A Weekend with the Family Page #5

-[chef] Thank you, kitchen...

You need to stop yelling at me

and my family.

That's some bullshit.

[Nip] Now, we sitting up here

in this man's house

at his little-bitty-ass table, okay?

If he wanna act that way, just let him.

-We're here for the children, all right?

-Children. That's right.

Thank you. Thank you, Napetheria.

Oh, please! It's Niphateria Lorraine

James [clicks tongue] Stankershet.

I don't need an echo.

You need to fix this sh*t, PP.

Mr. Clancy, I'm sure my parents

mean no disrespect.

-They're probably just a little tired...

-And hungry.

And they're just

not used to your wife's customs.

No need to apologize.

[speaking Korean]

I'm sorry for my actions and my outburst.

As you should be.

Apology accepted.

[Nip] Okay, this is him

when he was a baby.

-[Nip laughs]

-[Dingo] Look at that...

[everyone speaking together]

We don't wanna see photo albums...

He wasn't cross-eyed, he was cockeyed.

You never knew which way

he was looking to. He was here,

he was there, he was like... [cackles]

Oh, Lord, his hair was so nappy!

I couldn't even get a comb through it,

unless I put a perm in it.

And this is him

in his pink Power Rangers pajamas.

-So cute!

-You know what,

this boy used to wear pink so much,

he loved pink.

Made me nervous.

Yeah, made me scared.

[Dingo] I was worried.

Nigga loved pink so much

I thought he gonna be a goddamn princess.

I mean, not that I've got anything

against princesses.

-No, you know, baby.

-He would have been

the only goddamn princess in office.

Mamma, we don't need the pictures...

Honey, is that when you peed on yourself?

[Stankershets laughing]

How sweet!

Hey! Mamma, put the pictures away,

okay, and can we just focus

on something little more positive.

Yeah, Dad, what was your news?

-Now is not the time.

-Now is as good a time as any, dear.

-I don't know.

-Something better happen,

'cause I'm hungry.

-Daddy, come on, what is it?

-Your father has decided

to run for office!

Yeah, everybody clapping!

But daddy, that is amazing.

It's just the State Senate.

Nothing's set in stone.

Come on, the Governor is going to be here

in two days.

If your father gain his endorsement,

he going to be the... No, having the...

Shoe up...

-[John] In

-[Sue] Shoe in.

In what?

Anyway, he have the shoe somewhere.

-Daddy, that is so great.

-I bet you running as a Republican.

As a matter of fact, yes, I am.

You gt a problem with that?

I see you living well, John.

You done all right for yourself,

down here in Uncle Tom's cabin,

or should I say [in Korean accent]

Mister Wong's cabin.

[speaking Korean]

Speak English, nigga.

I said your ghetto ass is ignorant.

[Dingo] Son of a b*tch!

I will give it to him.

[Nip shouting] Stop it.

[the Stankershets shouting]

[Dingo] No, you're the ignorant.

No, we can't do this sh*t, man. Come on...

[John shrieking in anger]

[Nip] Hey, okay, wait a minute.

Wait a damn minute.

[John] I have never in my entire life...

What a spectacle!

Ruined my entire dinner.

The unmitigated gall.

John, you did not have to be so abrasive.

Me?

These people come in,

and ruin my entire evening.

-And you're finding me at fault.

-It's no one's fault, John.

It's just is what it is.

Our daughter, she is in love

with that young man.

And the PP, he in love with her too.

And we should just accept him

and his family,

and leave it at that.

[sarcastically] Yeah, love, love.

Well, the jury is still out on that.

[seductively] John! John!

Have you noticed what I wearing to bed?

-Look at all this.

-Yes, I see all this.

Okay, Sue, you gotta...

I don't have time for your shenanigans.

I'm tired.

Shenanigans?

John Clancy, you promised me we would

take advantage

of our time together this weekend

to strengthen our relationship.

Yeah, but... Really, sweetheart, you don't

expect me to pounce on you

when our home is being invaded.

Sue! Invaded!

Well, I glad something is being

invaded around here for a change.

[crying]

-No! Don't...

-No, you said you are going to hit that,

or tap that ass, or something like that.

-I was...

-Nothing happening here.

-All right.

-You so mean.

I buy this negligee.

It's negligee, honey.

-No, no, no!

-All right, Oh, sh*t!

Yes, okay, honey.

All right, go to sleep...

All right, ooh, I'll tap that ass.

-That doesn't count.

-All right.

What good is donkey-size cock,

if you don't ever use it?

-God damn!

-Vagina filled with cobweb now.

[Nip] Don't have time for this.

I don't have time for...

You actin' like you don't have no options.

-Nip, Nip, I'm not gonna...

-Manners, you know better than that.

But you think you the victim all the time.

-You are not the victim, Dingo.

-[Travis clears throat]

-[Travis] What's up?

-[Nip] Baby.

I just wanted to come in and say

that I'm happy you guys are here.

Definitely surprised.

We're glad to be here.

You tell that little lady of yours

that we apologize for everything.

Don't apologize for me.

-Dingo.

-She should be apologizing to us

for having Satan as her dad.

Dingo, I don't need

to hear all that right now.

I don't get it, son.

-What do you see in these people?

-Mr. Clancy is my boss.

Okay? And his daughter is the love

of my life.

Sh*t! What does love gotta do with this?

Gettin' yourself all mixed up

with these kinda people.

It's not worth it, son.

-Just try to make this work.

-We will.

-I ain't gonna promise.

-We will make it work.

Speak for yourself.

Thank you, Mamma.

I love you, baby.

I love you too.

Get you some rest, baby.

-Love you, guys.

-All right, love you too, honey.

Close the door behind you, baby.

[door closes]

I am done with you.

And we ain't seen that boy, what,

in a month of Sundays?

The first thing you wanna do

after that girl done flew us out here,

first class...

you're gonna show your ass.

I got something to show you,

but it ain't gonna be my ass.

I ain't playing with you, Dingo.

Come on, Nip. Don't make more outta this

than it is.

Make more out of it?

What are you talking about?

We promised Travis Avante that we would

come out here and we would support him.

I'm sorry.

Travis.

Now, Travis needs to know that.

He needs to feel that from you.

He needs to feel that from the family.

He needs to feel it from all of us.

Okay, sugar cheeks.

All I'm saying is I don't wanna see

our son, PP,

turn into one of those diddy folks.

If that is what he chooses to do,

then, baby, let him do it.

Okay, he loves that girl.

And it ain't up to us to question that.

I need you to promise me you gonna be

on your best behavior this weekend,

or no sweet cheeks for you for a month.

-A month?

-A month. You wanna make it two?

Two months? I can't do without that thing

for two months.

Wanna get some now? Get some later?

Ooh, I can't stand your ass.

Come on, baby...

I don't know what you been doing to me.

Damn you, Dingo.

Come on with this thing.

Came all the way out here.

I'm gonna give you something.

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