Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie Page #3

a great crowd in there.

I'm excited.

Jerry, you look ravishing.

What are you wearing?

Well, Richard, I'm wearing a dress

that was given to me by Chanel.

As you can see, it's beautiful.

I have lots of their dresses.

Magda, is it possible...

No.

Gwendoline? Gwendoline?

How are you?

You're really tall.

Well spotted.

It's just I was

speaking to Lulu

and she's quite small.

Great.

Last ones, please.

Good grief. Oh,

Christ, love,

we can see your bumhole.

This way.

Do you think Kate's already here?

Hiya, hiya, hiya.

Where's Kate?

Darling, just be cool.

I am cool, darling.

I am cool.

Oh, sh*t! Lulu.

Forgot to ring her.

What'll I tell Lulu?

Oi! You're not wearing

my clothes, are you?

No, darling, no.

This is all T. K. Maxx.

T. K. Maxx.

I can't stand that woman.

Let it go. Just breathe.

Stella, darling.

Is your father with you?

Is little Pauly with you?

No.

Oh, that's a shame.

I was hoping to have

a little catch-up with him.

I haven't seen him

since 1969,

know what I mean?

Ugh, God, and the world blamed Yoko.

My shoes I just adore.

So comfortable.

They're also made by Chanel.

And are made of really soft leather.

Huki Muki!

I need to piss.

Huki! Huki!

Just a word, please!

Huki! Huki Muki!

Sorry, Huki won't speak.

Why do you think

there's been

a Huki Muki revival?

It's about blobs.

Great big blobs of color.

But why now?

It's simply that

we're ready to

see it again.

Thank you very much.

Claudia Bing, an incredible woman.

You know, Richard,

you really can't go wrong

with Chanel.

I've been a big fan of Karl's

for so many years,

and I love what he does.

And glasses off.

And glasses on again, darling.

Ladies and gentlemen,

La Roux!

He wants to know

What it feels like

Excuse me.

Just looking for my mate, Kate.

She wants to know What it feels like

To settle down Settle down

He's got the money

Have you seen Kate Moss?

Just looking for Kate.

He wants to pounce

You're joking.

He wants to pounce

Never know ifhe's giving you up

Are youjust not good enough

Lulu, I thought you were singing tonight.

That's what I was told.

She's done this to me before as well.

Oi!

You. You told Lulu

this was her gig.

You know what, darling?

It is, 'cause afterwards,

they said you can sing

"Shout". Accapeli.

I will bloody murder her.

Has anyone seen Kate?

I'm supposed to meet her.

Get me half a Bass in a straight glass,

and something to eat,

but nothing with tentacles.

And none of that dim sum bollocks.

Get me a sandwich.

He wants to know

Kelly Hoppen.

What's your take on all this color?

To be honest, it's doing my head in.

Eddy, little Kate is on the balcony.

She's out there, darling!

Oh, Lola, Lola, follow, follow.

Sweetie!

It's Brienne of Tarth...

Lola, come here!

Are you okay?

I just have

this nightmare P. R.

Oh, I got rid of mine.

Good for you.

Eddy, I'm going to roll away the Hamm.

All right, darling.

I don't even know what they do.

Who does?

Oh, watch out.

Hi, Jonny. Patsy. Stone.

Patsy.

Hamm. Jon. Hamm.

Don't you remember me, Jonny?

No.

Jonny Jonny from the Big Apple

needing a little taste

of the English rose?

Oh, God.

Yes, I do. I was fifteen.

But you were a very

big fifteen, sweetheart.

Oh, God.

I want you to go over there

and talk to her casually.

And then what?

Then I'll come over and join you

and she'll think I'm cool...

and before you know it,

I'll be doing her P. R.

That's the plan?

Yeah.

Jesus.

I can't believe you're still, uh...

alive.

Can I offer you

a taste now?

No.

Oh, come on, Jonny, come on.

No, thank you.

You took my virginity.

Please leave me my...

sanity.

Good luck.

Jonny. Hi, Kate, sweetie.

Jonny? Jonny?

Okay, go, go, go!

Talk to her. Big me up.

Yes, yes. Smoke, smoke.

Smoke.

Kate? Claudia Bing.

Edina Monsoon!

Oh!

Kate!

Why did you do that?

She fell.

You pushed her.

No, she fell!

I saw you!

Kate Moss has been pushed!

Kate! Kate!

Kate Moss!

Hold on. I'll go in!

You are not going in!

Put your jacket back on!

Eddy!

She'll pop up!

It's only water!

It's just water, why isn't she popping up?

Why did you do this?

I didn't do it!

She just fell!

Eddy, this is my party!

I have a limp and I don't know why.

Get them all down.

I don't want to see anything on camera.

Right,

the only thing is...

Now!

I f***ing hate parties.

I f***ing hate handbags!

Me leg. Good Lord.

Magda! Selfie!

F*** off!

Get them off.

That woman has always been out of control.

Kate was trying to get away from her.

I was shocked.

I saw it happen.

She was pushed.

Did I miss something?

This is the scene

wherejust a few hours ago...

celebrated international

model Kate Moss...

fell or was pushed from

a balcony into the Thames.

Since then, emergency services have been

struggling to cope with the aftermath.

It's my little toe.

She fell off her shoe.

Looking for Kate!

Get back. One more dance.

Baby, please.

I'm okay.

I didn't fall in the river.

Shut up!

You shut up!

How bad can this be?

I mean, you know.

You have probably killed Kate Moss.

Sh*t.

Spoilt your night out?

That doesn't matter.

I shouldn't have let you go.

I don't know what I was thinking.

She'll be all right, won't she?

Kate, she's waterproof.

That's what we

always say about Kate,

she's waterproof.

I demand to see your superior!

That would be me.

Nick?

This is Detective Inspector Nick...

We know each other, thank you.

God.

Don't.

Hello, hello?

Have they found Kate?

No. The currents

are very strong.

Only an outside chance...

Thank you. She will

either have drowned

or just be very, very wet.

In the meantime,

you're here for your own safety.

There's a very

well-coordinated

lynch mob outside.

What happens now?

This doesn't change anything between us.

No, about this.

Oh. I have witnesses

to say that your mother pushed her.

No!

I didn't want her to die.

She needed her.

Loved her!

We don't know that she's dead yet.

Or that it's murder.

Murder?

Thank you.

Manslaughter charges might be brought.

Sorry.

Oh, God.

Police continue to search the Thames

after fashion icon Kate Moss....

fell from a balcony.

There is a real sense of

devastation. Local people...

friends, eyewitnesses are in disbelief.

They are reluctant

to leave the banks

of the Thames

while any faint hope remains...

of Kate Moss being found alive.

We're expecting the police

to hold a news conference...

to give us the latest information

they have about the incident.

Now back to the studio.

Some breaking news...

P. R. guru Edina Monsoon,

the woman at the heart...

of the police investigation has returned

to her West London home.

Don't drive off

until I'm in the house!

Oi! Oi!

Stop hounding me!

I'm not an animal!

She was, like, someone

that I really looked up to.

She wouldn't give a f*** what we think.

No!

Devastated.

I'm so confused.

Is there really nothing else

happening in the world?

Fashion is dead.

Oh! Oh!

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