2001 Maniacs Page #3

it's gonna be nothing

but dancing and games.

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And best of all...

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a mouth-watering--

mmm, mmm--barbecue.

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Let me guess.

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Detour sign?

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Detour sign.

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What do you think?

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l'm game for anything.

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Tell you what.

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You stay, we'll stay.

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Cool.

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Judas Priest.

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We got ourselves

two more Yanks for the jubilee.

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What the hell

kind of detour was that?

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Negro and Chinaman

to boot.

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That's Chinawoman.

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And what a woman!

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Well, don't just

stand around, folks.

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Granny's got rooms

waiting on you at the hotel.

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Come on!

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Come on!

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Welcome to

Granny Boone's hotel.

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'Sup?

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l don't think so, Amos.

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-l'm Hester.

-And l'm Glendora.

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Granny Boone said we're supposed

to show you to your rooms.

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You girls want

to burn some blunts?

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You know, spleef?

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Reefer.

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You two are so lucky

you're hotties.

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Any more luggage, boy?

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Boy?

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Ain't y'all motherfuckers

ever heard...

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of the Civil Rights Movement?

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ls that anything

like a bowel movement?

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What, are you out

of your f***in' mind?

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Kick back, hon.

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Granny Boone done wash out

some fresh sheets for ya.

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Guess you people aren't wearing

those things any more, huh?

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Tell me, where do black folks

hang out around here?

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From off that tree

down there yonder, usually.

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Oh, you want

to get down, huh? All right.

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Chill, baby.

l don't think our bellhick...

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is playing

with a full deck here.

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Granny Boone say we got to

please all our festival guests.

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Even you.

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Well, we wouldn't wanna...

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piss old Granny Boone off,

now, would we?

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All right then,

that's more like it.

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Now, remember...

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dinner is

at seven P.M. sharp.

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And Granny Boone,

she hates tardiness.

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Well, then y'all

best leave us to prepare.

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OK, then.

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l bid you adieu.

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That's German

for l'll see you later.

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Sh*t we got to go through

for a free meal.

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Come on, Malcolm.

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A little old-fashioned

hospitality might be fun.

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F*** old-fashioned

hospitality.

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l'd rather f*** you.

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Oh, sh*t.

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This sure is a fine reenactment

setup they've got going here.

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l ever tell you how much l love

Civil War tourist attractions?

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Don't y'all mind us none.

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Jezebel!

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Come here,

you little mutton chops.

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l say to hell with Daytona.

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l, sir, am in accordance.

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You know, l never knew

you were Southern.

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l was raised

by my Aunt Charlotte.

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She was old-school Southern.

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She taught me to open

the door for the ladies...

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say, ''Yes, ma'am''

''Why, no, ma'am.''

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You sure unlearned

that sh*t fast.

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Right, Cory.

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lt's still in me

in the background.

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School's in session!

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My misguided spawn.

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Now, why in the hell

did you let them two devils

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in Pleasant Valley, hmm?

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Lord knows l don't cotton

to waiting on a darky...

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and...however,

in service to the festival...

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Mmm, well,

it'll all be over soon.

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Looks like Miss Peaches...

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done snagged herself

a Yankee boy already.

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l got my eye

on that purty one

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with them long legs leading

up to them tender buttocks.

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Now, now, now.

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You leave her

to Harper, boy.

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That tasty dish

don't stand a chance...

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once he walk up on her.

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Am l right

or am l right?

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Trouble

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Trouble

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Came a-knockin'

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Came a-knockin'

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Trouble

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Trouble

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Came a-knockin'

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Came a-knockin'

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Trouble

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ls this place a hoot

or what?

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Can you believe

these hicks actually think...

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we're gonna sleep

in separate beds?

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Well, l say we hang,

grab whatever we can...

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