A Boyfriend for My Wife Page #4

in a corner ofmy hut

because theydon'tknow the way...

or the mountains

l know they're looking forme

because they've been shamed

when l made offwith you

in theirrush theyfailed

They want to kill the thief

Who made offwith a woman

they want...

No, it's spectacular.

No, l'dprefer not to talkabout it.

lt upsets me.

That's OK, take care.

-Yes, can l help?

-l'm here to see Mr. Kepelsky.

-You're from the cake shop, right?

-No, l'm not.

l'm notfrom anywhere

and l'm here to see Kepelsky.

Ah, sorry, one last time...

your name is?

Andrea Ferro, and l'm here to see

Mr. Kepelsky.

Yes, right.

She's out of her mind.

She's crazy!

She plans to get 45 people

into that living room!

The house is tiny.

No, l'm not going to the party.

She weighs... she must weigh 39 kilos.

You can't wear all that

if you weigh 39 kilos.

Of course... absolutely, hang on.

l'll be right with you.

No, oh, God. Can you believe it?

The carnival guy we were going to

interview has just cancelled.

That isjust so rude,

because l do myjob, see?

And if you tell me at the last...

No, l'm not going.

With 50 people there...

Excuse me...

Are you going to attend to me or not?

lf not l'll go home...

while you send

your text messages.

Didn't you collect

your pension today? Or...

lt's not my fault.

Damian's on the air,

that's why he

hasn't come to see you.

Pension? ls that meant

to be an insult?

so that comment...

if it's meant as an insult...

so that comment...

if it's meant as an insult...

l'd have to throw myself in front of

a bus. Maybe l should...

-What's going on?

-l don't know. This lady here...

-What's wrong?

-l don't know.

She got nervous for some reason.

-l'm here to see Mr. Kepelsky.

-Ah, and you are...?

Andrea Ferro.

-Ah, you're Tenso's wife.

-Yes.

-How are you?

-Fine. l'm here to see Kepelsky.

-Yes, that's me.

-Right, is your father here?

No, l'm in charge of the radio.

Oh, so you're in charge?

Pleased to meet you. How are you?

-Fine.

-Sorry. OK.

-You're OK?

-Yes, fine.

She was on the phone

and l had to wait a bit.

Come in and take a seat.

-Yes, thanks.

-You're welcome.

-Hello.

-Hello.

No, l'm under a lot of stress.

The thing with that girl was

that she got me mad...

-Sorry.

-l see.

-Can l sit down?

-Go ahead, yes.

-Does that often happen?

-What?

-You getting mad?

-Oh, no, no.

Butwhen l see someone with one of

those bloody phones...

and l'm leftwaiting...

-Shall l leave?

-No, please. Sorry.

-So you're a radio announcer.

-Yes.

So l speakto you?

That's right.

What sort of format interests you?

What have you done in the past?

Uh... well, l have a problem

with the word ''format''.

lt'd be easier if l told you what

doesn't interest me.

Okay.

l'm not interested in a traditional

sort of radio programme...

with a presenter, reporters trying to

be funny, with music and opinion.

l hate to thinkthat the listener...

has a lower lQ than the presenter...

And l don't want a woman...

sitting there just to read

the temperature...

or talking about the traffic problems.

l think it's sexist, it's... pathetic.

What else do you detest?

-What else do l detest?

-Yes...

-Anything else you can't stand?

-Uh...

Other things l can't stand? Many.

-For example...?

-Loads.

Well, coincidence seekers...

tend to get up my nose...

useless people who spend their time...

looking out for coincidences.

You know, your birthday,

birth sign, whatever.

What else?

Models irritate me.

People who smile all the time,

false modesty.

Effusive thanks...

especially from the family...

that puts me on my guard.

when they come out of the screen

at you and then recede.

when they come out of the screen

at you and then recede.

-Wallpaper.

-Especially of a beach...

and with sunglasses.

The scene.

-The scene?

-Yeah. The idea of ''the scene''.

Being in, being out.

Have you ever listened

to our programmes?

No, never been able to.

Never had the time.

-You knowwhat l'd like you to do?

-Yes?

Bring me a list...

of all those things you hate,

and we can put something together,

give you a space in the morning,

so you can vent on air all your hates

as naturally as you're doing now.

-l'd come every morning?

-Yeah, let's see...

l think it'll work.

-lt's for 500 pesos, you know?

-Oh... no, l don't know.

-What do you mean, you don't know?

-The money.

-How much do you want?

-No, l don't want to negotiate.

No, not at all.

l'm a dreadful negotiator.

l don't know, double?

-Double?

-Yes.

We're a small radio station,

l don't have that sort of budget.

No, of course.

So we can forget it

until the radio grows.

-Thanks all the same.

-No, hang on a bit...

l'll consult, yeah?

We'll see whatwe can do.

-Alright.

-Will you wait?

-Damian Kepelsky, how are you?

-Ah, Kepelsky. How's everything?

-Damian Kepelsky, how are you?

-Ah, Kepelsky. How's everything?

Great. Your wife's here,

but she won't go with 500.

She wants twice that.

-What do you mean twice that?

-lfyou like l'llplay it tough...

No, she won't, l know her, but...

speak to her,

No, she won't, l know her, but...

speak to her,

tell her it's a trial run,

and if it works...

-she'll have a rise.

-No, that's what l said...

-And what did she say?

-No, nothing...

Whatd'you mean nothing?

-Work on her...

-Offer her 700.

She's not worth 700, no way.

No, listen, Kepelsky...

Offer her 650, and l'll hold.

Go on.

OK, hang on.

We could do 650.

We could do 650.

Um... no, no way... it's no good.

-What's your minimum?

-l don't know, 800.

The f***in' b*tch...!

She wants to bankrupt me...

No, it's OK.

But l run a small business.

l barely make it to the end of the

month. l can't afford that amount.

-Just a sec, she wants 800 pesos.

-Listen, listen.

lt's the price of freedom, Tenso.

Get her out of the house.

-And it's money that comes back in.

-No...

Go on...

Hello.

OK, do it.

Pay her 800 pesos.

Look...

Would it bother you if l gave

you a cheque?

-A cheque to cash?

-Postdated 120 days?

No, 120 days would ruin me.

No, l thought so.

OK, look, from the 1st to the 5th...

my secretary will take you the cash.

-God, you're mean.

-l'm mean, l'm mean...

But l'm the one paying the money!

-What are you doing here?

-Where are you going?

-What are you doing here?

-Where are you going?

What does it matter to you?

Excuse me...

lf you like, we can have a coffee

and then you can leave.

-What do you think?

-No, l'm sorry.

-Go on.

-l have some things to do so l can't.

Just two minutes.

You can't go home with wet hair.

A coffee?

No, really, l'll just wait here.

l'll stay here, thanks.

-Can l ask you something?

-Yes.

But do you have any idea?

But do you have any idea?

Thanks.

Hold this...

Have one.

-Shall l take one?

-Yes, go ahead.

Thanks.

Toffees, chocolates?

Now, tellme.

Sex:
how were things going?

l don't know. You speak.

l don't get the mechanism:

Me or her?

She asks and we speak...

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