3 Blind Saints Page #8

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- Except for one problem.

- [Jamal] What's that?

- There ain't no money in there.

- What?

There has to be.

- There was some money.

A lot of money.

But it seems like old Beverly

took out every penny yesterday.

- What?

You mean to tell me shedone robbed a church,

now she gonna rob old Mr. Pickens too?

- That coot is gonna goballistic when he hears this

and I can't wait to tell him!

- Sorry, Lord, I'm not really a bad man.

My mother never loved me.

My father wore a tutu and founded

The Pickens' PirouetteInstitute Exotic Dance.

It's not my fault!

- Hey Rusty.

- What, what?

- We just got back from the bank

and Beverly swindled you and ran off

with all your money.

- Aww.

- Get my phone!

- What's the magic word?

- Please!

Punch one.

Put it in my ear.

- [Sam] Right.

- Officer Marrow, Beverly just ran off

with all the money.

Find her!

Now hang it up.

- What's the magic word?

- Please!

Now we gotta get you guys in court

and we gotta get Beverly behind bars

for a long, long, time.

- Court.

- Court.

Guys, we got a date with the judge.

- Wait a sec, what arewe gonna do with him?

(instrumental rock music)

- Oh Lord, please.

Nobody told me the circus was in town.

Order!

Order in the court!

What is happening here?

Excuse me.

Does somebody have anexplanation for this?

(all shouting)

Order!

I said order.

Now, how were you threeinvolved in all of this?

- Yes, well, Your Honor,my compatriots and I

are victims of inexplicable circumstances.

With all good intentions, we were drawn

into a web of preposterous irregularities.

- Uh huh.

- [Officer] I got her everybody!

- Oh please.

- I got her and I got your money!

- What kind of a world?

There are days I think thatI'm just losing control.

- She stole the money!

- Bad Beverly!

- She's the one that's got the money.

(all shouting)

- Settle, please, settle!

- [Hugo] I got something I wanna say.

- The Court recognizes Hugo.

How you doing, dad?

Go ahead.

- That's your dad?

- Hey, it's a small town.

Now these three, I would call them dumb

except that would be an insult

to the rest of all you dumb people here.

But they did ask me to help them.

Now we foiled the plot of evil Beverly.

Sam, Jamal, and Frankie,

thank you for believing in me.

I love you guys.

- Boys, you done good.

Case dismissed.

(gavel pounds)

- Oh Sam!

- As for Miss Beverly,would you lock her up, dad,

until the hearing tomorrow at 10 o'clock?

- Okay, son.

- And now we get to Mr. Rusty Pickens.

Mr. Pickens, you have stolen, lied,

deceived, have you gotanything to say for yourself?

(Rusty murmurs)

Ah, beg your pardon?

- Oh.

- Your Honor, lastnight in my darkest hour

I was saved!

I came to my senses andrealized my evil ways

and repented of while Iwas tied to this chair

as I am now,

I saw

the light!

- A bright, shiny light?

- Yeah, yeah, that's it.

A bright, shiny light.

- Let me guess.

It knocked you to the ground?

- Yeah, yeah.

It knocked me to the ground.

- Lord, Lord, come help us now

because it's starting all over again.

(upbeat rock music)

(knocks on door)

- I really don't think you should be here.

- I know.

I just need one minute.

Okay, how about 30 seconds?

- It's okay.

- Johnny looks good.

How's he doing?

- Much better, no thanks to you.

- Yeah, Tiffany, look, Iowe you a big apology, okay?

A really big one.

I lied to you and I hurt you

but I didn't do it on purpose.

Well, okay, obviously Ilied to you on purpose.

But the hurting you part,that I didn't see coming.

I've done a lot of dumb things in my day

and I never cared who Istepped on in the process.

But I also never met anybody like you.

- Am I supposed to be flattered by that?

I can see right through you, Sam,

and all this is just a big game to you.

Apparently, I'm the prize.

So, guess what?

You lose.

Why don't you just getyour friends and leave.

- Yeah I would.

But I don't think I can.

- Why?

- I think I'm supposed to stay here

and believe it or not,

I even think I'm supposed tobe the pastor of this church.

- Yeah, that would be an odd career choice

for somebody who doesn'teven believe in God.

- Actually now I do.

- Oh just like that.

- Yeah, I know, kinda crazy right?

But the big guy's pretty convincing.

- Well, I'm happy for you, Sam.

But what makes you think that this church

is gonna want you?

You didn't just lie to me.

You lied to a whole town.

- I guess I got a lot ofpeople to apologize to.

Do you have a phone book?

- Sam, my family needs meand I'm not gonna do this.

- Tiffany, I don't expect you to do this.

I don't expect you to let me back in.

I just hope you won'tcompletely shut me out.

- I'm gonna get a cup of coffee.

- I'm gonna come with you, dad.

Your 30 seconds is over, Sam.

- See ya in church?

(slow instrumental music)

Here goes nothing.

(slow rock music)

Good morning.

As you probably heard,

or at least figured out,

we're not who we said we were.

We didn't really come hereto work for your church.

We were working to stay out of jail

and make some easy cash.

Which quite frankly, wewere more than happy to do

because we figured all of you

would end up being a bunch of judgmental,

hypocritical, self-centeredreligious kooks.

You know what?

You kind of are.

But we're not any better.

What we did was really low.

We should probably be packingup and driving out of here.

Frankie, Jamal,

you're the only family I've ever had.

(slow instrumental music)

Until now.

This town and this church,

is starting to feel like home.

We wanna stay.

Whether or not you'll let us,

well I guess that's just up to you.

- Well now you all know I'vebeen coming to this church

since I was a baby.

And I can spot a phony.

And I've seen them comeand I've seen them go.

But these three are thebiggest phonies I've ever seen.

Oh, I knew they weren't preachers

but I also knew that Godcould take a old pair of shoes

and with a little polish and spit shine

have those things lookinglike they was new!

I know they helped steal our money.

They did that.

But they got it back.

I think we oughta keep these old shoes.

They just might turnout to be the best thing

to happen in this church.

(all applauding)

(fast gospel music)

- Church!

Without faith

It's impossible to please him

Without faith

So impossible to reach him

Without faith

You'll never know how much you need him

Everyone who comes toGod must believe his is

Without faith

It's impossible to please him

Without faith

So impossible to reach him

Without faith

You'll never know how much you need him

Everyone who comes toGod must believe he is

And he rewards

Faith

(all applauding)

- You know, I think you and I

can make some great music together.

- You can't sing!

(laughs) That's okay baby,I do like your style.

Hallelujah, praise the Lord.

- So what do you think?

Maybe one of these days you'll let me

take you for a ride inmy classy convertible?

Show the new and improvedme the hotspots around town?

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