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Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Page #13
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1994
- 86 min
- 1,331 Views
JOHN MADDEN (ON TV)
�But the real story of this game
is the absence of Dan Marino. Him
being kidnapped and all has got to
be a strain on this Miami team. I
really feel sorry for those guys! I
mean, it's hard enough enduring
the pressure of the Super Bowl,
without your star quarterback
gettin' himself kidnapped. This
is the whole ball of wax, folks!
You wanna' get kidnapped, you do
it in the off season!�
Marino looks incredulously at the screen. Next to him, Snowflake
"watches" from a ground level
cistern serving as an ad hoc tank.
Ace sneaks closer.
INT. BOBBY RIDDLE STADIUM - DAY
The crowd quiets as Jon Bon Jovi prepares to sing the National Anthem.
Various shots of fans all standing at attention.
In the owners box, Melissa looks to Emilio. Nothing's new.
INT. INDUSTRIAL PLANT - DAY
Einhorn is now in front of the big screen TV SINGING the National
Anthem along with Bon Jovi.
The thugs, VINNIE and ROC, are behind her standing at attention.
The song ends. The crowd cheers.
In a sultry fashion Einhorn circles Marino now.
EINHORN:
I just love Super Bowl Sunday,
don't you, Dan? A magical
afternoon where dreams are made�
or crushed!
DAN:
Look lady, if you want tickets,
you're going about it in the wrong
way.
EINHORN:
Do I look familiar to you, Dan?
Does it seem as if we've met
someplace before?
DAN:
I don't know� I get hit in the
head a lot!
On the TV the ref makes an announcement.
REF:
It's tails. The Eagles will
receive.
EINHORN:
Oops. Looks like we're going to
have to kick, Dan.
Einhorn steps behind a football set up on a tee. And in perfect sync
with the kicker on TV, she
boots a ball through a window of the warehouse.
Marino doesn't know what to think.
EINHORN:
I made some refreshments, Dan.
Would you like some refreshments,
Dan? I'll be right back,
Daaaan!!
She goes. Dan struggles, but to no avail.
MARINO:
Look, I don't know how much psycho
woman is paying you guys, but I
can double it.
VINNIE:
Sorry, Danny boy. Psycho woman
keeps us out of prison.
Vinnie grabs a feeder fish and entices Snowflake to the surface. Roc
raises a football.
ROC:
Hey, Marino, check it out. I'm
throwin' passes to a Dolphin!
He chucks the ball and hits Snowflake, hard. The thugs both laugh
hysterically.
Snowflake makes an angry leap and drenches the thugs. Snowflake laughs
now, the thugs are
furious.
VINNIE:
Get some more fish!
INT. BEHIND MACHINERY - CONTINUOUS
Roc walks behind a big piece of machinery, reaches down for the pail
of smelts, but sees nothing.
ROC:
Where the hell's the smelts?
He stands up straight and we all hear that familiar "Pop" of a
sunflower seed being cracked open.
Roc's eyes widen. He turns and sees�
Ace coyly smiles at him, blows the sunflower seed shells into his face
and CLANG! He whacks
Roc in the head with a pail full of fish.
ACE:
(doing Brando)
He sleeps with the fishes.
INT. INDUSTRIAL PLANT - CONTINUOUS
VINNIE:
Hey Roc, what the hell was that?
Vinnie c*cks his gun and goes to check out the sound.
INT. BEHIND MACHINERY - CONTINUOUS
Vinnie rounds the corner and sees nothing. He walks a little further
lined up on the ground.
He follows the trail around a corner and we see Roc, unconscious but
moaning. He is sitting
against the ground, with his legs spread apart and the pail over his
head. The trail of smelts leads
to his crotch. There is one halfway into his zipper, with its tail
flipping.
Vinnie takes in this sight, then rushes over to Roc and stands him up.
VINNIE:
Hey man! What happened? What's
goin on�?
We see Ace at the top of a giant machine. He is aiming a 200 pound
steel hook, that hangs on a
chain from the ceiling.
ACE:
Guess what, boys, it's nap time.
Ace gently releases the hook. Just as Vinnie and Roc turn to look, the
iron hook shears both of
Two headless bodies fall to the ground in slow motion with blood
gushing from their necks.
ACE:
Hooooly Shiiit! Oh my god! I
didn't mean to - Oh man!!!
Ace holds his head and dances around, completely freaking out what he
had done.
ACE:
(looking to God)
Lord, I swear! I just wanted to
knock them out!
ACE:
Is that murder? I don't know.
They were gonna kill me. But they
didn't� But they tried. That's
self defense. That's it!! I have
nothing to worry about!!
CUT TO:
Ace nervously whistling as he wipes his fingerprints off the hook.
INT. IRONWORKS FACTORY - FACTORY
Ace checks on Snowflake then goes to Marino. He signals for Dan to
keep quiet, then starts to
untie him.
MARINO:
(whispers)
Who are you?
ACE:
(whispers)
Ace Ventura. Pet detective. I've
been sent in with a special play.
(whispers)
Quarterback sneak.
EINHORN (O.S.)
Penalty. Too many men on the
field.
Ace turns. Einhorn's holding a gun on them from the other side of
Snowflake's tank.
EINHORN (CON'T)
I warned you, Ventura.
ACE:
What happened to "Ace"?
EINHORN:
Good question.
She pulls out a cellular phone and dials.
ACE:
Be careful with that phone,
lieutenant. I wouldn't want you
to get a tumor.
EINHORN:
(into phone)
Sergeant Aguado, it's Lt. Einhorn.
Get some men over to the old
ironworks factory on Victoria
Road. I've got the kidnapper
trapped in the warehouse. It's
Ace Ventura. He's killed Marino
and Snowflake.
Einhorn smiles as she puts the phone away.
EINHORN:
Vinnie! Roc! Get in here!
Ace gets a very guilty look.
ACE:
What? Who are they? You mean
A battalion of cop cars screech away as we hear�
RADIO DISPATCHER
(V.O.)
Attention all units. Code 11 in
progress at 343 Victorville Road.
Officer needs back-up�
INT. BOBBY RIDDLE STADIUM OWNER'S BOX - DAY
The cops and Emilio listen to their ear pieces�
RADIO DISPATCHER
(V.O.)
�Suspect's name: Ace Ventura,
male Caucasian, he is armed and
dangerous�
Emilio nudges Melissa.
EMILIO:
It's Ace. Let's go.
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Emilio high tails it out of there. Dodging concession stand patrons,
bathroom lines, etc� Melissa
runs behind, trying to catch up.
MELISSA:
Emilio, is he in trouble?
EMILIO:
Don't worry, there's nothing Ace
can't handle!
Einhorn c*cks her gun. Ace's face is glistening with tears. He's a
complete wreck.
ACE:
Don't kill meeee!!
Pleeheeheeheeheeeezzz!!! I'll
never tell anyone! I swear!
(indicating Marino)
He's the one you want!! Kill
him!!
MARINO:
(indicating Ace)
No� kill him!
The two argue. Einhorn fires a shot in the air to stop them.
EINHORN:
No, I'm gonna kill the dolphin
first.
(to Ace)
I wouldn't want you to miss that.
Einhorn walks to the edge of the tank. She aims the gun at Snowflake
and FIRES!
We see the bullet miss Snowflake under water.
Snowflake swims wildly. She FIRES again! Misses again. Suddenly, Ace
HOLLERS!
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"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ace_ventura:_pet_detective_920>.
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