A Hole in the Head Page #6

- I know.

I like you looking better. You look much

better without the tears and your chin on...

Remember that song we used

to sing about the chin on the ground?

The Ant Song.

Next time you're found

with your chin on the ground

There's a lot to be learned,

so look around

Just what makes that little old ant

Think he'll move a big rubber plant?

Anyone knows an ant can't...

move a rubber tree plant

But he's got high hopes

He's got high hopes

He's got high-in-the-sky

apple-pie hopes

So anytime you're feeling low

Instead of letting go,

Just remember the ant

Oops,

there goes another rubber tree plant

Oops, there goes

another rubber tree plant

Oops,

there goes another rubber tree plant

When troubles call and your back's

to the wall, there's a lot to be learned

That wall could fall

Once there was a silly old ram

Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam

No one could make that ram scram

He kept butting that dam

Cos he had high hopes

He had high hopes

He had high apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes

- So anytime you're feeling low

- Never let go

Just remember that ram

Oops, there goes a billion-kilowatt dam

Oops, there goes

a billion-kilowatt dam

Oops, there goes a billion-kilowatt dam

You better have high hopes

Keep your high hopes

Keep those high

apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes

- A problem's just a toy balloon

- They'll be bursting soon

- They're just bound to go pop

- (pops)

Oops, there goes another problem

Kerplop!

Oops, there goes another problem

Kerplop!

Oops, there goes another problem

Kerplop!

Kerplop!

Tell you what.

I'll tell them to bring over the broad.

We'll take a look at her and if we both

like her, maybe she'll have herself a deal.

- What if she don't like you?

- Why, you!

- Whoops!

- Why, you!

(they laugh)

(music plays)

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.

Well, have to go now.

- Goodbye.

- Bye.

Tell me the truth,

you think I look too fat in this?

- I don't know.

- Never mind.

Why are you so nervous?

Who's marrying the woman, you or him?

- Tony.

- Sophie.

- Mario, where did you find the pastry?

- Pastry?

- Sophie, you're a gasser.

- Don't, Tony!

- You hear that, Mario?

- Gasser.

Look, Tony, I want you to put on a suit.

- Something quiet.

- A quiet suit.

- Something borrowed? Something blue?

- Tony, and a plain-cut tie.

I'll be right with you. I gotta make one call.

- Get me Sid Schwartz.

- Come on, let's go outside and wait.

- Tell the truth, think Tony will like her?

- No.

Why do you say that?

How do you know so much?

Did you ask me?

I'm warning you.

Mrs Rogers is a very sensitive woman.

If you say one word to hurt her feelings...

You're making such a big thing here.

A woman meets a man and gets married.

A simple business proposition.

Marriage isn't simple, it isn't a business

and it isn't a proposition.

You're getting crazy in your old age.

First you're lonesome, so you want to

come down here and take the little boy.

Well, fine.

So we get down here - on an airplane.

Now you drag some woman over by

her hair and, boom, you're a matchmaker.

Why? So the little boy can have

a home here, not back with us.

What do you want? Do you want

to take the boy or leave the boy?

- I just want everybody to be happy.

- Good. Now you're crying.

(Mario) You're making me crazy.

If you can deliver me those beat-up hotels

for a price like not over five million,

cash, by the way, for tax reasons,

you've got yourself a deal.

What do you think about that,

you real-estate thief?

What?

Who said I'm getting thrown out

of the Garden of Eden?

The bank? Don't be ridiculous,

my fair-feathered friend.

My brother's backing me

and he's here at the hotel right now.

Furthermore, he can buy you

and the bank and the ground it's built on.

- How do you like that?

- Who's the woman?

- A rumour like that spreads, I'm dead.

- Who's the woman?

- What are you talking? What woman?

- The woman you're meeting.

Oh, some hatchet-face

my brother wants me to meet.

- If Abe Diamond is talking...

- Who's the woman?

Knock it off, will you?

My brother's out there.

- Well, good. Maybe I better ask him.

- Hey.

It's nothing, really.

My brother, before he gives me money

he makes me take castor oil.

- He wants you to marry the castor oil.

- Come off it. Don't go getting dramatic.

Now, look, we can go to dinner.

We'll go to the Boom-Boom Room.

- You have to meet this woman.

- So what?

Ten, fifteen minutes,

I'll brush her off, then I'll meet you.

I got a beautiful idea.

We go to the airport, jump on a plane,

we go to Cuba, 59 minutes.

Fly now, pay later. You got it?

Go down there, a few cha-cha-chas...

I'll buy you a Cuban breakfast and home

before the morning papers. That a date?

Oh, Tony.

- Tony, do you want me?

- Oh, you know it.

Baby, when we get to Cuba, let's keep

right on going. Let the wind blow.

- Let the... What?

- They'll make a prisoner out of you here.

Those squares out on that porch,

they'll chain you down.

Wait a minute. All I gotta do

is hold onto this hotel for a while,

get my idea to Jerry Marks

and I'll be on Easy Street.

Honey, you've got wings.

You don't have to be a kiwi bird.

- Don't call me that.

- This is our tailor-made opportunity.

- Look, leave the kid with your brother.

- Ally?

Of course. He's better off with them, Tony.

You know that.

No, Shirley. No, I couldn't.

You know he's better off with them.

Why fight me?

- Oh, excuse me.

- Do you ever think of knocking, Fred?

- What do you want?

- Sheriff's out there, chief.

- OK, tell him I'll be right out.

- Yes, sir.

Baby.

Trust me, honey.

Don't throw rocks at me, not now.

Let me get this eviction notice off my back

and we'll talk about it. Will you? OK?

Well, I don't know.

If I had one brain in working condition...

I'll see you at dinner? A date?

- If you stand me up, I'll flatten you.

- Scout's honour.

Wear something flashy, hm?

- Sheriff. How's things in Dodge City?

- How are you, Tony?

I know.

Tomorrow morning I'm dead, right?

- I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry.

- You can save yourself a trip.

- I got the money. Everything's settled.

- Good thing. I hope so.

- Me, too.

- Knock it off, will you?

- If Jerry Marks calls, I'll be in my room.

- By the way, chief, congratulations.

- For what?

- (hums wedding march)

- May all your troubles be little ones.

- What?

- Ally told me.

- He told you what?

- You're getting married.

- He told you that I'm...

He didn't just come right out and say it...

- Hi, Pop.

- All right, wiseguy, start talking.

- Got you a present.

- Never mind that.

- Why tell everybody I'm getting married?

- I didn't tell anybody.

No, you didn't tell anybody.

- You got flowers, even.

- 29 cents.

I think you and I better have a little talk.

Come here.

What are you making

such a big deal for?

What do you expect,

Marilyn Monroe to walk in that door?

Some old dried-up tomato,

friend of your aunt's.

I mean, what can she look like? Why

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