A Bad Idea Gone Wrong Page #6

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- I don't care.

- She is not a good person!

I mean, I know it's not

easy to be a good person

when times are tough,

but that's how you know

if you're a good person in

the first place, you know?

- Yeah, I d-do, that, I used to,

I know exactly what you mean.

- Let's go make a plan.

We dig, under and out.

- I don't think we have that

kinda time.

- Ok, um,

we set a fire.

- Where?

- In the house.

- In the fireplace?

- No, we set the house on fire.

Lots of smoke, confusion,

and then we slip away

under the, uh, cover of chaos.

- Or we die in a

terrible house fire!

- Ok.

Then same idea, no fire.

- What's a fireless fire?

- We just go, trip the alarm,

and, uh, hide in the trees.

- Ok. Cops come, look around,

think it's a false alarm,

and then, uh, we get outta here.

- All right, that's progress,

but we're still inside the gate.

The whole community is fenced

in, we're like zoo animals.

- So we just climb the fence.

- Ok, uh, if we can,

that would put us inside

another gated community.

- I, who are these people

trying to protect

themselves from, each other?

Other marauding gangs of Volvo

drivers we don't know about?

- We need the code.

- I've looked everywhere.

- Well, maybe it's in

the garage, that lockbox?

- No.

- You found the key?

- No, it wasn't, um, with the

other keys.

I haven't seen it, so it

probably just, you know.

- Just what?

- I don't know.

- Well, might as well

look for it.

It might be our only hope.

- Yeah, ok.

What are you doing?

- If we open the doors of the

rooms we've already searched,

then we know we've

already been there.

- We're looking for a tiny

key or a four-digit code.

Do you think that you searched

these rooms

well enough to just walk away...

- I'm working in broad strokes.

- Ok, fine, I don't.

- Whoa, what the f***?

Whoa, watch the door!

- What the f*** is going on?

- Who did this?

- How did they get in here?

- No, no, no!

- What the f*** is

going on here?

- Just leave it, leave me!

- We're not gonna leave you! I'll be fine,

just worry about yourself!

- Who did this?

- How did they get in?

- Nobody!

- Who?

- How many? Nobody did it, there's

nobody here!

- There's nobody here?

- No.

- Then who tied you up?

- I did.

- So you were just gonna

sell us up the river?

- Don't get pissed off at me

just because I had a plan!

- How'd you tie yourself

up like that?

- That's not the point, Marlon!

- She picks locks, she ties

herself up in elaborate knots!

You don't find that a curious

skill set for a dog Walker?

- I'm not a dog Walker.

- See? All right, they show up,

you're gagged and bound,

so you're just a fellow victim

of this senseless crime.

- You're the ones who

locked us in,

I'm just looking for a way out!

- Devious, very, very devious!

- Why are your clothes off?

- Look, it was just one idea.

Probably not the best

one, can we just move on?

- But why are they ripped?

- Again, the clock is ticking,

let's not waste time

reliving past mistakes.

If I needed to

and only if they were not

buying my story, I might have

had to go with more of a,

kind of a sexual assault angle.

- What?

- Devious, dirty little...

- ok, looking at it

from your perspective,

I can see how that was probably

too far.

- Probably?

- Definitely, definitely

too far,

and I'm so glad it didn't come

to that,

but you know,

there are always, like,

a couple clunkers when

you're brainstorming.

- What, we weren't

brainstorming!

You were setting us up

for charges of kidnapping,

of, uh, assault and battery,

and rape!

- And burglary.

- That doesn't concern me

right now.

- Well, that's where

we're back to, burglary.

- I haven't taken anything,

so breaking and entering, maybe.

- We didn't break

anything, we used the key.

We did stain the rug, but

that's not technically broken.

- The point is,

we're in trouble!

- But trouble is

just an opportunity

that got turned around,

am I right?

- Yeah. What kind of fortune

cookie bullshit is that?

- That's not bullshit, that

is solid, deep thinking!

- Hey, fish, uh, you know where

you found everything else?

- What about it?

- Are you sure you didn't

miss anything?

- Yes, I'm sure I didn't

miss anything!

I don't need the accusations,

thank you very much.

- Worth looking at, though.

- What, eh, wh-why are

you taking her side?

- I'm not takin' anyone's side,

I'm just sayin' it's

worth double-checking.

- Ugh, that's f***ed up!

- I can't feel anything.

- Told ya.

- Get way back in there.

- I am!

- Maybe we should

get a flashlight,

is there a flashlight anywh...

What is this?

- Nothing, it's, it's

not what you think it is!

- What do I think it is?

- Oh my god!

- I don't know.

- All right, give!

- Oh, f***!

- I just didn't think you

needed the distraction!

We're trying to get out

of here, y'know, so I.

- Holy sh*t!

- Sometimes I wake

up and think Leo is there

in the bed beside me, and my

heart sinks when I realize.

He used to say,

"trouble is just an opportunity

that got turned around,"

but I don't know if I'll

ever get turned back around.

Poor Carl walked in on me crying

during a documentary about

Niagara Falls.

Everything, every feeling

was still right there.

I wish I could just have a

tomato juice and calm down.

It worked for Leo,

I'd have to drink about

a gallon at this point.

Things got tough with Leo,

and I wasn't a good person,

so maybe I was never a good

person in the first place.

I know that now.

- Why would she cut out

the pages of her own.

- All that time with

Jessica, I never,

she dumped you, left.

I'm still here, always.

We've been talkin' about

this heist for forever

and, you know,

a little bit of excitement.

Doin' our own thing, some

teamwork, but,

now it's just the same sh*t!

You had Jessica,

now you have her!

- Her?

She's gonna tell the

cops that I raped her!

- I believe I apologized.

- This is the whole reason

that we broke in here.

- No, it's the whole

reason you broke in here!

- This is crazy, this, this

changes everything!

She still...

I know the code.

- What?

- I know the code,

it's our anniversary.

- No, you don't know!

- No, I know!

- No, you don't know!

You're gonna f*** around

and get us all arrested

just 'cause you read some

cotton candy thoughts

in her little girl diary,

but you don't know the code!

- Ok, now,

we haven't been at our best,

any of us,

and maybe someday,

we'll all sit down,

break bread and have our

apologies and tender moments

and whatnot and that'll be nice,

I'm sure.

But right now, this is over.

I'm getting us out of here,

because I know.

There.

Now, let's go.

- F***!

- What, that can't be...

Let's go, we gotta run,

hide in the bushes!

- I don't understand!

- We're f***ed, we run,

let's go!

- Wait, we have to stay!

- What are you, nuts?

- No, there's only one way out.

- Yeah, the door, let's go!

- No, it's not the door.

It's him, he's right.

He knows.

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