21 & Over Page #5

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- Oh, my God, look.

That's Nicole's sorority.

- Oh, cool. OK.

- All right.

One... two...

- F***.

- ...three!

Oh, my God.

Did we just kill JeffChang?

Jump!

Oh, my God!

Dude, they're everywhere!

JeffChang is

covered in rose thorns.

- Open the f***ing door!

- Can I help you?

- Oh, my God, thank God you're white.

- Is Nicole here?

- Uh, yes, but... OK...

- Awesome.

Um, she doesn't want to see you.

OK, just be careful.

Oh, my Lord.

I'm looking at his a**hole. Oh!

So, whose idea was it

to throw Jeff off the roof?

Uh, Casey.

It was Casey's idea.

Wow. I was all wrong about you.

Had you pegged for

a real straight arrow.

Oh, no, he is.

He went to space camp.

- Thanks, man.

- Straight arrow.

- Yeah. I have a bit of a wild side. Mm-hm.

- Oh, yeah?

Sometimes after eating,

I jump right into the pool.

- I don't even wait 20 minutes.

- You're a f***ing renegade.

Yeah, you think so?

- Yeah.

Sometimes at night... I

don't even wear my mouth guard.

- Oh, my God.

- And I'm supposed to.

That's recommended.

- You're funny.

- Thanks.

- I think you're funny too.

Thank you.

What the f*** are you guys doing?

OK, look, I go to the window

to check out for our safety,

and I come back,

it's all bananas in pajamas.

Let's get serious.

- Do you know where JeffChang lives?

- I don't, I'm sorry.

Do you know

any of his friends or anything?

I met Jeff in my remedial

science study group,

but he didn't really talk

to anyone else so...

There we go, back at square one.

Not a single clue.

Wait, your remedial

science group?

Yeah, I'm a Bio major.

I tutor kids who are struggling.

OK, no, JeffChang is Asian.

There's no remedial

in that language.

- Yeah.

- Nicole, JeffChang invented science, OK?

Actually, he's failing

out of school.

- This JeffChang, right here?

- Yeah. This JeffChang.

You guys didn't know that?

- No. No.

- What?

What is going on with JeffChang?

First the gun and now this?

Why wouldn't he tell us

he was failing?

I don't know. Maybe he was

embarrassed or something.

We're his best friends. You tell

your best friends stuff like that.

Maybe we're not friends

like that anymore.

What? OK, we're

in the middle of a crisis here.

You're just gonna drop that

kind of sh*t on me right now?

Listen, Nicole, is there

like a campus address book,

or do you know anyone that

might know where he lives?

No. Oh, wait,

- Randy might know where Jeff lives.

- Oh, great.

He's the campus pep leader.

He has every student's address

in his phone for sending out

flyers and stuff.

- So Randy is a cheerleader?

- Yell leader.

- Oh, yell leader.

- Completely different.

- Yeah, I didn't realize, OK.

- Straight to voicemail.

Oh, he's at the pep rally.

You know what? I'm going to

a party on that side of campus,

- I can take you guys over there.

- Great!

OK, look, no, guys.

We can't just run out of here.

We're surrounded by

Latins right now.

They're coming in hot.

They're frickin' everywhere.

- No worries. I have a car.

- She has a car!

Nice. A little bit of a road

trip? We're on a mission.

OK, there she is.

Go that way!

Oh, f***, what is that?

It looks like a toy.

Look over here!

It's fine, it's a car. We're coming.

Dude, there's no way.

There's Hispanics everywhere.

Check the bushes.

- OK, we gotta go, come on!

No, no. This is stupid. We're

not gonna fit in that thing.

- We'll be fine.

- I've taken shits bigger than that.

I cannot believe you're jeopardizing

our mission for some girl.

- Why? You think she likes me?

- No, you're a f***ing nerd.

That's what I was saying.

It's like,

- I think she would date a guy that

rides a mountain bike... - Shh!

...or like surfs in Costa Rica.

Where do I fit in?

- F***, this really isn't gonna work.

I told you.

There they are!

Go, go, go!

Get the f***ing van.

- Hm-mm

- Throw it, throw it

Break it down now

roll it, roll it

That's it

Yeah, you got it going on

It's the...

should be throwin' on

All it takes for you

to be my queen

Rub that booty

on my Levi jeans

Is the pep rally

even still going on?

Oh, yeah,

we've got State tomorrow.

This campus is gonna

be going off all night.

Oh, nice.

Well, thanks for the ride.

So, how are we gonna

find this Randy guy?

Pep rally's right down that path.

Just look for the big truck.

It's called the Spirit Mobile. Randy

should be around there somewhere.

You sure you don't

want to come with us?

I'd love to, but I'm already

super late to my party.

And why is Randy gonna give us

JeffChang's address?

Oh, because he's my boyfriend.

What?

- Didn't I tell you that?

- Uh, no.

- Yeah.

Well, Nicole, have a great night.

- Thank you so much. You're a gem.

- OK, well, good luck.

- OK.

- Great. Thank you.

Bye.

- Just don't.

- Casey, I'm not gonna say anything.

Can't believe she has a

boyfriend, though, right?

I thought she would have

said something earlier.

It makes sense. That's why she

wasn't, you know, feeling me.

But I'm not gonna say anything.

I won't say anything.

I don't want to rub salt in your wound

'cause I could tell you're hurting...

But I didn't know

she had a boyfriend. Wow.

Let's just find this guy, OK?

I bet he's huge, by the way.

Probably super flexible. The guy

could probably blow himself.

I'd blow myself,

but I have a long torso.

But seriously,

does your sister ask about me?

Check the alley!

Let's find these motherfuckers!

What the hell's

going on out here?

Hey... have you seen these guys?

I've been looking

for them all night.

They were also carrying

a drunk Asian kid.

Oh, I got you,

you little turds.

Hey, let's check over there

by the big truck.

Oh, look, cheerleaders!

Let's ask the cheerleaders.

Uh, excuse me! Excuse me!

- Do you know where Randy is?

- He's behind the Spirit Mobile.

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me, hey, are you Randy?

- Oh, no.

- What the f*** you doing here?

Who's this guy, Randy?

These are the motherfuckers

that threw a dart at my face.

- Break them down, Randy.

- Wait, this is the guy from the bar?

- Yeah.

- You got a lot of nerve coming into my house.

You are not cool enough

to call something your house.

Plus, we're outside, so it doesn't

even make sense. There's no house.

- It's a metaphor, b*tch.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, dude.

I'm sorry about my friend. Look,

we just talked to Nicole and...

Whoa, you talked to my girl?

Yeah, I wouldn't

have gone that route.

Yeah, listen, we're just trying

to get our friend home

and she said you might have

his address in your phone?

- Nicole said that?

- Hm-mm.

- Lock him up, Randy.

- Sweep the leg, Randy.

"Sweep the leg"?

- Hurt his feelings, Randy.

- Crush his spirit, Randy.

Well, I mean, I should probably help them out, right?

Here's my phone, motherfuckers.

- Come and get it.

- Can we just be grown-ups about this?

- OK, I'm done talking. What's up?

- Dude, what are you doing?

- Oh, sh*t, Randy!

- He's got a gun, Randy!

- I'm scared, Randy.

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