100 Girls Page #7

"Pride and Prejudice" tape.

This is a catastrophe!

I had one last chance,

one last strategy.

If I improved myself, doing more

than keeping my nails clean...

maybe my cosmetic destiny

might change her opinion of me.

She was out there

somewhere watching me.

I decided, the first step in my

taking a scouring to my soul...

...was peace in the gender war.

- Another point, pussies?

- Forget it. I'm outta here.

- Come on, just one more game!

I'll play.

I was a maze by how well Arlene

and I complemented each other.

Arlene had a soft touch,

knowing just where to set me up.

She let my power game

do its magic.

She was an excellent

cheer-leader.

She never got pissed

when I blew a point.

It's okay, you're doing good.

You get it next time.

My balls and her energy drove us

to new performance heights.

Come on, Arlene, smoke them!

Our masculine and feminine sides

brought up the best in each other.

We went together,

like yinandyang.

Potato chips and soda.

Men and women.

Because Crick and his buddy had

the same styles, they often collided.

They were missing something. They

had the power, but no strategy.

There was too much ego. They spent

more time fighting each other.

You keep your arm

on your side!

- That's game, guys.

- End match. Now drop them.

You cheated!

Let's see those trophies, boys.

Let's see them.

Girls, it's just because it's cold

in here. It's freezing, I swear.

I know sometimes you think

guys like me can be pigs.

I get sensitive sometimes. Comes

from growing up with 6 brothers.

I know, but I wanna

tell you something.

It's hard for me sometimes to

figure out how to be a man.

What do you mean?

I can blame my father a little bit.

My male role model.

My dad loves ice-cream so much,

he'd do anything to get it.

More than once, ld watch him running

out in the middle of the street...

in his underwear,

after the ice-cream truck.

How is that supposed to

teach me to be a man, right?

Back in the day, boys would go

out with their fathers to work...

or they'd take the

weekend and go hunting.

At their fathers' sides,

boys learn to be men.

in the computer age, boys are at

home and fathers, at the offices.

There's no more

apprenticeships left.

It leaves me in the street,

looking at my father...

is his under wear eating

ice-cream sandwich.

- Some role model.

- Right!

If I can't grasp what a man is,

how am I gonna understand women?

I wouldn't say that. You understand

women better than most men.

Thank you.

I love women.

I love those emerald pools

masquerading as eyes.

Lips.

I love smiles...

and the yawns.

The eating.

With skin so soft,

women are head to toe cashmere.

A woman skin inspires a man's fingers

to have Magellan's love of exploration.

It's women's bellies

that drive me wild.

It's more than the only part of

the body you easily see naked.

The belly hints at

the pleasures beyond.

You're so near and yet so far.

Everything about a woman

draws you to her sexuality.

The small triangle between her legs

is like the head o fan arrow...

which points, "Go here!"

Or if you follow the graceful

line of the pectoral is major...

it inevitably draws your

eyes to the golden orbs...

climaxed by the nipple.

God is in the details. And the

nipple is His greatest detail.

Dora loved the video

I made of her.

But I couldn't take the credit.

I said 95% of directing is casting.

See?

You're beautiful.

So, Cynthia, why aren't you out

on a Saturday night?

Because my face got flattened like

road kill after the couch fell on me.

Sorry.

It was weird that I felt comfortable

talking to her now...

that her looks

didn't distract me.

She was the same girl, really.

- So what are you reading?

- "World Religion and Us".

This guy was supposed to give me

his notes, but he never called me.

I was reading about these religious

scholars who found out that...

the phrase "walking in the water"

meant "walking by the water".

isn't that interesting? Perhaps

Jesus didn't perform any miracle.

We thought he did, because we

made a mistake in the translations.

I hear you. But you know

what's really messed up?

God loves us, right?

Then why does he let bad things

happen to good people?

I don't know. I guess God has

a plan for everybody, right?

His plan for me sucks!

You've got strong legs.

Id been avoiding Patty for a while.

I didn't know how to handle it.

But I was thinking about her. So

Francesca went to hangout with her.

So what do you think about

that maintenance guy Matt?

- He's not my type really.

- Why is that?

I don't know. He just sort

of seems distracted to me.

It was then that I heard the

cracking of Crick's nicotine gum.

Patty, I just heard of what you've

been doing with Mr. Fix-it.

- Can we talk about this later?

- No, we'll talk about it right now!

- Please, just let go off me!

- Let her go!

You want to some of me too?

It looks like it's just the two of us.

Relax, and we'll

get along just fine.

Are you a slut too? Everything

will be fine. Just relax.

Crick was chewing

his nicotine gum in year.

Like kryptonite, it drained any

superpowers I had left in my body.

All that went through my mind was

what Crick had in store for me.

Do you like it?

I'm gonna give it to you good.

Now give us a kiss.

I had to do something.

This was not the night that little girl

Francesca was to become a woman.

I read later that four thousand women

a year are murdered by their men.

I don't understand women.

But, for a moment...

I had an inkling about their

feelings towards men.

I didn't tell anyone about what

happened. I was too ashamed.

And if that wasn't

bad enough...

I discovered Rod choking the

chicken to the video I made of Dora.

What happened to your dick?

It's called hypospadias.

The hole in your dick is...

it's not on the tip,

it's underneath.

Spooky! It's kind of like having

your mouth below your chin.

Sort of.

Don't tell anyone, alright?

Specially those girls you've

been hanging out with.

I showed it to a girl once,

and she freaked out.

It was then I realized

this was Rod's horror.

I haven't taken it out in front

of a chick ever since.

So how do you pee?

I either, you know,

lift it up real high or...

if I'm lazy, I just give it

a twist or something.

So this was what

it was all about.

The penile power was a way

to prove his manhood.

And to build himself up,

Rod had to run down women.

Men are so insecure

about their masculinity.

What pathetic

creatures we are.

- You must think I'm a total f*ggot.

- No. Not at all.

Did you ever see the James Bond flick

"The Man with the Golden Gun"?

- Yeah, what about it?

- Remember Scaramaga's 3rd nipple?

- Yeah, so?

- It was the "superfluous papilla".

And Bond made a fake one so he can

get in the Scaramaga's hide-out.

You're missing the point. The 3rd

nipple was a sign of sexual virility.

So maybe your penis doesn't

make you an elephant man.

Maybe it makes you

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