About Last Night Page #6

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enjoyable night at home, man.

That's what you're gonna do, you're

gonna try to sell me on that sh*t?

Keep talking, sell me on it.

- Debbie has this thing with...

- Why don't you just shut the hell up?

I don't wanna hear it,

give a sh*t about that!

You and your life at home with Debbie.

I got a damn hangover!

Feel like a bunch of bees

stinging me in my face!

Daniel Martin, please come

to my office. Daniel Martin.

Am I a lost kid at Chuck E. Cheese?

Why does he insist on using that?

Hey, buddy.

This is Mr Savelson, Mr

Greenberg from corporate.

They're here to talk to

you about your accounts.

Specifically Casey's

and how he hasn't

paid us.

That's it. Should be one,

two, buckle my shoe.

So let's huddle up. We'll

have a nice little chat.

Mano-a-mano...

A-mano-a-mano.

There's four people

in this scenario.

They can't cut me off.

I've been giving them

business for years.

I always pay eventually.

- There's no more "eventually."

- I wanna talk to them.

- They can't do this to people.

- There is no "They"!

It's a gigantic company. I don't

even know who my boss' boss is.

They don't care about you

or your bar.

What about you, Danny?

Do you care?

Hey.

Don't forget about

the thing tonight.

Sh*t, Debbie.

Come on, you said you'd go. I want

you to meet the people I work with.

Fine.

But I'm inviting Bernie!

Fine. Then I'm inviting Joan.

- Fine.

- Fine.

- Fine.

- Fine!

- Fine.

- Fine.

I heard that!

- Hey, man. Thanks for showing up.

- Anytime.

So, dude, what are you, like, auditioning

for her co-workers right now?

You know, I'm supporting her.

Financially, is that what

you're talking about?

Actually, no. I mean, she might

make more money than me.

She might make more money than you?

What the hell are you talking...

You know damn well she

makes more money than you.

Stop it, Danny. You know what

you are in this picture?

Okay, let's say her life

is like a bike, right?

Dude, you wouldn't be the tyre,

you wouldn't be the handlebar.

You wouldn't even be the damn seat.

Danny, you know what you would be?

You would be the little bell

on the front of the bike.

You know, the bell that people ring

to let people know they're coming.

Yeah.

"Here I come. Look how

perfect my life is."

That's what you would be.

A f***ing bell.

Oh, my God. Hello.

Sweetie, I'm talk... Okay.

- Lesbian.

- I don't think so.

I can't stand coming

to stuff like this.

Everybody walking around with

their nose all up in the air.

Bunch of rich people

with attitudes.

You understand these are the type of

people that Debbie's hanging around with.

That means these are the type of people

that you have to hang around with

in order to continue to be that

little bell on her bike, man.

Ring, ring. Food for thought.

Hey, is that Joan right there?

Yeah, I'm gonna leave

you to it. Ring, ring.

You look good, Joan.

By good, I do mean tremendous.

- Listen, I was thinking...

- You were thinking?

You shouldn't do that,

you'll hurt yourself.

That's what I miss.

So damn feisty, Joan.

Why don't you go bother

some other girl?

Maybe I don't want to bother some

other girl. Maybe I want some feisty.

Here you go.

A rum and coke. Light ice,

though. I don't like a lot of ice.

Bernie, this is...

- Wow.

- I'm sorry.

Your name is escaping me

because I'm distracted

by how straight and

white your teeth are.

Derek, like Jeter.

- Right.

- Yeah.

Derek, this is Bernie,

like Madoff.

He has gingivitis as a result

of not flossing enough.

- Hey, what's up, man?

- The hell am I supposed to do with that?

- Well, normal people shake it.

- I'm not normal.

Bernie's gonna go to a shitty dive bar now

and pick up some chick with low self-esteem.

Nah, I'm gonna go home.

The only chick with low

self-esteem that I wanted tonight

is you.

Look, I'm telling you.

You wanna clear 400 K at the end of

the year without lifting a finger?

You invest. Passive income.

That's how you're

gonna pay your taxes.

Danny, what do you do?

Honey. He wants to

know what you do.

- Restaurant supply.

- Interesting.

- In what aspect?

- I work.

Active income.

It's kind of a cause

and effect thing.

You actually work, someone

actually pays you for the work.

It's an experimental thing a

few companies are trying.

- Danny's a salesman.

- I can see.

I mean, he's really

selling me on something.

- So how did you and Debbie meet?

- We're cousins.

Danny.

Hey, I'm just trying

to make conversation.

Okay, chief. Don't let me stop you.

Excuse me for a second.

What the hell was that?

That was Steven,

wiping his dick with money that

could save people's businesses.

That's what that was.

- Why are you so angry?

- Who said I'm angry?

What do you call this? Calm?

My boss is not why

you're mad, Danny.

- You're scared about something.

- I'm not scared.

Talk to me!

I hate my job.

It means I have to do things that I

know aren't right, and I hate it.

- Then quit.

- I can't.

- Why not?

- Because I have you now.

I can't do that.

I appreciate you wanting me to

follow my dream, baby, but it's just

unrealistic.

Baby, if you're holding on

to this job because of me,

you're doing it for

the wrong reasons.

- You say that, but you don't mean it.

- How do you know what I mean?

I know it because you're a

well put together person

and you want me to be

a part of all that.

This sh*t isn't pretty, all right!

You will run when I

cannot be what you want!

I'm not Alison!

Hey, buddy. You wanna sit down?

You know, I'm not really

good at communicating

except with my Japanese love-doll.

There goes my sense

of humour again.

Right, right. What's up, Keller?

So since...

Two weeks after our

meeting with corporate,

a delivery went out to Casey's.

It's probably a computer

glitch or something.

Nope. No, I actually

authorised that delivery.

Right. Okay.

Well, since you violated and

misappropriated company materials,

I'm gonna have to...

You know...

Because you... You leave

me no recourse, Danny.

Danny...

I'll tell you what.

I'll make it easier on you.

Come on, Danny!

Danny, don't be mad, man.

What're you doing? Are you mad at me?

Where you going, man?

I'm walking out. That's what

people do when they quit.

- You can't quit.

- Yeah? Watch me.

- Hey, can you hold that for a second?

- Yeah.

Sh*t!

What?

- Thanks, man. I'll see you later?

- Yeah.

All right, cool.

- You can't quit because you're fired!

- Go f*** yourself.

You're still on for the

company picnic, right?

Sure am. Yep.

There you are. Baby,

you were right.

Just screw that place. I quit.

Good for you.

What's going on?

- I thought we were being careful.

- We are.

- I just switched birth control...

- Wait.

We haven't had sex in forever.

- We had sex three days ago.

- Used to have sex every day.

It takes two people

to have sex, Danny.

- What is that supposed to mean, Debbie?

- Nothing. I'm not pregnant.

Thank God.

Wow.

Wait, are you disappointed?

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