Airplane! Page #13

CAREY:

You do? Who is it?

We hear A THUNK. REAR PROJECTION shows he has run oyer a

bicyclist, who stands and gives the finger.

KRAMER:

His name is Ted Striker. I flew with him

during the war. And that won't make my job

any easier tonight.

REAR PROJECTION SPEEDS UP to obvious FAST MOTION.

KRAMER:

Ted Striker was a crack flight leader up

to a point. But he was one of those men

who, well, let's just say he felt too much

inside. Maybe you know the kind.

Now REAR PROJECTION indicates car is turning and then

weaving, but Kramer does not move wheel.

KRAMER:

It takes a certain type to perform under

pressure. Striker didn't have it.

By now REAR PROJECTION is cowboys and Indians on horseback

chasing and shooting at Kramer's car.

KRAMER:

Ate his heart out over every name on the

casualty lists. The upshot of it is that

he went all to pieces on one particular

mission. Let's just hope it doesn't happen

again tonight.

EXT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT

THUNDER and lightning.

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

Striker is in pilot's seat. Rumack is standing behind him.

STRIKER:

Let's see, altitude twenty-four thousand

feet, level flight, air speed four hundred

sixty knots, course zero niner zero, trim,

mixture, landing gear, balance.

Elaine enters.

ELAINE:

Ted! What are you doing? You can't fly

this plane!

STRIKER:

That's what I've been trying to tell these

people.

DR. RUMACK

Elaine, I haven't time to put this gently,

so I'll be very direct. Everyone of us on

this plane is in a desperate situation.

Mister Striker is the only hope we've got.

STRIKER:

Let's see. Those are the flaps, that's the

thrust, this must turn on the landing

lights.

He flips a switch. The plane dives.

EXT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT

The plane is diving.

INT. LAVATORY - JACK

Jack is standing at toilet. He is jolted back and forth

against the walls.

INSERT - SIGN

flashing:
RETURN TO SEAT

GOBACKEN SIDONNA

INT. COCKPIT NIGHT

STRIKER:

(into mike)

Mayday!

INT. CHICAGO DISPATCH - NIGHT

STRIKER (v.o.)

Mayday! Mayday!

McCROSKEY

(surprised)

Mayday? What the hell is that for?

HINSHAW:

It's the Russian New Year! We'll have a

parade! They'll serve hot hors d'oeuvres!

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

Striker flips switch and rights plane.

EXT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT

Level flight.

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

McCROSKEY (v.o.)

Two-zero-niner, are you okay up there?

STRIKER:

Yeah, I was just trying out the landing

lights.

Elaine and Rumack exchange glances.

INT. PASSENGER CABIN - NIGHT

MRS. HAMMEN

I've got to get out of here! I can't stand

it! I've got to get out of here!

Randy pushes up and shakes Mrs. Hammen by the shoulders.

RANDY:

Calm down. Get hold of yourself!

JACK:

Stewardess, let me handle this.

Randy leaves, Jack shakes Mrs. Hammen by the shoulders.

JACK:

Get hold of yourself! Get hold of

yourself!

DR. RUMACK

(to Jack)

Get back to your seat; I'll take care of

this.

Jack leaves; Rumack shakes Mrs. Hammen by the shoulders.

DR. RUMACK

Calm down. Calm down. Get hold of

yourself!

Sister Angelina taps Rumack on the shoulder.

SISTER ANGELINA:

(to Rumack)

Doctor, you're wanted on the phone.

Sister Angelina starts shaking Mrs. Hammen.

SISTER ANGELINA:

Everything will be all right. Please get

hold of yourself.

We see a line of passengers behind Sister Angelina waiting

to shake Mrs. Hammen.

EXT. AIRFIELD - SIGN - NIGHT

reads:
CHICAGO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

OVER 16 BILLION PLANES LANDED

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - NIGHT

As Kramer rushes through the lobby, he is approached by a

series of religious zealots. In quick succession he decks

each one karate style, shooting the last zealot twenty feet

away with a .44 Magnum.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - LONG SHOT - NIGHT

P.A. #1 (v.o.)

Your attention, please. Flight four-one-

seven now departing the B Concourse, gate

six.

P.A. #2 (v.o.)

Your attention, please. Flight twenty-

seven now arriving the B Concourse, gate

six.

There is a LOUD CRASH, and the SCENE SHAKES.

INT. CHICAGO DISPATCH - NIGHT

AIR CONTROLLER #1

(into phone)

This guy doing the flying has no airline

experience at all. He'll be a menace to

himself and everything else in the air...

(he pauses to listen)

...Yes, birds too.

Kramer enters, picks up clipboard, and reads it.

McCROSKEY

(into phone)

Okay, okay. He's a terrible risk, but what

other choice have we got?

McCroskey hangs up phone.

McCROSKEY

Well, that's the whole story, Rex,

everything we know.

KRAMER:

All right, Steve, let's face a few facts.

Kramer whips off his sunglasses. Underneath is another pair

of sunglasses.

KRAMER:

As you know, I flew with this man,

Striker, during the war. He'll have enough

on his mind without remembering those days

when -- well, when things weren't so good.

McCROSKEY

Well, right now things aren't so good. And

while we're talking there are a hundred

and thirty-eight lives waiting on us for a

decision.

KRAMER:

Let me tell you something, Steve. Striker

was a top-notch squadron leader -- a long

time ago...

A spear slams into the wall behind Kramer.

KRAMER:

...but my feeling is that when the going

gets rough upstairs tonight, Ted Striker's

gonna fold up.

McCROSKEY

Look, Rex -- I want you to get on the horn

and talk this guy down! You're going to

have to let him get the feel of this

airplane on the way; you'll have to talk

him onto the approach; and so help me,

you'll have to talk him right down to the

ground!

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