,

I'm sorry.

For me, I would probably...

...I would want

to hang out with, like...

...my family as much as I could.

If I could.

I am hanging out

with my family.

Friends.

Look, I'm just not that

close to a lot of people.

It's just weird.

Well, what about you?

Why do you do what you do?

It doesn't make sense.

It's just a job.

I know it's just a job.

All this is just a job.

It's not

but it's like,

there's no weird explanation

or something like...

...It's just a service

that I provide

and I'm f***ing good at it.

It's... I moved out

to L.A. to be an actress and...

...that's what I do.

My audience is

one person or two or three.

Jesus, three?

- Depends. Um.

- Seems obsessive.

Look, it's not all pathetic,

you know?

Like,

I get something out of it.

I lose myself in the role,

I lose myself in someone

else's fantasy and it's...

So, are you doing

that right now, with me?

No. I'm not doing

that with you right now.

I'm... I'm actually

talking to you like a real

person and that feels...

...feels right.

Our sound guy, Dutch,

had a friend from the service

who sold mushrooms in a

trailer park near Joshua Tree.

I was excited

to meet a friend of Dutch's.

Snappy dresser.

I've never taken

mushrooms before.

Am I gonna freak out?

You'll freak out.

No, you're gonna freak out

a little bit.

- Have you ever freaked out?

- Yeah.

Of course I freaked out.

- Have you ever freaked out?

I freaked out once

but that's because

I couldn't stop puking.

I freaked out once, too.

But I was with my dad

and I was 12.

Whoa, what the f***?!

Not sure we need

to hear that story.

Where did that...

...- creepy story come from?

- It's not...

Look, Lauren, just take them.

I'm a sick kid,

this is my dying wish that for

you to take mushrooms with us.

- Okay. Fine, fine.

- Ahh.

Fine. Fine.

- Fine.

- Ahh.

- Fine!

What the f*** did you just do?

Baby, did you just take all

of them?

Did you just

eat that whole thing?

- Oh, sh*t, we're f***ed.

You just ate

an entire bag of mushrooms.

I like the mushrooms.

See, that's what happens.

- Don't. Don't.

No, stop.

Stop.

How's it going

in there with her?

- It's not going anywhere.

- Oh, really?

She, just...

... "You know the rules."

And just stormed off.

Where are you going?

Ross was just... freaking me out

a little bit.

Why?

'Cause he's trying to be all...

mushy and sh*t.

Oh.

Why don't you like mushy?

'Cause it's not real.

It's bullshit.

Oh, you can't kiss?

Yeah, we can't kiss.

We can't...

Can-can you butt f***?

Yeah, apparently you can

butt f*** her.

You can go downhill...

...So, why-why would you want

if butt f***ing is like,

on the menu.

You're like, oh,

you know what, I'm-I'm full,

I'm just

gonna have an appetizer,

I'm just gonna...

- ... 'Cause I like her!

I like her.

So you-you

show her that you like her.

I just did!

I tried to have

a nice romantic...

...Being in the tent,

tripping.

Her face is off

and that went nowhere.

He doesn't know me,

I don't know him.

You know,

I don't want to pretend that...

...just because he's dying,

we're like like soulmates.

Like, I'm working a job.

Wow.

- What?

- That's really cold.

It just comes

with the territory.

If you went

to Heaven and God was like,

"Hey, guess what?

Astrology is real.

It's just all

for-f***ing-real."

Every horoscope we read,

completely 100 percent real.

Yeah.

I know that's a

Capricorn thing to say,

but I think...

Like,

WWE wrestling, all real.

- Like, pro wrestling?

- Yeah.

Pro wrestling, Iron Shriek,

every move he did,

f***ing real, dude.

The truth is,

we were only comfortable

speculating

about the afterlife in jest.

Ross seemed to be

aversed introspection because it

slowed down the adventure.

But he was changing.

Could-could

I interview you real quick?

Yeah, I got me teeth out,

you know,

I'm at home now

so I go without teeth.

No, it's okay.

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