2 Lava 2 Lantula! Page #4

an outcropping.

Boy, I ain't

ever seen anything

like that

in my whole life.

Have you ever seen

anything like that?

Didn't I just say that?

Yeah.

Hey, Colton, what do

you think that is?

Hell of a coincidence.

All right!

Lavalantulas!

Over there! Over there!

Come on!

Get some of this!

Come on! Come on!

On the crapper!

On the crapper!

I want some of this!

Hey!

Get down!

Off to the boat!

To the boat!

Let's go!

KYLE:
Have ever seen them

do this before?!

It's a new breed!

Get in the boat!

Just get in the boat! Yah!

Gator.

Dundee?

Yeah!

Get that knife

behind you!

Hey!

Kill that thing, man!

You okay?

I'm okay.

I got you.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I got you.

No, I feel secure.

You do.

No, I feel safe.

There's one!

Come on, man!

Get us out of here, man!

Go! Go! Go!

I mean, we were stuck

inside a ring of lava!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, but we sure taught

those guys something.

We gave them two cents,

okay?

We took the fight

to those suckers!

Wait. Is this where

my highly paid star is?

Taking the fight

to these things?

I ain't saying anything.

Here come

the cavalry!

Come on, guys.

Where's Colton West?

Good. Are you guys

here to evacuate us?

I am Colonel

Nathan R. Jester

with the Army Corps

of Engineers,

and I'm looking

for a Colton West.

I was told he was here.

Can you tell me

where I might find

Colton West?

Well, I could think

of a few places.

Well, name one.

The unemployment office.

How 'bout another?

The studio blacklist.

Yeah.

All right.

Where are you going?

Let's set up

a mobile command station

right here!

No. No.

Move out!

N-No one's

going in there!

That is a hot set!

That's a hot set!

That's movie talk for

you can't move anything.

It's movie talk.

Studio blacklist?

You think this is funny?

Colonel Jester,

I don't think

there's anything funny

about this at all. Heh.

Colonel Jester...

is a little bit funny.

It's a little bit funny,

yeah.

You know, I do not

like your attitude.

You know, no one does.

That's what makes me

a good director.

So are you here

to evacuate us or what?

Well, we'll talk

about that.

But right now,

for the fourth time,

I'm gonna ask you,

can you tell me where

I can find Colton?

This is a matter

of national security.

General--

Colonel.

Colonel...

he could be

on a fan boat

in the middle

of the Everglades

for all I know.

What's happening?

How's Gator?

Not good, man.

Jim's dead, Colton.

I think I can save him!

Come on!

I stopped the bleeding,

or he ran out of blood,

one of the two.

He's gone, yo.

Do you even know

where you're going?

Kyle, we're in a swamp.

Of course I don't know

where we're going.

Wai-Wait.

Got it.

Thank...

Go that way!

No, no, no, no, no.

That way!

Yee-hoo!

A'ight,

where they at?

Where they at?

Where we at?

What's up, man?

Hey, yo, Brick.

Don't lose these.

Okay.

Are you okay, girl?

I think my burn is

making me feel sick.

Okay. You're gonna

be fine, okay?

Aw, man.

Hey, guys,

it's a cold room.

Come on.

In here.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

TJ:
Ooh. Damn,

it's cold in here.

It has to be

to keep things fresh.

We got 'em.

MARTY:
Come on.

Is everybody okay?

Jim's

still dead, man.

I meant

you girls!

I'm fine.

Where the hell

are we, Kyle?

Give me a second.

Um, um--

By my calculations,

we're about 40 miles west

of Fort Lauderdale.

That's not good enough!

We gotta get to Raya!

Well, she's--

Hey, wait.

She's at her school.

Wait a minute!

Why would she go

to her school?

Because she wants

to be a geologist.

All right, we gotta

get to that school.

What about--

What about Alligator,

who died

of natural causes?

That's what

he would have wanted.

He's a swamp man.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait a minute.

News flash.

We are in the middle

of nowhere!

Shh!

Hear that?

People?

I smell popcorn.

And I'm

gonna eat it.

ANNOUNCER:
She's been

with us for 20 years!

That's right.

Whoa.

Green!

We call her Mean Green.

Wow!

She ain't the biggest,

but she's the meanest

captive alligator

in the Everglades!

It's

an alligator show.

That's not part

of the show.

Keep going! Go!

Move! Move! Move!

Keep going!

Come on!

Come on!

Keep moving, everyone!

Move!

Keep moving!

Keep moving!

Keep moving!

Move it! Move it!

Move! Move it!

Yo, let's load

the guns up, bro.

Where the guns at?

Don't you have 'em?

Man, do I look

like I got 'em?

No.

Dude, I told you

to get 'em from the truck.

That ain't

what you said.

Man, yeah, I did, man.

You told me to help

what's-his-face here!

No, I didn't, man!

Okay, enough!

I'll grab the guns.

All right, I'll help you

if that's what

you trying to do.

Back away from

the lavalantula.

It's not doing anything.

What is happening?

Why isn't it

attacking me?

It's like

it doesn't see you.

It's the cold.

That has to be it.

We're so cold that it

doesn't see us a-as living.

You mean,

because I'm freezing,

it sees me as a chair?

Nah, it probably

sees me as a chair.

It probably sees you

as like a couch or something.

Whatever. So as long as we

are cold, we're safe?

Well, we're gonna die

if we stay in here,

and we're gonna die

if we go out there.

Man, wish we had guns

right now.

But maybe if we keep

our body temperature

cold enough,

we can go get the guns.

With the liquid

nitrogen tanks.

Like they use

in cryotherapy.

Cryo-what? What--

Therapy. It's the use

of really low temperatures

in medical treatments.

That's it.

BRICK:
I don't

like this idea.

I do not like

this idea.

Ha ha ha.

Y-You saved my life!

Thank you!

My pleasure.

You know who I am,

don't you?

You recognize me

from movies and television?

What about,

Red Rocket?

"Hey, I'm the Red Rocket!"

Or--Or, "There's Hell to Pay!"

What about

the condom commercial

in the nineties?

"This isn't mine.

It's too big!"

No? What about,

"Hey, nice pants."

Nice pants?

"Nice tattoo."

He doesn't know who

you are, Colton! Sorry!

Okay. I'm just trying

to talk to the man.

That chopper,

do you know who owns it?

Zed.

Zed. Where's Zed?

Zed's dead, man.

Zed's dead.

Well, do you know

how to fly it?

Not a lick!

Okay! Do you mind

if we take it?

If it works!

If it works?

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What's going through

your mind, Colton West?

A little flick

I did in the nineties

called "Air Bandits."

Big hit.

That was 20 years ago.

It was

three hours training.

They cut the scene.

That's not a plan A.

What's your plan B?

I'll catch you later.

I'll catch you later.

You know that one?

Yeah, yeah!

Catch you later!

Catch you later.

He remembers!

Catch you...

Colton, you can't fly

that chopper!

You got 847-to-3 odds.

Never tell me the odds!

And it was

four hours training!

And 25 years ago.

Yo, I'm so cold,

I could hug

a lavalantula right now.

Okay, that should

be enough.

Yeah, we should

be cold enough.

We just gotta head

to the truck

and grab the guns, okay?

Okay.

But we gotta move slow.

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