21 & Over Page #7

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- Miller...

Just 'cause I look like this...

doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

Look, we just need

to get our friend home, OK?

- Can you help us out? Please?

- Come on, man.

Tower of Power, dude.

- Tower of Power, dude?

- Tower of Power.

What are we gonna

do with JeffChang?

Uh...

Oh, stoners.

- Hey, what's up, dudes?

- What's going on?

- You guys mind watching our friend for a bit?

- Sure, man.

Killer.

These guys look super high.

You sure this is a good idea?

Relax, dude, these morons

aren't going anywhere.

Now, come on! Let's show these

clown d*cks how to pong, baby.

- F***, yeah!

- F***, yeah!

Too tough

Oh, we won't break

Enough

'Cause when you make

Ethnic Serbs.

These guys can pong.

F*** the Balkan states.

OK, bros, when we beat you,

you can't rape us and steal our land, OK?

No rapey. No rapey.

OK. Nice shot.

Mazel tov.

F***ing Serbs.

Here we go.

And we're back!

Twinkle, twinkle, baby.

Twinkle, twinkle.

- Good.

- Drink up, Serb.

Know what that tastes like?

Freedom.

Yeah!

Hey, Ivan Drago, this one's

for you and your sweet jumpsuit.

Ahh! Sucka.

Say something, bro.

You're freaking me out.

- This one's for Apollo Creed. His spirit lives on.

- Yeah!

- That's what I'm talking about! That's what I'm talking about!

- Paper covers rock, b*tch.

- Rock covers your Russian ass!

- That's right... different cultures.

Sky hook.

That's unbelievable!

- Last shot, last shot.

- Kiss it. Kiss it.

Man up!

- Yeah

- Yeah!

That's unbelievable!

USA! USA!

- Red, white and blue!

- Undefeated, baby!

- Give me my beads, b*tch!

- Sorry, he doesn't mean that.

Tower of f***ing Power!

All day!

That's right, baby!

You did it. You know you did it.

Yes!

- What's the name of the game?

Thumper!

- And why do we play?

- To get f***ed up!

Yeah!

- Yeah!

- Give me my beads.

That's what I'm talking about,

right there!

Dude, what?

Chug, chug, chug, chug!

Almost there!

Holy sh*t! You can do this!

No.

- Suck and Blow!

- F***ing child's play.

All right, last event,

get in line.

I'm gonna go get in there.

Let's go, Suck and Blow party.

Casey?

Nicole?

- Oh, so this was your party.

- Hey.

- Did you get Jeff home OK?

- Uh, no, actually,

we left him downstairs

with a couple random stoners.

Wait, are you serious?

Yeah, actually, now that I think about

it, it's kind of a horrible idea.

I don't know why we did that.

- Hey, Walsh.

- Yeah, bro?

Hey, man, who's this dude?

So, Randy didn't

have Jeff's address?

Yeah, no, your boyfriend actually

turned out to be a bit of a dead end.

Balls, I'm sorry.

Can I ask you what

you see in that guy?

- Is this you being jealous?

- No!

- Is that what that is?

- I'm not jealous.

- Yes, you are.

- Why am I jealous?

Why, 'cause he's handsome and

has phenomenal school spirit?

Randy is pretty crazy,

but he's also fun.

And he's passionate

and I like that in a guy.

Yeah, but he's passionate about

cheerleading and fighting people.

It's like the two worst things

to be passionate about.

OK, all right, what are you

passionate about, Casey?

- I'm passionate about a lot of things.

- Oh, what NPR?

Yeah, yeah, I actually like NPR a bit.

They have a nice little Morning Edition,

sometimes I get some cooking tips from them.

- Cute ringtone.

- Sorry.

I thought that

might have been him.

He hasn't returned my texts all night.

I... hate it when he does this.

Well, enough about Randy.

Would you like to

Suck and Blow with me?

I thought you'd never ask.

Dude, does it look

like the bear's...

- ...blowing him enough yet or what?

- It looks great, I believe it.

What about the face...

Should I write, "Douchebag"?

Or "Fucktard"? Huh?

Very nice form.

Where did you learn to play?

Hanover Lake every summer.

No way, I used to spend

every winter break there.

- No!

- I swear to God.

The card needs to be a little

higher, Danielle. For next time.

Yeah, people say that

it's like old and run down,

but I think it's the most

beautiful place in the world.

Yes! Well, except for that

creepy guy that sells pinecones.

- Creepy Dan the Pinecone Man!

- Yes! Oh, my God!

I can tell you don't like me,

but if you have a sister

who looks like you...

I can't believe that

you know Hanover Lake.

It is literally my

favorite place on earth.

It's like, all you need

to know about me.

- You know what I mean?

- Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Jesus Christ, we're playing Suck

and Blow, people. Game faces.

Oh, God.

Randy's in the hospital.

He got mauled by

a f***ing buffalo.

Some a**hole stole his phone.

That's why he hasn't texted.

- Oh, my God, I'm such a b*tch.

- Do you want me to come with you?

Probably not, right?

All right, bye.

Let her go, man.

Sometimes the heart

is a lonely hunter.

Do you want to cry?

I'll f***ing cry for you.

Do you want to make out with me?

No? Kenny, you can come too.

You look like a watcher.

He's waking up, dude.

I can't just leave it.

It says "DOUCHEBA"...

- No one's gonna get it.

- The public will understand.

- This is my art.

- Stop being such a diva.

F***, dude... we gotta go!

What the f***?

Top floor, baby, top floor!

- What the hell is this?

Holy sh*t.

- What is this place?

OK, sh*t just got weird.

Congratulations, players.

You've completed

the Tower of Power.

- You PJ Brill?

- Please, call me Tower Master.

These are my sweet b*tches.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- What's up, sweet b*tches?

- Look, we're friends with Jeff Chang...

- Now, here is your reward.

Gold beads?

You gotta be kidding me, dude.

All right, are you

f***ing serious, man?

I want more than gold

f***ing beads.

Miller, it's not

about the beads, man.

They gave me 50 bucks for

this whole party, all right?

Fifty bucks! The chair,

it was 40! All right?

These chicks, I'm paying them

five bucks each tonight.

So maybe you guys

could cut me a break.

Maybe he can cut us a break 'cause

I just chugged a gallon of milk.

Went through your little rat race. I'm

all excited, get to the top floor and

look what I got, look at this. I have

a baby wizard Elvis with gold beads.

I'm sorry you got free booze

and free milk. Sh*t!

My fault, buddy! OK, do you know

how much milk costs?

- Like, it's more than gasoline.

- We're friends with Jeff Chang...

Hey, can I get my banana? These dudes

are like stressing me. Thanks.

- OK, who are we talking about?

- JeffChang. He used to live here.

- You were his RA. The cops came in here...

- Oh, yeah, yeah!

He got super wasted and we're

just trying to get him home.

No, I don't know where

that little psycho lives, man.

Why you calling him a psycho?

What's that about?

Dude, the guy got arrested

for attempted murder, right?

What?

- Yeah, that's f***ing psycho, right?

- Murder? Are you kidding me?

- Bullshit. Who did he try to kill?

I don't know, but he had a gun

and he f***ing used it, dude.

- That doesn't make any sense.

- Yeah. Right?

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