Abbott and Costello in Hollywood Page #6

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Oh, how stupid of me.|I should have stayed here and turned it off.

Go ahead. Get back in bed.|I'll take care of it. Go.

- Buzz.|- What?

Play just the finish.

"And the daffodils are going to sleep."

- Daffodils.|- Go ahead. Go to sleep. Go ahead.

Not the other part.

- Put it on.|- Go to sleep.

Were drifting through dreamland.

Soft, mellow music|of rippling streams and babbling brooks...

... caresses our drowsy head.

Green fields and rolling meadows...

... with their purple poppies|swaying in the cool...

What? What happened?|What happened? What happened?

You fell asleep. I was supposed to.

Every time I hear that Dr. Snide|I go to sleep.

I can't help it.

- I'll fix you up.|- Yeah.

- Stay up.|- Stay up.

- Stay up.|- I've been up.

Stay up.

- You know...|- Look.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to put this in your ears...

...and then when I go to sleep...|You won't hear the record.

When I'm asleep, take the arm off,|and the record will stop and I'll sleep.

All right. Yes.

Now, how's that?

Everything all right?|How's that? All right?

Is it all right?

I said, is that all right?

- Is that all right? Stuff in the ears?|- Oh, yes. You can't hear. Swell. Come on.

When you go to sleep, I'll turn it off.

- Take it off. Yeah. These are good.|- Go ahead. Get your sleep.

I know I'll get some sleep.|I said, I know I'll get some sleep.

I said, I know I'll get some sleep.|I'm going to get some sleep.

What?

I says, I'm gonna get some sleep.

That's what I'm here for.

Well, why do you keep saying:

- I can hear you. Please.|- Well, then keep them in your ears.

- You don't have to listen to nothing.|- What?

You don't have to listen to nothing.

Look. Wait a minute. Now, listen.|Don't get excited, please, will you?

With these in my ears I can't hear.|Look. Here. Try it yourself. See?

- Can you hear anything?|- What?

Can you hear me?|You can't hear anything, can you?

How can I hear|if you're gonna put these in my ears?

I can't hear|if you got them in my ears.

If you got them in my...|He's got them again.

- I'm going to...|- What do you want me to do?

I'm gonna sleep.|When I'm asleep, take it off.

- Go to sleep. Go ahead.|- Put them...

Wait a minute now. Take it easy.

Now, look, I'm gonna put the record on|and don't fall asleep.

- Put the cotton in.|- All right. Go ahead. Get in bed.

Lazy daffodils brush our cheeks.

So still, so peaceful.

All the worlds asleep.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Pleasant dreams.

You can take it off, Buzz, I'm asleep.

Buzz, you can take it off now.|Take the arm off, Buzz.

Buzz, I said, take it off now.|Stop it. It's going around.

Buzz, I'm telling you to take it off now.

Buzz, turn it off!

Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!

Turn it off, will you?

Buzz. Buzz.

I'm sunk.

We are drifting through dreamland.

The soft, mellow music|of rippling streams...

... and babbling brooks|caresses our drowsy...

I don't want to be nosy,|but where are we going?

To the studio. I'm not gonna let|Mr. Kavanaugh get away with this.

- I'm going in there...|- Now, wait a minute, Claire.

If I were you, I'd forget about this.

It's just another little Hollywood story|to tell the folks back home.

Tell? Don't you mean write?

I'm leaving on the 5:00 bus.

I see.

You think I'm kind of a quitter,|don't you?

Just because you throw in the towel|when the going gets a little tough?

- Don't be silly, Mr. Parker.|- Look, Claire, Hollywood isn't for me.

I belong back home.

Back at the old job|at the Guarantee Bank.

How wonderful.|You'll be rolling in money.

Other people's, of course.

And if you play your cards right,|you might be lucky enough...

...to marry Mr. Guarantee's daughter.

All right, all right, all right.

Stand still.

Oh, Buzz, I didn't sleep a wink|all last night with that record.

- I know.|- I hurt my head too in bed.

- I know. Everything will be all right.|- No sleep at all.

Pull yourself together. Wake up.|We got a lot of work to do today.

I'm worried. Jeff is out.|What are we going to do?

Oh, why worry?|Just keep a stiff upper lip.

- Remember...|- Stiff upper lip.

Remember one thing: A good agent...

- Never mind that!|- That hurts.

Never mind that. Remember one thing:

A good agent doesn't even know|the meaning of the word "capitulation."

Then I must be a great agent.

- I never even heard of the word.|- Yes, I know.

- There. Let's see how you look.|- How do I look?

- Swell.|- Now, let me walk alone.

- See if I can make it alone.|- Come on. Come on, now.

Come on, hurry up.

Claire!

I just came to tell you|you're back in the barber business.

Not so fast. We were just going over|to cheer up the kid.

You can save your cheers. He's leaving|for Des Moines on the 5:00 bus.

- What?|- You took the words right out of my mouth.

Quiet. Stupid had to play cupid.

You had to tell Jeff that Claire|would walk out unless Kavanaugh...

...kept him in the part.|So in order to play noble he scrammed.

Because he didn't want to be in her way.

- I'm sorry.|- You should be.

You're sorry? How do you think I feel?

I practically called him a quitter.

You know, if the girl at the bus depot,|played by me...

...were to call him and tell him|his reservations had been canceled...

...that would mean|he couldn't get a bus out until Monday.

- That's a great idea.|- Okay, boys, go to work.

- Okay.|- Go to work? Okay.

What are you doing?

- I'm reading the want ads.|- What do you mean the want ads?

You remember, Claire says|you gotta go to work.

What we've got to do|is get Jeff back into that part.

You know, I heard Kavanaugh say that|he was gonna start that picture next week.

He's gonna start that hot or cold.

- He said rain or shine.|- All right. What's the difference?

- The other time you put on a heavy coat.|- Who cares about that?

We've got to frame up|something with Jeff.

What are we going to do?|We got to get him that part.

- We got to figure out something.|- Yeah, but what?

- Hey. Wait a minute. I have it.|- Good.

Suppose we have Le Maise arrested.

- That would be the thing. Le Maise!|- Arrested?

Then he couldn't play the part.

- How are you gonna get the fellow arrested?|- That's the thing. Wait. I got an idea.

Have him slug somebody.

That's the best idea you ever had. They'll|put him in jail because he hit somebody.

That's a good idea.

- He's got it coming, too, that fellow.|- Absolutely. The thing is now...

...who is he going to slug?|Who is he going to slug?

- Yeah.|- Yeah.

Who is he going to slug?

What are you looking at me for?

I'll see you later. I am no more agent.

Now wait a minute. Wait.|What's on your mind?

Sometimes, why don't you|take a punch in the nose?

- Now, there's a fine remark.|- That's a small nose!

That's a fine remark coming from you.|I'm surprised.

Me, your bosom friend.

Your lifelong pal.

You want me to go out|and get punched in the nose.

- I didn't mean it that way.|- That's the way you meant it!

After all the little things|I've done for you.

When we were back five months|in our room rent...

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