Adventureland Page #3

Maybe I'll run into you

on the streets of NYC.

-What are you studying?

-Journalism.

Yeah, I want to be, like,

a travel essayist.

But I want to report

on the real state of the world.

You know, like Charles Dickens,

for example, wrote

what you might call travel books,

but he visited prisons

and mental asylums.

-That's cool.

-Yeah, is it?

-Yeah.

-Okay.

No, it is, it's...

But why do you have to

go to grad school for that?

No, that's a valid question,

but, actually, journalism is kind of

like this old boys' network still.

You need the right connections.

It's very Ivy League, very exclusive.

Stupid. I think my mother would rather

I intern at some Fortune 500 company

or something like that.

-F*** that, right?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

I got to go. I have to meet a friend.

-Okay. Yeah, thanks for the ride.

-Sure.

Hey, I heard you jammed

with Lou Reed.

-Don't believe everything you hear.

-Okay.

I'll tell you about it sometime.

So, where does your band play?

Usual shitholes around town.

I need better musicians.

-I'm starting a new band out in LA.

-Los Angeles?

Yeah. It's going to be cool.

Going this winter.

-Jesus.

-Nasty.

You'll get better at avoiding that.

Hey, guys. Party at my house tonight.

My dad's out of town.

I'm invited?

Yep, that's why I'm telling you.

-Connell?

-You kiddies have fun.

She's cool, right?

You're just smearing that around.

Hey, Sue, I'm a virgin at table games,

so go easy on me.

We're having a ping-pong tournament!

-Hey.

-Hey.

Nice digs.

Kind of begs the question of why the

hell you're working at Adventureland?

Well, you know, my dad's a lawyer.

It's been his life-long dream for

his daughter to work at Adventureland.

-High hopes.

-Also gets me out of the house.

So we can drink your parents' booze.

It's okay?

-Absolutely.

-Yes!

-Awesome.

-Don't touch me.

Hey, I actually brought something

for the party.

-What is that?

-It's a joint.

-Oh.

-Yeah.

Bobby is weird.

I had to go back and get the extra

employee key for the bathroom,

and I went back, I opened the door,

and there were all these pictures

of him and Paulette, naked.

What a weirdo.

Hey, I'm gonna go for a swim.

Anybody care to join me?

Okay.

Come on.

Is anybody else coming in here,

or is it just us?

Yeah, okay.

-See, it's not so bad. It's okay.

-No, it's okay.

-Do you have any more of that pot?

-Yeah, at home. Why?

-We should make pot cookies.

-Okay.

That would be so fun.

Have you done that?

-I have not. I've had cookies.

-All right.

My connections have all dried up.

That's why I'm asking.

Your connections have dried up?

What, you think, I have ties

to the underworld or something?

I have 5 joints.

You think I can, like,

put a hit out on somebody?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Oh, my God!

I got you. I got the door.

It's only 3 feet, so I can handle it.

Okay.

-I'm gonna get a drink.

-Okay.

You want one?

-Coming?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I'll meet you inside.

-Okay.

-I'll meet you inside.

-Okay.

-Okay.

Sh*t.

Boner! You got a boner!

Brennan's got a boner!

Yeah!

Thanks.

I like your records.

Eno, Replacements, Big Star.

Hey, give me your underwear.

I'll throw them in the dryer for you.

-I promise you'll get them back.

-Yeah.

Thank you.

-Who's that?

-It's my stepmom.

I don't think there's any pictures

of my mom in here.

-She died 2 years ago.

-Really? I'm sorry.

My dad remarried last year.

That's Francy.

You see that unholy abomination

on her head?

-Yeah.

-It's a wig.

Is it?

She had, like, a nervous breakdown

when her first husband divorced her.

Lost all her hair.

I would feel bad if she wasn't

such a status-obsessed witch.

-I'm buzzed. You?

-Yeah, kind of.

-What was that?

-What was what?

I'm gonna go...

You want to go see what they're doing?

Yes.

I think I drank, like,

a whole bottle of vodka.

You were drinking vermouth

the whole night, it's disgusting.

Yeah, it's a type of vodka.

You okay? Frigo? What are you doing?

Okay, good night!

Hello?

Hey. No, actually,

the party broke up pretty early.

I'm in here.

Crack of dawn

Cindy's movin' on

She's talking Cindy to everyone

-So we have, like, 5 minutes?

-No.

Though I've heard it before

There's not much point

in wasting time, though.

But I just can't get away

Cindy kills me every day

Lisa P. is back!

-Lisa P. is back!

-Lisa P.? Did you hear that?

Lisa P. is back! Lisa P. is back!

-Brennan, Brennan, Lisa P. is back!

-Yeah? Who's Lisa P.?

Holy mother of crap!

"Who's Lisa P.?"

That's Lisa P.

Come on, come on

Have you ever heard

those opening lines

You should leave this small town

way behind

I'll be your partner

Show you the steps

Oh, my God,

look at the shape of her ass.

It's a platonic ideal.

That ass is a higher truth.

Look, look at that little portal of light,

just below her crotch,

right where the thigh

meets the pudendum.

The pudendum? Are you pre-med?

I'm telling you, man, I've had dreams

about that diamond-shape portal.

She's coming over here, man. Be cool.

Okay, I'll try to hold it together.

-Hey, Lisa. Hey, Kelly.

-Hey, Joel.

So, I didn't expect you to be back here.

Oh, man, I had my whole summer, like,

mapped out.

Laying out by the pool by day,

dancing by night.

But my dad got injured on the job,

and he's laid up, so I got to help out.

Sorry to hear that.

My mom has shingles.

Oh.

Well, I gotta go run the Musik-Express.

I don't want Paulette bitching me out

on my first day.

-I'm Lisa.

-James.

I heard you lost a giant-ass

panda at knifepoint.

Did you?

I guess my legend precedes me.

-What?

-It was nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too, James.

Bye, Lisa. Bye, Kelly.

A little more than 40%

of these fish are dead.

I am amazed

at how tiny my paycheck is,

after working doubles.

Well, we are doing the work of pathetic,

lazy morons.

Jesus f***ing Christ, they play

this song, like, 20 times a day.

F***ing sadists. F***ing sadists!

Hey.

-Hey.

-Hey, I made you a tape.

These are my favorite bummer songs.

They're truly miserable,

pit-of-despair type songs.

-I think you'll love it.

-Cool.

Yeah. Hey, you want to get a drink

or something?

Sure.

I got a fever of 103

Come on, baby

Do you do more than dance?

I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

-Hey, I feel like I should tell you.

-Tell me what?

Yeah. I had my heart broken recently.

Is that... I don't know,

I just thought I should tell you.

-That sucks.

-Yeah.

-Who broke your heart?

-A girl at school.

Yeah, it's typical.

I actually... I think there was...

I think there was something there.

I think that we actually had,

like, potential.

I don't know. I think she was afraid.

Afraid of what?

I don't know.

Afraid of it being good or something.

Was the sex good?

She was very sexy.

You've been with a lot of girls?

Yep. Are we talking about, like,

intercourse specifically?

Yeah.

No, in that case,

there were actually a few times that I...

Yeah, a few times I could've done that.

But it wasn't... It wasn't exactly right.

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