A Prairie Home Companion Page #9

It's like the Scripture tells us...

you have to lose your life

before you can...

find it.

Scripture is guiding you here?

The company is owned

by people of faith, Mr. Noir.

Ahh. Before I came to the Lord,

I played in a band myself.

The Dukes of Rhythm.

Ha ha.

We were terrible.

Then, thank God, we were saved by

the simple realization of the truth.

We were no good.

We got fired.

It was a blessing.

You wanna say something?

Say what?

No, I don't want to say...

You know, you should say somethin'...

'cause he was on the show

all these years.

Absolutely.

I don't do eulogies. I don't.

Is there a reason for that?

Or you just don't care for people?

I'm at an age where

if I started to do them...

I'd do nothing but eulogies.

How about just

a moment of silence?

Silence on the radio?

I don't know how that works.

Garrison, OK, thank you.

OK, we've got about thirty seconds.

Thirty seconds.

Hold on a second.

You're saying if my mom died...

you wouldn't do anything,

you wouldn't say anything.

If I what?

You'd just ignore it,

you'd act like it never happened?

How could you do that?

We don't look back in radio.

That's the beauty of it.

Nobody gets old.

Nobody dies.

We just keep on goin'.

What if you died?

I will.

You don't want people

to remember you?

I don't want them to be told

to remember me.

Hmm?

You know what?

Somebody died down there.

That's right.

OK? And we're not

even paying attention...

and you're not even

gonna say anything?

We pay attention by doin' our job.

Go, go, go.

You're on, you're on, you're on.

I gotta get someone

to take me home.

I'm not spendin' the night

alone tonight.

Don't... nobody even cares.

No, we do.

We all care.

We care like hell.

You're gonna want to have...

a whole freezer full

of Prince of Pizzas.

It's the frozen pizza that

tastes homemade always.

Made from real Minnesota

cheese and sausage.

# One Prince of Pizza slice #

# Puts me in paradise #

# Sausage and extra cheese #

# Onions and anchovies #

That's fun... that's funny.

Watching them through this glass,

it's like a zoo.

- Ahh.

- I'll be right back.

# It's the best #

# It's the best #

# In the Midwest #

# Pizza pie #

# Pizza pie #

# Prince of Pizza is the best pie #

Yes, Guy Noir here.

Get me Molly.

Yeah?

Molly, listen, I need you to do something

for me. It's very important.

What?

I need you come out here

so I can talk to you face to face.

- Can you do that?

- I'm right here.

Wha... b... d...

- Who's this?

- I don't know.

No, who...

who's talking to me?

I don't... I-I am!

Shh! Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

There's nobody there.

OK.

I have to ask you

to do something for me.

It's very important.

- It's, uh...

- What?

I need a drink.

Uhh!

Oh, je...

You OK?

Yeah.

So how's it goin' in there

with, uh, axeman?

Very slippery.

How do they keep

the drinks on there?

It's going very well.

I mean, well, he's tough.

He's tough.

But, uh, I think, uh,

I think I have another solution.

What?

Well, he used to be in a band.

A long time ago

called the Dukes of Rhythm...

and I think if we can round up

the guys who were in that band...

and get 'em all on the show...

Sorry.

Um, we can, um, we can maybe

get him to change his mind.

Have a kind of reunion, you know,

with all the, uh, band members...

right here on

The Prairie Home Companion.

Here's to happy endings.

Happy endings!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Oh, God, that's good.

Mother's milk.

- What?

- Sorry.

Here's what I need you to do.

- Hmm.

- Take this note...

uhh, to the woman...

backstage...

Give it to who?

The lady backstage.

The blonde lady

with a white trench coat.

Blonde lady with

a white trench coat?

Yes. She's beautiful, blonde.

Ahh, ahh...

You can't miss her.

'Angel, man in the...'

Shh!

Boat?

Booth.

'Man in the booth...

Make him go away.'

Give this to her,

and then destroy that.

It's time to bring out an old favorite

here on A Prairie Home Companion...

And that's two fine women

who've been singing together...

since they were little girls

growing up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

They've kept alive all those old songs

that go way back.

Please welcome here the Johnson Girls,

Rhonda and Yolanda.

Ha ha ha ha.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

We're gonna do a song now

that we wrote for our mama.

Who brought us up...

with no, uh, luxuries.

Ha ha. No vacation trips.

No vacations even.

Ha ha ha.

But we did have one luxury...

and that was... music.

You know?

Mama loved us to sing.

Yeah, no matter how tired she was,

she loved...

hearin' us kids sing.

So this is for you, Mama.

# Good-bye to my mama #

# My uncles and aunts #

# One after another #

# They went to lie down #

# In the green pastures #

# Beside the still waters #

# And made no sound #

# Their arms that had held me #

# For so many years #

# Their beautiful voices #

# No longer I hear #

# They're in Jesus' arms #

# And He's talkin' to them #

# In the rapturous New Jerusalem #

# And I know they're at peace #

# In a land of delight #

# But I miss #

# My mama #

# Tonight #

Oh, Chuck,

they're playin' this for you.

You should be out there

performin' this with them.

# Who went to lie down #

# And now is gone #

# Whose hands are these #

# All rough and hard? #

# Nails all torn from toil and care #

# Who cleaned the house #

# And kept the yard #

# Touched my cheek #

# And stroked my hair? #

# Thank you, Mama #

# The Lord give you peace #

# Bless your voice #

# And the songs you've sung #

# Blessed your arms #

# And your hands and your knees #

# How you loved us #

# When we were young #

# The Lord's my shepherd #

# I'll not want #

# I have my mama #

# My uncles and aunts #

# Waters so still #

# And pastures so green #

# Goodness and mercy #

# Following me #

# Goodness and mercy #

# Following me #

OK, OK, you're on.

Go get 'em.

The Johnson Girls, thank you.

Brought to you by Powdermilk Biscuits

in the big blue box.

Let's bring 'em in right now

in off that long, dusty, lonesome trail...

the old trail hands themselves,

Dusty and Lefty.

Thank you very much.

Lefty and I are very proud of this.

It's a brand new number.

And, uh, we'd like to send it out

to our friends there in, uh...

Maple Plain and... and Glenwood

and, uh, Renville and of course...

our good friends

up there on the range.

This is for you.

One... two... three.

Oh, God.

I'm gonna kill those guys.

# The blind man's seein' eye dog #

# Pissed on the blind man's shoe... #

- # The blinds man said, 'Here, Rover' #

- Oh, no.

# 'Here's a piece of beef for you' #

# His wife said, 'Don't reward him' #

Hey, what are you doin' back there?

# You can't just let that pass #

# The blind man said #

# 'I gotta find his mouth' #

# 'So I can kick him in the ass' #

- # Bad jokes #

- Oh, great.

- # Lord, I love 'em #

- Now what's the difference?

- # Bad jokes #

- Piss, ass.

- # Can't get enough of 'em #

- Show's on the way out, anyway.

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