Accepted Page #7

And what's the worst thing that

can happen? You get bit in the ass!

Well, let me tell you, my

ass looks like hamburger meat...

...but I can still sit down!

I can't believe

this is a class.

Yeah.

Look what I did.

Ugh. What are those?

I call 'em GlenWads.

They contain every delicious flavor

in every single bite. Try one.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

They look disgusting.

This sh*t will get you high

on flavor alone.

Glen, I love

your Wads. Hmm.

Glen.

This is like the most... Literally the

most incredible thing I've ever eaten.

Heads up, bro.

Whoa.

And it's so easy to swallow. Mmm. Wow, Glen.

Uh, excuse me. Thanks, buddy.

Sure.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey.

Can I help you with something?

Aren't you that guy?

No, I don't think so.

You're not?

I'm not what?

I saw you at rush.

What are you doing here?

I'm eating a Wad, man.

What are you doing here?

Wait... wait, let me guess.

You want me

to sign your petition...

...banning minorities

from your yacht club. No?

I am the chairman,

actually...

...of the Student Community Outreach

Committee at Harmon College.

Ah! That was my next guess.

My next guess.

That sounds very important.

As a matter of fact, it is!

That's why I said it.

And Harmon wants

to buy this property...

...so do you know where I

could find the lease holder?

I do.

Well, could you tell me?

Oh, yeah, I could.

I could, Gunther.

Okay, well,

are you going to tell me?

No. I'm not gonna tell you.

I will tell you this.

The lease holder's not interested

in relocating at any point.

So thanks for asking,

and have a good day.

And enjoy the game show

that you host. Bye-bye.

Oh, look out.

Open it.

Ah. Thank you for coming by.

Have a good day.

I'm gonna go enjoy my Wad.

Hey! What the hell

is this place?

South Harmon Institute of

Technology. The best college ever.

Is this a test?

Hey, Sperminator.

South Harmon?

Knock, knock.

Oh, hey, Gwynn.

Hey. Hey, what are you doing

up here all by your lonesome?

You know, you're

missing the whole party.

Hey, have you ever heard of the

South Harmon Institute of Technology?

No. How come?

No reason.

Hey, pledge.

Hello, knights of freedom.

Sperman, do you know

why you're dressed like this?

Because it's required

for brotherhood.

Drink this.

Okay.

No, wait.

There you go.

Good addition, sir.

Hey, Hoyt.

Hey, what are you doin'?

Oh-oh. Hoyt.

Monica. Hold on. Sh*t!

Harmon Gateway, my ass.

Let me tell you something.

That's the kind of group-think mob

mentality that's dumbing down America...

...and flushing your brains

down the toilet.

B! We have a problem.

Virgin daiquiri.

And easy on the lime there,

Eraserhead.

Comin' right up.

Lizzie.

What are you doing here?

You mean I can't swing by and

visit my big brother at college?

You are in college,

aren't you?

What is that

supposed to mean?

Come on, Bartleby.

The jig's up.

I'm telling Mom and Dad.

Uh, listen,

w- w-what do you want?

$20,000.

What? No way!

That's insane. Come on.

I'm not gonna

play your little game.

I'm not gonna

give you a cent.

How do you like that? How

do you like them apples, huh?

Fortunately, Mom and Dad

are on speed dial.

Oh. I'll ask them to pick me up here.

Okay, you're gonna call

Mom and Dad, sure. Ringing.

You are bluffing

with the best.

You're very good, though.

I gotta give it to you.

Hi, Mom.

Okay, stop it.

Anything you want,

not money-related.

Your Razor scooter.

Done.

And a fake ID.

No! That's ridiculous.

I'm not gonna let you drink.

It's so I can vote, dumbass.

Oh. Okay, deal.

You need a Razor scooter

to vote?

What do you mean,

they're a college?

They're called the South

Harmon Institute of Technology.

The South Harmon

Institute of Technology?

What is this,

some kind of joke?

No, I don't think it is, sir.

Mr. Ambrose,

that is the one building...

...standing between me

and the Van Horne Gateway.

Well, I don't know

what to tell you, sir.

Tell me that

you're not that naive.

Colleges don't just spring up

out of the ground overnight.

You're right.

You're right, sir.

I know I'm right!

All right, don't worry. I'll... I'll

figure a way to get them out of there.

What an excellent idea,

Mr. Ambrose.

That's the kind of thinking that

will get you into law school.

Coming through!

Ow!

Hey, what are you

doing here?

I just came to thank you

so much for my camera, B.

It was so sweet, thank you.

Come on. Please, I figured, who

needs a life's savings, right?

Actually, I had a really

hard time finding this place.

You... You guys aren't listed

in the phone book...

...and nobody really seems

to know about you guys.

Yeah, yeah, we're... we're

a pretty well-kept secret.

Well, let me... Let me show

you the rest of the place.

Sure. Really?

Yeah, of course.

Okay.

Great.

Great.

Let's, let's go.

All right.

Two lava flows.

Thank you.

And keep your voice down.

People are playing.

Okay. Thanks, buddy. Mmm.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

He makes a mean drink.

Yeah. It's great.

All right. Hello.

How do you like your drink?

Yeah, it's really good, Glen.

Thanks.

Does she like hers?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, she...

Yeah, it's great.

Thank you.

Okay, great, thanks.

Okay, pal. Okay.

Ah, Glen.

Wait. So this is

your course guide?

Yeah, this is

a new pilot program.

See, the administration wanted

us to create our own classes...

...so we just, uh,

write 'em on the board.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow, that's so cool, B.

Hey, why don't you sign up for one? No, no.

Come on. Sign up for one.

No. No, Bartleby, no.

It... It's painless. I insist.

Oh, really?

Even if you don't sign up for

one you'll go on a fun ride.

Okay.

Just stop me when you see

something that you like.

Okay. Oh, I like this one.

"Men:
The Weaker Sex. "

Give me a pen.

Oh.

B, there can't honestly be a

class called "Bullshitting 236."

What about "The Decline

and Fall of Chevy Chase"?

There's a wait list

for that one.

What?

Are... Are you okay?

What?

What the hell happened?

An explosion of flavor!

I'm working with some

very unstable herbs!

Wait, wait, wait.

So you're telling me...

...that there are no tests,

or essays...

...or required reading,

or any of that nonsense?

That's what I'm sayin'. Wow. Ever?

Yeah. Never ever.

Ask me about my wiener!

That's amazing.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Oh, no.

Ask me about my wiener!

What the...

Ask me about my wiener!

Schrader?

Oh, hey, B. Hi.

And Monica.

Hey. Why... Why are you wearing this?

Every single brother in my

fraternity has worn this suit.

President James Garfield wore

this suit like a gentleman.

Oh, yeah,

and look what happened to him.

He got assassinated

by Charles Guiteau.

Don't ask me

how I know that.

Do me a favor, ask me about

my wiener really quickly.

Schrader, no.

Guys, my brothers could be

watching me right now.

Just ask me

about my wiener, please.

Why are you doing this? What do you mean?

Come on. You're...

This...

You're humiliating

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