Alfie Page #6

I'd be scared to take a car out now.

I've got just the job for you,

all the fresh air you want.

Street photography. I do it myself.

Up at Tower Hill. Tons of tourists.

Chat the birds up easy.

They're asking for it.

Nothing to it.

"Hold it, lady. Little to the left."

"Three for 12 and a tanner."

I think these photographers

are a damn nuisance.

I'm sure he's a nice gentleman.

You can have it on your own.

You got film in that camera?

Are you loaded?

- Yeah.

- Good. Good morning to you.

Nice to see you, madam.

Come on, lady,

give us a great big smile.

- Here you are, sir.

- Not today.

- They won't bite.

- I don't want my photograph taken.

What about the young lady?

- Nor does she.

- How would you know that, sir?

What about it? One on your jack...?

On your own?

- Alright, I think I will.

- Vacationing?

- No.

- Immigrant?

- In a way.

- Married?

- Sometimes.

- Now?

No, not now. How do you want me?

Well, I've got two positions,

straight up or sideways,

depending on your nationality.

I'll have you against the ships.

Alright. I've always been partial

to the navy.

You look a real treat there, you do.

- Ruby, we've no time to waste here.

- It won't take a tick.

We've got a fast film in today.

Allow me, madam.

- He's getting a bit choked up.

- Well, don't let it worry you.

It doesn't worry me.

It doesn't seem to worry you, either.

- I never let any man worry me.

- I see what you mean.

Now, that's lovely. Can you hold it?

I'll do my best, young man.

- Put a jerk in it!

- I'll put a jerk in you. Hold it!

Lovely. That's a real beauty.

Now the close-up. Lick your lips.

Strewth!

Now, watch the dickie bird.

Now, what's your address?

And your telephone number.

That's three of each.

It'll be 15 shillings, sir.

- Haven't you got any change?

- No, I haven't!

- I'll have to look for some.

- Keep the bloody change!

Hello. How about a little souvenir?

You can have an enlargement

for four and six, sir.

"I've got just the job for you,"

Nat says. "Plenty of fresh air."

Know what?

I got the flu twice in six weeks.

So I went back to the hire-car lark.

With the Rolls there.

Oh, yeah.

It's very nice of you to come, Alfie.

Wasn't it, love?

Yes, it was.

If I'd known you were gonna be here,

I wouldn't have come.

I didn't mean that.

Course not.

She looks real tired.

Don't you think so, Alfie?

I'm alright.

Harry, you think about yourself,

or you'll never get out of here.

Yeah. Alfie, do you think you could

give her a lift home in your car?

Harry! Please! No!

It's a long way for her by train.

Yeah, I'll take her back.

It's a pleasure.

He'll take you back.

She didn't want to come

and I didn't want to take her.

We both agreed to please Harry.

Looks real ribby, though,

don't she?

To brighten her up,

I'm taking her a roundabout way.

Show her a bit of the scenery.

Well, you can only try, can't you?

How would you like

a nice cup of tea, girl?

I don't want to be any trouble.

That's alright.

One thing about driving a Rolls,

they're pleased to see you anywhere.

Know what?

When she smiles

that little smile of hers,

I'm quite touched by it.

Yeah. Now I look at her,

she ain't so ugly after all.

It must be hard on you, girl,

old Harry being away so long.

Still, I'll say this for him,

he could hardly wait for those

visiting days to come round.

Don't worry about him, Lily.

He'll be home soon.

Course he will.

Cheer up.

Well, what harm can it do?

Old Harry will never know.

And, even if he did,

he shouldn't begrudge me.

Nor her, come to that.

And it'll round off the tea nicely.

I don't know

what you must think of me.

I bet you ain't been with many blokes

besides Harry.

I haven't been with anyone.

- Where you going, love?

- London.

That's a big place for a little girl.

Come on, hop in.

Hello, Frank.

What do you want to eat?

I'm not hungry.

Just a cup of tea, please.

- You must eat something.

- No, thank you. Just tea with sugar.

- Wotcher, Alfie.

- How you doing?

You wanna watch your loading ropes,

Frank, they look a bit dodgy.

- Ta.

- What's the fancy dress for?

Got a Rolls outside, ain't I?

You're almost a stranger.

Why didn't you turn up?

Sorry, darling, I couldn't make it.

A small tea and a slice

of buttered toast, please.

You won't get far on cups of tea.

I'll be alright.

Who's the mystery?

That one, Frank brought in.

Watch it, Alfie, that's Frank's bird.

It's not my type, anyway.

I'll just go and check those ropes,

see they're alright. You OK?

Bit dead in here, though, isn't it?

I think I'll have a tune.

They ain't half got some old ones,

ain't they?

Yes.

- Did you come in with Frank?

- Yes. Why?

He's a good bloke, Frank.

A good mate.

Yes, he seems nice.

Yeah. He'd share

his last cigarette with you.

Very good-hearted is Frank.

You know what? He'll even share

his birds with his mates.

One bloke told me,

he'll even lend you his wife.

Like the Eskimos do.

I wouldn't fancy that.

Well, I mean, she's so bad-tempered.

I didn't think he was married.

Yes, he's got at least one wife.

Being a long-distance lorry driver,

he's away from home most nights.

Funny, some blokes, aren't they?

I wouldn't like sharing a girl,

would you?

- No!

- No.

- Where are you making for?

- Well, London.

- Any particular place?

- Not really.

I'd like to get a room and a job

if I could.

Here, I might be able to help you.

I know the personnel officer

of a big toffee factory.

A lovely little number.

- Could I see you in London?

- I could take you down there.

I've got a Rolls-Royce out there.

A radio, heater, the lot.

I should have to tell Frank, first.

You daren't risk that. He'll knock

your block off. Mine, too.

See that door there?

Well, 50 yards down the road

there's a telephone kiosk.

You wait for me there.

- I don't like doing that.

- Don't be frightened of me.

I ain't a wolf, you know.

Go on, before he comes back.

You don't want sharing, do you?

- No.

- Of course you don't.

Go on, away you go.

Would you tell the driver

I came in with that I've had to go?

I'll tell him.

- How much I owe you, Flo?

- One and a penny.

- You ain't going yet?

- I'm in a hurry all of a sudden.

What about your toast?

Give it to Frank.

He could do with a slice.

- See you.

- See you, Alfie.

Did you see the way he lapped it up?

- Can't see what they all see in him.

- Frank'll go raving mad.

Good.

Sit back and enjoy yourself, girl.

Do your folks at home

know where you're going?

- I haven't got any.

- There must be somebody?

I want to make a new start in London.

I reckon you've landed on your feet.

You'll have a great life with me.

It ain't come up too bad, has it?

All it needed was a good wash

and a bit of care and attention.

It's quite dainty.

You know what I mean?

Here, I no sooner take a pair

of socks off than it washes 'em.

And it can cook, too.

A bit limited on the menu.

It goes in for Lancashire hotpot

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