A Little Bit Zombie Page #3

- No. I'm not...

super strongly

opinionated.

All I want is

to be content.

Satisfied.

Not struggling

or hungry for anything.

- Well, then

you're already dead.

Don't you want more

to live for?

- I'm happy

with the way things are.

Please, just...

just be nice.

- Fine.

If that's what you want.

- It is. Thank you.

- Are you feeling

any better?

- I'm still really hungry,

actually.

- Well, I wouldn't

recommend the quiche.

It was made

by a f***ing gutter c*nt.

- Whoa!

- Sorry, I'm just getting

my fill while I can.

Don't tell Craig

I was smoking, K?

I'm going to go hose the puke

off your bride to be.

- Max. These readings are like

nothing I've ever seen before.

- That piece o' sh*t's

a thousand years old, Penny.

The warranty is long gone.

- Max, the orb is fine, OK?

It's these readings--

they're just, uh,

different.

We have to interpret them.

- That's your department,

sweet cheeks.

- Look, I,

I can't be sure, but, um...

I think we might have

a mutation on our hands.

- Mutated zombies?

Bring it!

- No, um, I don't think

it's a zombie, actually.

- I thought that thing only

searched out meat puppets.

- Well, I mean,

it could be, but I also t--

Max? Max... Max!

Max! Jesus Christ!

- OK, where's all the little

lightning bolts?

- Uh, well,

well, that's, that's the thing.

I mean, I mean,

the charges indicate

the presence

of zombie DNA, so when one is

near, it activates.

But this flickering could

indicate a hybrid.

- Hybrid? What, you mean

like a f***in' hippie car?

- No, Max, like a...

f***ing resistant host.

- Oh, Christ, that reminds me

of my ex-girlfriend.

- Max, this could be

exactly what I've been

looking for-- Waaaah!

- Oh, Penny, for Christ's sake,

that's the last time you drive.

- Look Max,

this could be exactly

what I've been looking for, OK?

A person with the genetic

make-up to resist the symptoms!

- I'm tellin' ya, Penny,

the only good zombie is

a dead zombie.

- No, no, no. This could be

why the orb has been acting

so strangely.

And if we can

capture this... person,

we could extract their DNA

and find a vaccine, Max!

- Yeah, well,

dream on.

- Hey.

- Oh, hey, buddy!

- Where you guys going?

- Into town. You wanna come?

- No, Steve should stay here

and get some rest.

- Baby, I am so sorry about--

- Ah, it's OK.

It's just... you're not

feeling well. You know?

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Ooh! Ugh...

Just... go lie down.

- K.

- Yeah.

- Have fun!

We won't!

- Max! Max! Pull in!

Pull in here!

- Oh, Sarah, it looks

like you're not gonna

get any sun this weekend.

It's OK! I'll book you

a spray tan before the wedding.

Hi. Are you guys lost?

- Oh, uh, no. We, um, are

actually here because--

- Have you kids seen

any zombies.

- Seriously?

- Yeah,

we're looking for, uh,

a, uh, undead

creature. Humanoid-lookin'.

Possibly, uh, droolin'

and, uh,

eatin' people's brains.

- OK, what my associate is

trying to say is that there has

been a Stage 1 outbreak--

- Oh, come on, Penny,

we haven't got time for that.

- I recognize you guys

from somewhere!

- Here we go.

- No, I totally saw you guys

online!

the only good zombie is

a dead zombie.

- That's ridiculous!

- F***.

No, f*** you!

- Ahhhhhhhhh!

- F*** you!

- What were you doing

on a website called

A-Wholes.com, Craig?

- You wanted to experiment!

Never mind that. All right,

no, seriously, you guys are

f***ing hilarious!

And you, dude, you've got

some real talent, all right?

"Only good zombie's

a dead zombie!"

So f***in' cheese,

that is awesome, man!

Eww, gross! What the f***?!

- What the f***?

You're the f***!

- Craig, get in the car!

- Why the f*** do I gotta

get in the car? He should get

in the car. F***er spit on me!

- Just get in the car, Craig!

- Yeah, Craig get in the car.

- Get in the van, Max.

- Don't tell me

to get in the van, Penny.

- Max, I need you

to trust my judgement

right now and get in the van.

- You want me to get in the van?

I'll get in the f***in' van.

- Thank you, Max!

I'm sorry. Um, he's been

under a lot of stress lately.

- Right.

- Hey, P!

- Yeah?

- This is what I think

of your f***in' judgement!

- Whoa! Max! Max, no!

Oh, my God!

- Ha-ha-ha! F***ing hilarious!

- Shut up!

- Max, what did you do?

- F***...

- Oh, my God. This is bad.

Uh... do you have

any, uh, crazy glue?

- No. We have to go now.

- OK, no, I understand, um,

but IF you see anything

that's out of the ordinary,

you can give us a call

right there. Penel--

that's me on the bottom there.

And I also have this

for you.

Um... if you could

just help--

It sticks. Can you grab that?

- Yeah, no problem.

- Right here is... this!

- Ah.

- It's complimentary,

and you can just give it a read.

When you have a moment.

- Uh-huh.

- Uh, sorry to bother you.

yeah. OK, Bye.

- OK. Bye-bye.

- Max! Wait!

Wait! Max! Max!

- What a bunch of crazies.

This is not funny!

Max, it's not funny!

- Undead creature?

Humanoid-looking. Yeah.

Probably drooling...

and eating somebody's...

Ohhhh!

Eating somebody's brains.

Ugh!

Ugh!

Brains?

Ah!

Mm!

Mm!

I want brai--

Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm!

Mm-mmm! Mm-mmm! Mm-mmm!

No I don't! No I don't!

I want, um...

I want a...!

Pecan pie!

Mmm!

Pecan pie! Mmm!

Mmm! Yeah!

This is so delicious!

Mmm! Mmm!

Damn it!

I want brains.

Ugh!

Oh, God!

I'm a zombie!

I'm a god damned zombie.

Tina's gonna kill me.

No.

Yes.

Groovy.

Ouch!

Ahhhh...

Whew!

All right,

you little bastards.

Food chain ends here.

- ? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

- Ah!

Ah!

- ? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

? Oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh ?

? Whoa oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh ?

- Oh, my God,

it's moving.

Oh.

I don't know, Muffins.

Maybe I should just give up,

turn myself in.

I'm a pretty crappy zombie.

Come here.

Come here, big guy.

Ohhhh.

Are you scared?

Sorry I scared you, buddy.

You thought I was going

to eat you, didn't you?

Yeah, you thought

I was going to eat you.

You thought I was going

to eat your brain!

Wooo!

Did you take

your f***ing adrenaline?

- Steve.

I don't know how

you think you're gonna eat

an entire watermelon--

- Hi!

- Let me get this straight.

You think

that you are a zombie?

- Little bit.

- Tina, this is ridiculous!

Look at the pressure

that you're putting on him

for this stupid wedding!

- What?!

My rabbit just died!

- Oh, God,

it was a glorified rat!

- Stop it! You heard the guy

in the driveway. They said

they were looking for me.

- Oh, God.

- Steve, this is the real world,

OK? That guy was a psycho.

There are no such thing

as zombies!

- Then how do you explain

the brains? Ugh! Damn it!

- Oh, my God. Gross!

My fianc doesn't eat brains.

- Ugh.

Can we please not say

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