Ace Ventura Jr: Pet Detective Page #5

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I've been saving something for y ou.

Yourfather bought this.

He wanted y ou to have it

when y ou were old enough, and nowy ou are.

Look up in the attic.

You'll find it there.

- No, Mom, I promise, I'll be normal.

- Be who y ou are, Ace!

Hollanderwill find the pandanapper

and we'll be a family again.

- I love y ou, Ace!

- I love y ou, Mom.

Ace, I'm so sorry.

So what do we do now?

Nothing. I'm aloser.

It's over.

Sorry abouty our koi fish.

Come on, Ox.

Hey, Laura,

where the heck is Bermuda?

I have no idea.

That's notwhat I think it is, is it?

I guess.

Your mom gave that to y ou?

Yeah, but it's not important.

What about the animals?

Animals have never brought me

any thing but trouble.

I gotta be like every one else, Grandpa.

- You can't.

- Well, I will if it kills me.

You'll never be like every one else,

'cause y ou're one in a million.

Justlike y our ancestors.

Justlike y ourfather.

Eaty our own food, Ox.

I've been try ing to gety ou

to figure this out,

but I guess I'm just

gonna have to come out and say it.

- Say what?

- The magic word.

Don'ty ou knowwhaty ou are?

I'm a kid, right?

You're more than that.

You're a pet...

detective.

- Like my dad?

- Yeah.

- Whatwas he like?

- Justlike y ou.

And y ou know,

this thing y ou threw away,

this is the key

to y ourfuture.

All righty, then.

(# "Ace Is In The House"by Tone Loc)

- Nice outfiit.

- Let's talk fashion.

Tara's wearing the latest in the "Spoiled and Shallow"

collection. Love the shoes. Hate y ou!

Ventura, our therapist said for us to order y ou

to stop inflicting emotional damage on us.

Franken Berry called. Count Chocula

wants his wardrobe back. And the sun's out.

Get back in y our caskets.

Is there a veterinarian in the house?

Because these are some sick puppies.

Hey, watch the hair!

Oxnard, I need y ou!

Time for another

motivational dunking, dork!

- No, buty ou don't underst...

- (Ox barks)

Jeez, next time y ou're late like that,

I'm buy ing a cat.

(Ox barks)

Tell y our dog to back off, Ventura!

Are y ou crazy?

I'm not going near him! He looks rabid.

And he can smell y ourfear.

(barks)

You are Spartan!

- What about our alligator?

- I told y ou I'd find him, and I will.

But right now,

I've got biggerfish to fry.

Oxnard!

Allons-y, muchacho!

Oh, and sorry about that

whole buy ing a cat thing.

Ace?

Ventura...

Junior.

Pet Detective.

Um... OK.

- What's wrong?

- The question, y oung Laura, is what is right?

The answer - every thing.

- So y ou feel like solving that case?

- I thoughty ou gave up.

Even Tiger Woods shanks one

from time to time.

But the past is past.

- Now, A-Plus.

- Wow! This table is great.

I looked through Sickinger's hard drive.

He's a biological researcher

specializing in non-telegenic

endangered organisms.

- In English, Mr. Spock.

- He advocates for ugly animals.

He planned a demonstration forlike-minded

activists at a publicity stop for a famous feline.

OK, I didn't understand

a word y ou just said,

exceptfor "ugly animals"

and "Sickinger."

He's organizing a protest

at Tabby the Tabby's autograph session

at the Animal Actors Studio

at Universal, Orlando.

Itlooks like we're going

on a field trip.

L'chaim!

I'll take a few of these for the road.

- Field trip? Wait, do I need a permission slip?

- No, y ou don't!

Have a meow-tastic day.

Thanks for coming.

Tabby say s,

"Have a meow-tastic day."

Thanks for coming.

Tabby say s, "Have a meow-tastic day!"

Thanks for coming.

Tabby say s, "Have a meow-tastic day!"

Thanks for coming.

Tabby say s, "Have a meow-tastic day!"

There's Sickinger!

No justice, no peace!

Equal treatmentfor ugly species!

No justice, no peace!

Equal treatmentfor ugly species!

Take him down!

He's an ecoterrorist!

Cease and desist immediately,

or I'll be forced to use this!

Don't even think about moving!

Slow down! Just stop!

(speakerblares)

- Don't Tase me, bro!

- Get him!

No justice, no peace!

No justice, no...

- We shall not be silenced!

- Be quiet!

Ugly animals of the world, unite!

- You have nothing to lose...

- This guy is crazy.

...buty ourleashes!

- We shall not be silenced!

- (Taserbuzzes)

- Ow!

- (woman screams)

Tabby is gone!

Find Tabby! Tabby's gone!

Yikes! Tabby's been nabbied.

- Tabby!

- This is bigger than I thought.

Sickinger must be running some

sort of criminal animal-napping netwwork.

Oh, the humanity! Tabby!

I knowy ou don'twant to, Ace,

buty ou better talk to Hollander.

Now he'll listen to y ou.

- You're notlistening!

- I'm sorry, what?

Dr. Sickinger - we saw him creating a distraction at

the Animal Actors stadium when Tabby vanished!

This is a major criminal netwwork.

We have evidence.

- Tabby the Tabby.

- Catnapped.

- Ting Tang.

- You knowwhat happened to him.

- Princess.

- Championship West Highland terrier.

Her Majesty was stolen from a meaningless

international dog showlastweek!

- Freedom the Hawk.

- Mascotfor Stars and Stripes Burger Company.

His freedom was taken when he was stolen

from the Jacksonville veterinarian!

They even took Snuggles,

the fabric softening bear.

- They took Snuggles?

- Yes!

And?

Sickinger's organization

is stealing famous animals!

Jeez! You're welcome for solving

the case, doing y our job!

Need me to wipe y our buttfor y ou?

I just did!

So when can I get my mom back?

Ten, 20 y ears, I'd say.

What?!

You see, doorstop, a major investigation like this

takes on alife all of its own.

I think y our mom's guilty,

and I spent all morning on CNN say ing she is.

Her case is putting this agency on the map.

Look atwhat they gave us.

And that's just the beginning.

Get this.

CSl:
Fish and Wildlife.

Guess who's gonna play me?

Gumby.

I didn'twant it to have to come to this, Russell,

but now it's on.

Ha!

Ha!

- Out.

- With the pushing!

I am gonna get Sickinger,

solve this case, prove my mom's innocent,

and show the world

what an idioty ou are!

Nice hair.

(laughing)

This used to be the most pristine

Ty rannosaurus skeleton on Earth,

formerly valued at $100 million.

(Ace Jr.) How much is itworth now?

(sighs) Substantially less.

Please do not touch it.

Let's move very carefully

to the gift shop.

I don't think itlooks that bad.

Here, y ou put it back.

You put it back.

- Yes?

- Dr. Sickinger, I presume?

Wait!

Who are y ou?

Ace Ventura Jr.

Pet Detective.

- You're kidding me, right?

- Do I looklike I'm kidding?

I get it!

Young supporters of the cause, y es!

Oh, it's brilliant! Yes, y es.

You're never too y oung for political mobilization.

We don'twant to join y our movement.

Look, buddy, my mom's in jail

because of y ou,

so tell us where the panda is

so we can get him back to the zoo.

If I were going to steal

an animal from the zoo,

the panda is the last one I'd take.

I don't think y ou understand.

(plucks guitarstring)

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