A-Haunting We Will Go Page #3

Synopsis: Stan and Ollie get involved with con men, crooks, a genial magician, and two interchangeable coffins with disastrous but funny results.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Alfred L. Werker
Production: 20th Century Fox Film Corporation
 
IMDB:
6.4
Year:
1942
68 min
416 Views


Pardon me, sir, but have you seen|two gentlemen about this tall?

- It's very important.|- I don't believe I have.

Thank you, sir.|Well, if it isn't Buffalo Bill.

My dad used to tell me about you.

- You've seen the picture of Buffalo Bill.|- On the back of a nickel.

I didn't recognize you.

- Those are a lot of fun.|- Not for us, they're not.

- Have you got an Inflato?|- I used to have one.

- What was that you call it?|- Inflato, taken from the word "inflation."

Money just poured out|when the gentleman sold it.

Yeah, it was a good buy for $50|before it went haywire.

You mean to say|you paid $50 for this?

No, 49. We've got a dollar|tied up in the gears.

- I haven't seen one of these for ages.|- Where have you been?

- Do you belong to the O.C.C.?|- I'm a magician.

A magician? Well!

I used to dabble in the art|of legerdemain myself.

Pick a card. Any card.

- Now look at it.|- I have it.

Place it in your pocket.

Now concentrate very, very deeply.

- He's been fooling me with this for years.|- Yeah.

- Ace of spades.|- By George, that's marvelous.

- Card, please.|- You'll find it in your friend's hat.

Say, that's wonderful.|How did you do it?

It's a secret.

- Give me those.|- That's...

All right, you guys,|stop bothering Mr. Dante here.

We're getting into Milledgeville|and that's where you get off.

We'll pay you|when we get Charlie to Dayton.

- Sure.|- Why are you putting them off?

- They tried to beat a dinner bill for $6.80.|- We did not...

I assure you that our intentions|were perfectly honorable.

I'll pay their bill.

It's up to you, but for my dough, you're|just encouraging a couple of con men.

I'll take that chance.

That's where you get off.

Sorry, boys, but you can buy these|at any novelty shop for $ 1.50.

- You mean we've been victimized?|- I'm afraid so.

- Ollie, we've been cheated.|- How can we ever repay you?

With the $50 we're gonna get|for Charlie.

- We can give...|- Are you stopping in Dayton?

I'll be playing|at the Temple Theatre.

Then we'll see you tomorrow.|You've been very kind. Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Bill.|- Goodbye.

FERNDALE|SANITARIUM

Operator, I wanna talk to attorney|Malcolm Kilgore in Dayton...

...at Riverdale 3-4786.|- Darby got in all right.

- Dixie phoned. He's on the way over now.|- Shh.

- Good.|- What?

This is Dr. Travelyan|at the Ferndale Sanitarium.

All right, I'll hold the line.

MALCOLM KILGORE|ATTORNEY AT LAW

Yes, yes, this is Kilgore.

This is Dr. Bradley Travelyan|of the Ferndale Sanitarium.

A few days ago I read an item|in the paper regarding Egbert Norton.

- Have you information regarding him?|- Well, I have a patient here...

...apparently the victim|of a hit-and-run.

For three weeks now,|he's been between life and death.

This morning he spoke for the first time.|Said he was Egbert Norton.

Identify himself? Oh, I suppose he can.

But won't you recognize him|when you see him?

gbert Norton|ran away from home when he was a boy.

As a consequence, I've never seen him.|He should be able to identify himself...

...by a very unusual ring given him|by his uncle. That is, if he still has it.

I have a duplicate of the ring|in my possession.

Why, yes,|he does have an unusual ring.

I happened to noticed it|when I dressed an abrasion on his arm.

That sounds encouraging.|When can he come to my office?

In his condition, a trip to town at this|time might have serious consequences.

But on the other hand, a visit from you|might be very helpful to the boy.

Fine. We're located in Ferndale|on the road to Cincinnati.

Huh? Say, 1:
00?

Oh, that will be quite satisfactory.

Yes, I'll see you then, sir.|Goodbye.

Well, gentlemen, that calls for a drink.|Has anyone a bottle?

It's Dixie.

- Hi, fellas.|- You got him?

He's in the box.|Nice going, Dixie.

- Steady.|- Come on, give us a hand, Doc.

- Easy now, easy.|- Keep punching, Darby, old boy.

- We'll have you out in a shake.|- Gently, now.

Are you breathing, Darby?

- Lf he ain't, we're all dead gooses.|- Geese.

- Watch out for that first step.|- Don't tip it. Easy.

- You're putting all the weight on me.|- Never mind that.

Bring him in. Put it down.|That's it.

- All right, Darby, you're home.|- Open up.

- You're amongst friends.|- Darby.

- Darby!|- I'll get my respirator.

Get me a jimmy.|Get out of the way.

Come on, help me here.

All right, there we are.

- Well, can you tie that?|- Boy, he sure spoiled fast.

He must've ate something.

- This is a mummy.|- An imitation one at that.

You wouldn't be pulling a fast one,|would you, Dixie?

Who, me?|Have you blown your topper?

- Where's Darby?|- I don't know...

Hold it, Joseph, my boy.

I've just made|a very significant discovery.

These handbills belong to Dante,|the Magician.

- You mean, he made Darby disappear?|- Inadvertently, yes.

- Find out if Dante's playing Dayton.|- He is. I read he's at the Temple Theatre.

My deduction is correct.|This must be Dante's.

- By coincidence, identical with ours.|- Let's go. Temple Theatre!

Hold on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.|We must do this with the utmost care.

Any one of you might be recognized.

Since I can walk the streets|with reasonable impunity...

...I think I'm the logical one to go.

Yeah, I guess he's right.

Mr. Kilgore. I almost forgot.

Hello, operator.|Get me Riverdale 3-4786.

Mr. Malcolm Kilgore. Hurry, please.

Yes, yes.

A relapse?

Oh, that's too bad, doctor.

Tomorrow? I think I can make that.|Same time?

Good. I'll be there.

Just a minute.|Where are you guys going?

- We have an appointment with Mr. Dante.|- He didn't leave word.

- We owe him some money.|- You owe Dante money? That's a laugh.

- Yes, and we're going to pay him too.|- Yeah, and that's a bigger laugh.

One hundred,|200, 300, 400...

Pardon me, miss. Could you tell me|where I could find Mr. Dante?

- On the stage, I think.|- Thank you very much.

Stanley, must you touch everything|you see? Oh!

Oh.

Let that alone. Oh!

- Oh, Mr. Dante.|- Well, hello.

We came to pay you|the money we owe.

- Oh, thank you.|- Don't mention it.

Gee, it's too bad nobody showed up|to see you, but we'll stay.

- Everything's ready, Mr. Dante.|- Good.

This is Tommy White,|my stage manager.

- Hardy's my name.|- How do you do?

- And this is my associate, Mr. Laurel.|- How do you do?

- Glad to know you.|- Why?

- George, bring that booth forward.|- Yes, sir.

Right about there.|That's good.

- Having telephone trouble?|- No, just a little experiment of mine.

Gee, you're awful late. We've had|telephones for years. Haven't we, Ollie?

It's an illusion, silly.

- Oh.|- Could I be of any help to you?

We wanna try the illusion.|Is everything ready, Tommy?

Yes, I think so.

If one of you would step into that booth,|we can give it a try.

I'll be tickled delighted.|I certainly will.

- Oh!|- Oh, I'm sorry, Ollie, really.

- Look, there's a booth over there.|- Thank you.

I won't be a minute, Ollie.

That's quite all right.

- You got two dimes for a nickel?|- Yes.

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Lou Breslow

Louis Breslow (born Lewis Breslow; July 18, 1900 – November 10, 1987) was an American screenwriter and film director. He wrote for 70 films between 1928 and 1955. He also directed seven films between 1932 and 1951 and wrote scripts for both Laurel and Hardy in their first two films at 20th Century Fox, and Abbott and Costello. Lou Breslow married film actress and comedian Marion Byron in 1932, and remained married until her death in 1985. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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