3 Geezers! Page #4

I'm applying pressure to

both those carotid arteries.

I'll lock this technique on, in about 7 seconds

my attacker will pass out.

Now, you're a big strong guy.

- You wanna try that technique?

- Okay.

Okay, again. The rear choke, he

wraps the arm around the neck.

All right, let's slide this hand behind

that's gonna make it nice and tight.

Now from here, if I let him apply the choke,

he starts to cut off the blood... Hey, hey, hey...

that's gettin' tight.

He starts to... and, uh...

and...

Oh my god!

Oh! My god!!

Does anyone have a camera?

This'll be perfect for my Facebook page.

You guys pickin' up some

costumes for your grandkids?

- (mumbling)

- What?

- (mumbling)

- What?

Go f*** yourself.

Oh...

Douchebag says "what".

And I said "what".

Do you believe that salesman

talking about the grandchildren?

Like we came here for grandchildren.

- Do you believe that?

- What a nerd. Ooh!

This is the row.

- This is the row.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

- Sexy?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh-ho yeah!

Here! Try these on.

So how do I look?

Really scary.

Is the air conditioning on?

Seems a little cool in here.

Hey, old timers, you wanna buy

a map to the star's homes?

You got Brangelina?

- Sure.

- You gonna ask her out?

- It depends.

- Say, you got any black people in there?

- Tiger?

- Oh! He's my hero!

He's a master sexter!

Wait a minute.

- He's black?

- Yeah.

Really?

He's nice.

Nice costume.

You too.

Trick or treat!

That's a damn good question

you've asked, fellows.

This "Trick or Treat."

Quite the conundrum, really.

Having said that,

my costumed friends,

as fate would have it,

I, too, have a question.

Brace yourselves, it's a doozy.

Which one of you pricks can guess,

what I've buried under my house...

Where you going? Hey!

I got Reese's Pieces in here.

And Winston Lights, come back!

I'll be right back.

I gotta do somethin'.

I wasted a whole hour watchin'

this douchebag's TV show.

Happy Halloween.

Sir?

Are you... is this ding dong ditch?

By a hundred-year-old?

Is this you running away? Sir?

That's funny. That's very funny.

You're not... you're not moving

very fast, sir. I could...

come down there and stick a

candy bar up your f***in' ass.

If I felt like it.

Sir.

Have I done something to offend you?

In the past? I'm just curious

because I'm just sitting on my couch,

waiting for obnoxious children

dressed like Spiderman.

F*** you, sir.

F*** you.

Okay?

F*** you!

I hope you have a f***in'... horrible birthday,

if you ever have one... again.

Now I'm f***in' depressed.

Is this my man's place?

I think so.

- Hey, fellows.

- Trick or treat!

Come on, isn't there an age

limit on trick or treating?

Just give us some candy, b*tch.

Wow... well, Mr. Geezer, perhaps you've

had a little too much sugar, huh?

Look, I'm a rich f***er, how did you get in here?

Right? There's a security guy out there.

I don't like old people coming in and I just...

Get the f*** out of my place.

This is my house!

I didn't get any candy.

Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no.

So, who'd be the b*tch now, bi-atch?

So let's see, where we are right now.

What's this?

Hey, hey, hey! Shh, shh, shh! Guys, keep it down

just a little bit, okay? My wife's sleeping.

Is this it?

Oh, this is my office-slash-mancave.

- It's where I do most of my work.

- Where's the indoor pool, and the manservant?

Come on, inside voice, okay?

I gave Cheswick the night off.

Somebody wake me when it's time to

go, this place is boring as sh*t.

What's with all the boxes?

Are you moving?

No. No, um...

A while back, my... my mother had a bad

fall and broke her hip, so you know,

we had to put her in a rest home, I'm...

- I'm goin' through her stuff.

- Where is she?

- Nancy Gaye.

- Jesus Christ!

Why in the world would

you put her there?

- What? What's wrong with it?

- Talk about boring, why don't you just ship her straight to the morgue?

Come on, it's not that bad.

- "It's not that bad?"

- When was the last time you were there?

Another ungrateful kid.

I just...

I just can't see her like that.

Will somebody help me down from here?

- Nice wheels!

- Yeah, I'm proud of Buster Hymen.

I got a dual 12-volt, 95 amp-hour,

deep-cycle, lead-acid sealed battery

with removable armrests for maximum maneuverability,

there's tracks in back, for snow, mud, and deep sand

high performance hybrid tires for off-roadin'

leather seat,

and double-reinforced hand grips for

superior handling and enhanced control.

What do you need all that for?

Victor!

Damn!

Come on, come on, come on, hurry!

Come on, you can!

Congratulations.

Welcome everyone.

It is so nice to see you all.

I am excited about our project today.

Because...

we are going to try something a little different.

Come on in.

Come on, don't be shy.

This is Luke, everyone.

Luke, you just step right up here and

turn around and, um...

Well...

- Oh, my!

- Meh!

No.

Well. Oh, Bernard.

- You're joining us today.

- They canceled Bingo.

Well, it's very nice to have you.

Just come right over here,

I have a chair for you, right next to Victor.

Okay, here's the chair.

Oops, there you go. And...

Never thought I'd be sittin' in a

girlie class with peckerwoods like you.

We got a nude model today.

- Go on!

- Yep.

Big titties?

Oh... very well endowed.

Well, wait till she gets a load of Big Sexy.

Okay, class, now, let's begin

by entering the clay with our

hands and taking hold of it.

Yes, let it envelop your imagination...

as it does your fingertips.

Oh, become one with its and soft, pliable wetness.

Let go of your inhibitions and

mold the piece to your will.

Now, maybe you want to focus

on one certain area...

Like, um...

the eyes, or...

the feet...

for example.

Or, maybe just the overall

essence of the model.

Oh, knead and stretch,

pull, prod, and twist the clay

into submission.

Uh... Well, let's see what we have here.

Oh, my! That's very van Gogh, Rex.

Oh, why that's excellent realism, Ruth.

And very nice, Mary.

Mary?

Ah-hah...

Oh, Victor!

Victor, um...

Yes!

And Bernard!

Bernard, that's very imaginative.

That is very good use of

personal interpretation.

Oh, and please. Please feel free to use your

hands on the model, to mold what you see.

I mean, after all, art is as much

about feeling as it is about seeing.

Damn, this must be my lucky day.

Oh, I wish it were me.

Come on, I'll take you to the model.

All rightie? Here we go.

And I have a chair for you... have

a seat right here, there you go.

And I'll just wheel you

right up here, and here...

let's begin with the foot.

Oh! Ooh...

Big Sexy likes your feet.

Oh! And you work out, too.

You need to shave more often, baby.

Ooh, that's hot!

Come to papa, Sugar Bush!

Oh-oh! We got us a problem here.

I don't think you sugar,

because that sure ain't no bush.

Gotcha.

Well, I hope you get a refund from the rabbi.

Still your turn, Rex.

What's, uh... what's that little transaction there?

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