All American Bikini Car Wash Page #7

Yeah, that, too...

And the boobies.

Sorry about that.

It's cool, but I do have to

tell you something.

Okay, shoot.

What the hell, man!

I paid my debt!

I'm not here for your debt.

I quit Paulie's gang.

But I'm out of money, so

I'm here to take yours.

Where do you keep

the cash, b*tch?

Dude, we just made a deposit.

Bullshit!

Dude, why don't you just like

rob a gas station or something.

I know yous guys gots it

here somewhere!

We ain'ts gots no money, man.

Alright that's bullshit, and

don't make fun of my accent!

You should never quit a job

without a back-up plan.

This is my back-up plan!

Not a very good one.

Even a retail job will

be something.

Yeah, like a stock boy

or something.

Yeah. Except you do have

to work holidays.

True, and the customers are...

I'm not working f***ing retail!

They're just trying

to help, man.

You shut your mouth, dickbag!

Why didn't you yell at them

when they suggested retail?

It was your condescending tone,

you freaking dweeb!

I wasn't condescending!

Fine, they fired me.

Alright. Ya happy?

They said I was being

too temperamental.

Which is bullshit, I mean,

yeah, I like to kick sh*t

and blow things up every

once in a while.

But considering my upbringing,

I'm pretty f***ing low-key!

Low-key?

Alright, that's it.

Wait a second there mister!

B*tch, I will kick your ass!

You should work retail!

NOOOO!

Okay, enough!

Now, listen you spaghetti-loving

ass, this is Jack's business,

not yours. So the money he

makes is his, got it?

Got it...

No! Please don't slap me!

I swear to god I'ma leave

him alone! I promise I won't...

What the hell?

Man, that was close. Whoo...

My balls are on fire.

You were pretty good, Bobby.

It felt good. I thought maybe

the middle was bit much.

No, it was just right.

Hey, guys! Guys!

Wh-what's going on?

they hurt.

Bobby is in my theater class.

And this was my improv final.

It felt pretty good.

You get it all?

Yeah, got it.

I can actually taste the pain.

So, you're not a mobster guy?

Well, it got a little bit on the

side. I'd rather be an actor.

I'm trying to get out of the

mob biz. Big Tony though?

Woof... He's the real deal.

He scares me, honestly.

Well, you scared us.

Aw, thanks. It's a compliment.

Truly is.

Can I make it up to you though?

I feel terrible.

Honestly. Yeah, and your

balls dude...

Two things. Number one.

Get Paulie off of our ass.

I'll see what I can do. I can't

promise anything,

but some guys just did open a

strip club next to his bar,

so they're gonna want us to

offer some "protection."

Yeah, it could "explode".

You never know.

Yeah.

What's the second thing?

That was a pretty good

freakin' idea.

Exploiting both sexes?

Very smart.

It's just balance.

Like adding orange juice

to a lemonade stand.

Vex, suit up.

Yes, sir!

Hello!

-Hey!

-Hey.

You were pretty brave with

that mob guy.

You mean the part-time

mob guy student actor

playing a stereo-typical

mob guy?

You didn't know that

at the time.

It wasn't a big deal.

So, you and Amanda?

Yeah.

Would you ever have gone

out with me anyway?

Marvin, trust me, you don't

need the drama.

Besides, you guys make a

really cute couple.

Just, don't tell her any jokes.

Deal! And how about you?

My ex wanted to get back

together... I said "no thanks."

He's not my type.

And you're gonna be okay?

Yeah, I just need to be alone

for a while, you know.

Maybe like a day or two.

I'll figure out the rest.

So, how fast does

this thing go?

0 to 69

in ten seconds flat!

Sh*t...

Paint my ass.

Unbelievable.

Wait till his mother sees

this sh*t.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Made it into a god damn

dormitory!

Kelly! You can't do that! He's

an old guy, you could kill him.

I'm fine!

Jack, c'mon. Wait 'til you

see the tip I get!

Look, I know you're doing this

for your daughter and all,

but this is not how I want

my business to run.

Did you actually

believe me?

So you lied?

Come on, Jack, don't

be such a prude.

You need me shaking my ass

at the customers,

because that's what

makes them happy.

She's right!

Red alert, Jack!

Your Dad is here!

F***!

Jack!

There's no Jack

working here.

Never has been. Thank you,

come again.

Jack...

Dad!

Don't "Dad!" Me! What the

hell is going on?

This is the business?

It's just, ya know...

And I was at the house, too.

Hey. My car is still

very dirty.

One second, Dad.

We're gonna need another

bikini girl.

Kelly, you can flag cars.

But Jack...

It's either that or nothing.

I'll flag.

So how'd you know I was here?

Sh*t!

I can explain, Professor.

Please do.

I'm just trying to figure out

where to begin.

You lost your job, so instead

of finding something else

you had some students rent some

rooms to cover your rent.

Yeah, but I can get them to

leave if that's what you want.

But just so you know, they're

not just random students,

they're actually my friends.

Yo, Ferrari Guy is on the phone.

He wants another wash

and he's got all these buddies

at a Car Club.

They want a wash, too.

Talk about this later. Please.

So, am I getting a car wash

today?

Hallelujah!

Your housing situation, that's

one thing. But this?

How did you end up here?

You said you were doing well.

Dad. I failed my Business Final,

and I didn't do so well on a

couple of other projects.

Can I just say though, that the

chocolate-covered sausage

may not be for everyone, but

I thought it was inspired.

Thanks, Brit.

Jack, I gave you a chance. I did

it for your dad. And this?

This is what you did with it?

A bikini car wash?

I'm sure you can understand the

professor's concerns, Jack.

Yeah, he looks pretty pissed.

He is. This isn't what

I had in mind.

I analyzed your sales history

and this week we brought

in more money than your last

three months combined.

That's gotta count for

something.

Hey, I just gotta say.

This is easily

the best job I've ever had. I

usually wanna quit after like,

two minutes, but it's not

like that here.

Yeah, and I was able to pay

for classes

so I could continue

going to school.

And I got the best

car wash ever!

And I... got laid.

Which is a miracle, honestly,

but probably not the best time

for that announcement buddy.

Admittedly,

it does look like they

kicked up the sales a notch.

Sales are impressive, but using

bikinis and what not...

It's called marketing, sir.

Plus, I mean, you never said we

couldn't do it this way. Right?

Is that Bobby...?

Hey, Dildo Dave!

Bobby Bullets... Yeah,

he works here now.

And by the way, Jack was able

to stop the extortion

that was going on here from

those mob weirdos

that you somehow failed

to mention.

Imagine the headlines

if one of your students was

hurt because of that?

I didn't know they

were due this week.

Regardless, they wont be

bothering you any longer.

'Cause Jack handled it.

We handled it.

Considering none of us

knew anything about running

a car wash, I'd say we

kicked ass.

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