A Prairie Home Companion Page #4

There won't be anything left

on the radio except what?

People yellin' at you

and computers playing music.

I mean, it's a tragedy.

I wasn't gonna tell you this...

but between you and me

and the fly on the wall...

there's a woman on the premises who

I think, maybe, is gonna save our bacon.

Hmm?

She's got that look about her.

Who is she?

I'm not sure. I'm still working

on figuring that one out.

Just close your eyes

for a second.

She from NorComm?

Time will tell.

I'll just let personal charm

and dashing good looks do their work.

She walked in,

couldn't take her eyes off me.

Drawn to me like a moth to the flame.

Every time there's

a triumph in the world...

a million souls have to be trampled on.

And right there... you can see it

right in the damn carpet.

What does that have

to do with anything?

Mama. She l... she went...

She went up to the...

It was a lot for Mama to put up with.

We had to shovel her into

the Good Shepherd Home.

That's it.

That was the sad day.

Connie quit the act.

God, we'd already lost Wanda.

Wanda was like magic.

The four of us,

when we were together...

- she was singin'.

- She was...

And next to you, I'm tellin' you...

you've followed in her footsteps.

You are the same...

the same talent.

No. I don't know about that.

So, now, it's just the two of us.

Yep. Just the two of us.

You know what?

It was your dad got us on the radio.

God, that was

a good-lookin' family!

I can understand you

goin' for that guy.

Yeah, he sang like an angel.

He sang...

# Softly and tenderly #

# Jesus is calling #

# Callin' for you and for me #

# See on the portal #

# He's waiting and watching #

# Watching for you and for me #

# Come home #

# Come home #

# Ye who are weary, come home #

Hmm-mmm.

Singing is the only thing

that puts me right.

Hmm-mmm.

# Well, Charlie, you're a good ol' boy #

# Charlie, you're all right #

# Charlie, open up the store #

# We're comin' down tonight #

# Out where you can see the stars #

# And the living's slow #

# We'll eat potluck and pool guitars #

# Down on Old Plank Road #

# Ohh #

# Down on Old Plank Road #

# We'll eat potluck and pool guitars #

# Down on Old Plank Road #

# Come home #

# Come home #

# Ye who are weary, come home #

Hold it. Are we on?

Uh, not yet.

You've got a few minutes.

What are we doin'?

You're on in the Powdermilk segment

doing Gold Watch and Chain with him.

We haven't done that for years.

# I'll pawn you my gold watch

and chain, love #

# I'll pawn you my gold wedding ring... #

Excuse me.

I gotta get a head start

on gettin' pie-eyed tonight.

# This heart in my bosom #

# Only say that you'll love me again #

How about Red River Valley?

Fine. Whatever you'd like.

I would just like there to be

a spot for Lola on the show later.

I hope so.

If there's time.

Well, this isn't really gonna be

your last show, is it?

Every show's your last show.

That's my philosophy.

Thank you, Plato.

Kierkegaard.

Button up, would ya?

I am. That's as far as it goes.

# Well, sister and her oldest girl #

# They sing so good together #

# Jason, he can make me laugh #

# And he just keeps gettin' better #

# Claire has got a sweet new one #

# About her, Timmy-o #

# And John is everybody's man #

# Down on Old Plank Road #

# Ohh #

# Down on Old Plank Road #

Hey, uh... can you tell potato face here

that his butt is too big for his pants...

and people can see his crack...

and it ain't nothin' any normal person

would ever care to look at?

Where?

In the back.

That's where your crack is.

Well, I don't see nothin'.

- Hey, Molly.

- Don't talk to me.

Am I decent back there?

Don't ask me.

I'm not your mother.

You might be decent

if you lost 25 pounds of ugly fat.

And I might suggest

cuttin' off your head.

She showed me her tattoo once.

Hell she did.

On her shoulder.

You're lyin' through your teeth.

Left shoulder.

Right here.

- That ain't the shoulder.

- Whatever you want to call it.

I'd call it the clavicle.

OK, well, why don't you

ask her about it?

Maybe she'll let you have a look.

Well, what did it say?

It said, 'Freedom.'

Fr... Now I know you're lyin'.

Come on. We gotta put out the CDs.

Come on, niece.

Hey. Molly.

Molly, here.

Take these out front.

Did you hear about the Soderbergs

sellin' the radio station?

I heard all about it.

Are you OK?

Yes, of course.

Hmm?

Kind of a bizarre feeling, isn't it?

- What?

- The silence.

What?

Well...

you're gonna say somethin' about it.

You're gonna talk

to the people, aren't you?

Say, 'Thanks for listening,'

or something.

Yeah, you know.

I don't think so.

Why not?

Say, 'Thank you.'

What?

I'm just not into making big speeches.

What do you do when you

leave somebody's house?

You don't just turn around...

I don't make a big speech.

A big weepy speech.

Oh, that's it!

You're afraid that you're gonna cry!

I wouldn't.

Yeah, that's right.

That's true. You wouldn't.

And you know, that's why, I think,

that our romance was so short.

Because I knew that when we broke up,

you would not cry...

so, I got way over it.

Does that make sense to you?

No, not at all.

Bebopareebop Frozen Rhubarb Pie

and Frozen Rhubarb Pie Filling.

Wouldn't this be a good time

for a piece of rhubarb pie?

# Yes, one little thing can revive a guy #

# And that is a piece of rhubarb pie #

# Serve it up, nice and hot #

# Maybe things aren't

as bad as you thought #

# Mammy's little baby

loves rhubarb, rhubarb #

# Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie #

# Mama's little baby

loves rhubarb, rhubarb #

# Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie #

# Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie #

Yes, Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

And now, for Bebopareebop...

please welcome one of radio's

great singing families...

the Johnson Girls,

Rhonda and Yolanda.

- Hi, everybody.

- Hi.

Oh, thank you. Thank you!

Thank you very much.

I just want to say right away

how happy I am...

that my daughter Lola

is here tonight.

- Come on, Lola.

- Oh! Thank you, sweetheart.

They want to see you.

It means a lot to me that you came.

Yeah, I named my little girl Lola

after our own mother.

Yeah, Lola was our mom.

Lola. And tonight,

we're gonna sing...

an old song that our mother loved.

Oh, it's one of her favorites.

Yep. She was our inspiration.

Some of you know this story...

but she's the main reason

that we started makin' music originally...

because you know she...

it was the only way we knew

to make her happy.

She'd be down on the kitchen floor

scrubbin' on her knees.

But if you stood in the doorway

and you sang a song that she liked...

why, she would just look up and smile.

Ha ha!

Worn out as she was...

it was a smile as wide

as the Mississippi. Heh heh.

Down at the mouth.

Not so slow, you sons of b*tches.

I'll break your necks.

- Yeah.

- I mean it.

And you could see her gold tooth.

# Way down upon

that old Mississippi River #

# Not so far away #

# That's where my folks

have lived forever #

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