About Last Night Page #10

---

- Deb.

- Did you ever love me?

Or was it just some really

long one-night stand?

I don't know.

God.

Let me see.

Is there anything else she

wanted me to pick up?

Dining room table, sorry

excuse for a man?

Nope. She specifically said she

didn't want that sh*t any more.

And by the way,

I know this sucks for you.

I feel really bad.

I bet you've been waiting

a long time to say that.

Way too long.

I'm so happy to have

my old roommate back.

Hey, don't floss after

you eat all that.

You want another one?

- What did you just say?

- You want another beer?

- What are you doing?

- I'm asking if you want a drink.

Why are you down here checking

on me? Why'd you leave them?

I'm working, they're good.

You want a drink?

- Do you see what's down there?

- Yes.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

Let me see you look down there.

Are we looking in the

same damn direction?

- Yeah, we are.

- Tell me where. What are we looking at?

Five pieces of p*ssy.

That's what we're looking at. And

you came down to check on me?

What the f*** do you want me to do?

They're my customers. I'm at work.

- You're Debbie-whipped!

- I'm not comfortable.

Dude, it's just like

being p*ssy-whipped,

except you're dealing with

one specific piece of p*ssy!

- What do I want you to...

- Listen.

I want you to f*** these b*tches,

Danny! Damn it, man!

Dude, if you don't go down there and

talk to these f***ing women, Danny,

I swear to God, we are

no longer friends.

We are no longer friends!

Now either you talk to them,

or you give me your face.

The only reason why I was promoted

was because of this man right here.

He threw his job away on

a dream and a prayer.

To Danny, for dropping out, so

idiots like me can get ahead.

To Danny!

- Sorry about that.

- What a cute dog.

- Thanks.

- He must take after his daddy.

- I can't.

- What?

I'm thinking of someone else.

You're really...

Nice.

Have a good evening.

All I'm saying is you

can't be so picky.

I mean, no one is gonna be Danny.

But you had Danny and

now you don't want him.

When you had it good, even if it went

bad, you can't go back to faking it.

Honey, I get it. I get it.

- Are you seeing someone?

- No, why?

I don't know, it just looks like you

gained some relationship weight.

So you didn't close? You leave a

classy chick like that hanging?

No, man, classy? I picked

her up at a dog park, man.

I'm sorry, Danny.

Real quick, did I miss the wealth of

black-tie events you've been attending?

What are you talking about?

I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know what happened.

Look at me. You gotta move

on, man. That's crazy.

Yeah. You know what, speaking of which,

should I go before Keller gets back?

- No, stop it. You're fine.

- You sure?

Yes, you're fine.

Hey, you know I could probably

get you your job back here.

Now that I've got major

string-pulling abilities.

I'm good.

I can tell you're good. Passing

up perfectly good dog park p*ssy!

Hey, you know what?

There is something

you can do for me.

If you're willing to pull

those, you know, strings.

What do you need?

What is that?

Puppets. Strings.

Puppet master. That's puppets...

Controlling it.

You need some ice, don't you?

No, I...

Amanda, be a doll, please, and bring a

cup of ice in here and some napkins.

Thank you.

Moving up in the chain.

- You got something to say? Say it.

- All right.

You ever thought about doing a little

something extra with this place?

Like what? You say karaoke night,

I'm gonna punch you in the face.

Okay. Like, turn the courtyard

into a beer garden.

Maybe get some patio dining going.

Expand the menu just a smidge.

Of course I've thought about it.

You know what it costs to

do something like that?

- I have some savings.

- Yeah.

I can get Bernie to help

out on the supply side.

But why not take out a second

mortgage on this place,

put some real money in here?

Now you're talking like you're

gonna stick around for a while.

And if I did?

I'd call the bank today.

- Call the bank.

- Yeah.

Bernie. Come on, man, we gotta

get this stuff to the bar, baby.

Can't steal sh*t without

the puppet master.

Bernie?

Sh*t.

Making that thing cluck, ain't you?

Sorry, man.

What you doing? Why you stopping?

Sorry.

Danny Boy. F*** a baby!

Yo, is it 3:
00 already?

- Hey, man! Close the door!

- Yeah, right. My bad.

On the other side, you a**hole!

- Let me finish this off.

- No, we're not finishing anything!

What you mean we ain't going to?

We gonna finish.

- There it is. Erection's gone.

- Why didn't you lock the door?

You show up with a chicken mask!

Did you want people

to come up in here

while I'm wearing a chicken mask

and you're clucking and f***ing?

Baby, calm down. Baby, calm down.

- You told me you wanted to f*** a chicken!

- Joan?

Hey, man! Close the damn door!

Are you gonna stop?

Are you gonna let me explain myself?

I'm serious. Can you stop?

Look, I didn't say anything to you

because this little situation

works for us, man.

Dude, you have no idea

how sexy this sh*t is.

We treat each other

like sh*t in public,

but then out of nowhere, we turn

around and we f***ing like porn stars.

I mean, there's so much built-up

tension and energy, man.

Why do we have to do what

everybody else does?

I mean, I feel like we could have a

relationship without all that bullshit, man.

We didn't get it right the first time.

So what? F*** it!

Honestly, f*** it.

Who says that we even gotta

get it right at all?

I mean, if you take away

all the conventions,

being in an honest

relationship is the most

freeing feeling in the world, man.

I can be me by just being me, and

she can be her by just being her.

And when I'm with her...

Oh, my God.

There's no place

else I'd rather be.

When I'm not with her, that's

the only place that I wanna be.

You get it? Like, do you

understand what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been there, brother.

It's mind-blowing.

That's why I don't like to talk to

you, you get all sensitive and sh*t.

Hey, let me get two

Stranahan's. Neat, please.

I'm fine. I don't need no tap.

I'm good.

I'm Bernie, baby.

You know me.

I love you.

Yeah.

HDMI, right?

Hey, here we go.

Great play.

Not the same as being there.

No, it's not the same.

Nothing is.

Super casual.

Come on, Danny, relax.

Deborah Sullivan.

Hey, stranger. How's it going?

I really need an assistant.

What's that?

You know what,

I kind of can't hear you.

I guess I got bad

reception in here.

Let's just talk over lunch.

You're not serious.

Yeah, I am.

Okay, look...

These last few months

have just been miserable.

I can't stand going out

or being at home

because, you know,

that reminds me of you.

I can't sleep.

Pacino can't sleep.

Everything's just kind of

falling apart, Deb, and...

Because I miss you.

I need to see you.

Actually, I want to see you.

- If you just give me one more chance...

- Danny.

- I know I can...

- Danny.

Danny.

I gotta yo. Bye.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes