2 Lava 2 Lantula! Page #6

It worked once.

It'll work again.

We strike hard,

we strike first,

and we show no mercy.

No, these aren't

like the ones in L.A.

They're bigger.

They're hotter.

They're nastier.

So what are you suggesting,

that we just,

simply do nothing

and move on?

Suggesting you

don't piss it off.

I don't want you

and your--your friends

to do anything real stupid

like the last time.

I don't have friends.

I got family.

Well, I got bombs,

so you and your family

can just stay tight.

We'll check out your map.

We'll get

a confirmation to you.

Don't hang up on me.

They want us

to sit tight.

Sit tight? How can anyone

sit tight right now?

They're gonna

get us all killed.

Colton, this is

the U.S. military

we're talking about.

Kyle, you know I have

a problem with authority.

Nobody, nobody knows

these spiders

like I know

these spiders.

Colonel,

thermal images are up.

He's right.

Whatever that is,

it's huge.

That is the behemoth

of all spiders.

Get CENTCOM on the line.

We're gonna

smoke her out.

Then we're

gonna light her ass up.

We're gonna

light her ass up.

What happened

to the chopper?

We can't get

to the chopper!

Why not?

Remember when I told you

that every time

we split up,

weird stuff happens?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I was

on my way to the--

Right.

And all of a sudden--

And...

And then what?

Marshmallows.

So what do we do?

Does anybody

have a car?

TJ:
I do.

Brilliant!

Go.

I don't understand

why we can't just sit back

and let the military

handle this.

'Cause they don't know.

And they

don't know.

You keep saying that.

What don't they know?

They haven't ridden

on the back of one

of these things like I have,

And he has.

And they haven't

looked in the eyes

of one of these things

like I have.

And he has.

I think you made

a wrong turn.

Yo, yo, chill out.

This is my hood,

a'ight?

We're dead.

What's happening?!

TJ, shut

the hell up,

and get down!

They're shooting at us!

COLTON:
They're not

shooting at us.

Let's go.

Get 'em!

Let's go!

There's so many of 'em!

No! No! No!

Are you Colton West?

Damn skippy.

"Red Rocket."

Crazy movie, man.

Yeah. They should

have continued

the franchise.

Look out, man!

Come on!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you doing

with my punk-ass brother?

Who you calling punk-ass,

man? We over here

saving Florida.

'Bout to get medieval

on y'all.

Dad, get back

in the house, man!

You two stand back.

I'm gonna show you boys

how it's done.

What is that, sir?

Fire retardant.

Well, whatever

the hell it is,

it chased them

the hell away.

You have any more of it?

I'm out.

I'm out of ammo.

Everybody back

in the house.

All right. Come on.

When they return...

Go in, Pops. Go in.

they're gonna be pissed.

This is Delta One.

Target is in sight.

We have missile lock.

Copy that.

Operation Alpha Foxtrot

is a full go.

Roger that.

Let her have it, boys.

We have direct hit, sir.

Well, that should

wake her ass up?

Greetings.

It's--It's a nice night,

all things considering.

Yeah. It's all right.

I loved "Straight Out

of Compton."

What?

Yeah, I know he's busy,

busy destroying

this entire city.

He doesn't know

what he's dealing with.

Now put him

on the damn phone.

What do you want?

The little spiders,

they don't matter.

It's the big one,

the gargantulantula.

You kill it,

and you kill 'em all.

Who's he talking to?

Well, if it's that easy,

why don't you just

get some bug spray?

I've done this before.

These lavalantulas,

they're not like

the last ones,

and this big one,

it's got so much heat,

no weapon

can come close to it.

I'm about

to prove you wrong.

Really?

Who's hungry?

Really, Mom,

who could eat at

a time like this?

A man's got to eat.

Now shut your mouth,

and put some food in it

before I slap you

upside the head,

damn boy!

What's wrong with you?

You don't

question your mama

in front of guests.

I was just saying

I wasn't hungry.

Well, make

your butt hungry.

Lord, is this

what it takes

for a mama

to get her kids

back in the house

at the same time,

a damn

lavalantula invasion?

Hell,

if I'd have known that,

I'd have called up

them lavalantulas

years ago.

Woman, what's wrong

with you?

You can't call

no lavalantula.

Don't tell me what I can

and can't do.

I got Colton West

up in my house,

a real movie star.

That's very kind

of you, ma'am, and

completely accurate.

Don't interrupt me,

movie star.

You need to eat, too.

Look skinnier

than you did

20 years ago

in that

"Crimson Flyer" movie.

It's actually

called "Red Rocket,"

and it was

a huge hit.

Ooh, that's

the potatoes.

Elizabeth, you know

them potatoes give me gas.

You gonna

eat some potatoes,

or I'm gonna

make you wear 'em.

Sir, can you tell me again

what was that material

that you were shooting

out of your leaf blower?

Fire retardant?

Really?

Yeah, it's

ammonium phosphate.

That's right.

Girl got a brain.

TJ, why can't you find

a girl like that?

What are you

talking about, Pops?

I do. She--She right here,

ain't she?

Hal, where do you

get that stuff?

Pops used to work

for a fire department.

Really?

Yeah.

30 years.

You know, I played

a psychologically

complicated fireman

with a drinking problem

in the hit film,

"Scorcher."

I didn't really care

for that movie very much.

Really?

They should have consulted

a real fireman.

And the fire,

that computer-generated crap,

man, that just

looked silly.

Well,

it's Hollywood, Hal.

You know,

I just read 'em.

I don't write 'em.

But, anyway,

do you have any more

of that stuff

down at the station?

Hell if I know, man.

I ain't been to the station

since they cut

my damn pension.

But I can tell you

where they got a load

of it, though.

Where?

At the airfield,

at the Forest Service.

That's where we

drop it out of planes

for forest fires.

Know anybody

who could fly one

of those planes?

You're looking at him.

First job I had when

I got out the Air Force.

Really?

Colton, is there

something on your mind?

I'm thinking.

Now,

one of those planes,

we'd never get

close enough to drop it.

That big one,

the heat coming

off of it,

would explode

the plane immediately.

Yeah, or if we even

try to get close,

she'll shoot

that cilica garbage

or whatever that is,

and we would fry.

At the school, when we

were being attacked,

the spiders

didn't see us.

She's right.

We got so cold in there.

We lowered

our body temperature

enough that we

were invisible to them.

Really?

So have you got any guys

who could help us load

one of those planes?

Not a problem.

And have you

got any guys

who can get us

to that airfield?

BOTH:
Not a problem.

And how do you feel

about helping me

beat that thing and

saving this city?

ALL:
Not a problem.

Good.

Then let's

extinguish the b*tch.

Heavenly Father.

What?

Breaking news.

Live pictures coming in

now from downtown Miami

at Imagination Stadium.

Damn.

We can now see

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