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All American Christmas Carol Page #6
A WHITE TRASH CHRISTMAS, AND I AM NOT HAVING THAT AGAIN
THIS YEAR. -OKAY, SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE
NOT GONNA HAVE THEM HERE? -I AM SAYING THAT, BOB. I AM SAYING THAT.
LOOK AT THIS. HUH? -UGH. -THAT IS A SYMBOL OF STATUS AND ACHIEVEMENT AND CLASS -- SOMETHING YOUR SISTER WILL NEVER
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT. AND IF SHE WAS SMART --
AND WE KNOW SHE'S NOT -- SHE WOULD TAKE THAT STUPID
HAMMERED GOLD RECORD AND SELL IT AND SIGN
THE BEAUTY SHOP OVER TO US. -"STUPID RECORD'S" UNCALLED FOR. -OKAY,
I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. -WHAT?! HONEY! WHAT?! -I'VE HAD IT. -WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! -LOOK, WE NEED YOU. BUT WE NEED 100% OF YOU. -YOU'VE GOT IT! -NO, WE DON'T. -BABY, PLEASE, DON'T --
-COME ON. -DON'T GO.
I'M -- I'M BEGGING YOU. -LOOKS LIKE HE LOVES HER TO ME. -[ SIGHS ]
THAT IS PATHETIC, BOB! -WE'RE GONNA GO STAY
WITH MY PARENTS FOR A WHILE. -IT'S CHRISTMAS. -THAT IS SO WRONG. SHE KNOWS HOW BAD BOBBY FELT WHEN OUR DADDY LEFT US
ON CHRISTMAS. -I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE! I WANT A CHRISTMAS HERE
WITH EVERYBODY! -HONEY, IT'S OKAY.
JUST COME. -I DON'T WANT TO GO!
[ SNIFFLES ] -WE'RE JUST GONNA GO
WITH GRANDMA AND GRANDPA FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND HAVE
CHRISTMAS OVER THERE. YOU GOT TO MAKE A CHOICE --
IT'S EITHER HER OR ME. [ DOOR CLOSES ] -SO, ARE WE DONE? -ALMOST. -WELL [CHUCKLES]
THERE AIN'T NOTHING HERE AT THE DOLLAR KING
THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT. -ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE SURE
ABOUT THAT, I'LL MAKE YOU A WAGER. -OH, YEAH?
AND WHAT DO I GET IF I WIN? -I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE. -HMM. AND WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU WIN, WHICH YOU WON'T,
BUT WHAT DO YOU GET? -YOU GET CLEANING SUPPLIES, AND YOU CLEAN UP
YOUR MOM'S OLD SALON. -THAT'S IT? JUST CLEAN UP HER SALON
AND NOT ACTUALLY WORK THERE? -THAT'S UP TO YOU. -DEAL. [ SPITS ] WELL, IF YOU DON'T SHAKE, THEN HOW ARE YOU GONNA KNOW
I'M NOT GONNA KEEP MY WORD? -I TRUST YOU WOULDN' BREAK YOUR WORD WITH THE ONE
AND ONLY CONSTANTINE. -YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
I PROBABLY WON'T. [ CHUCKLES ] SEE?
I KNEW HARLEY SKIPPED SCHOOL! [ SIGHS ] -MAYBE HE WAS LYING. -LYING?
HARLEY DON'T LIE TO ME. -TAKE A CLOSER LOOK
AND THINK REALLY HARD. -OKAY. -IT'S CHRISTMASTIME.
SCHOOL IS OUT. IT'S 9:00 P.M. AT NIGHT. -WOW.
YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. I WONDER WHY HARLEY WOULD HAVE
LIED ABOUT SKIPPING SCHOOL. -WELL, MAYBE... HE'S HIDING SOMETHING. -HUH. HARLEY HAS A SHIR WITH HIS NAME ON IT?! HE HAS A JOB! THAT LITTLE BASTARD. -LITERALLY.
-HEY. WHAT DOES HE NEED MONEY FOR? I MEAN, IF HE HAS A JOB,
THEN I SHOULD BE GETTING... -YOU SHOULD GE GETTING WHAT? -WELL, I SHOULD JUST KNOW
ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE'S MY SON, AND I SHOULD KNOW ABOU EVERYTHING THAT HE'S DOING. -MM-HMM. SO IF YOU KNEW
ABOUT THIS JOB... YOU WOULDN'T BUY
ALL THAT NEEDLESS CRAP ON HIS CREDIT ACCOUNT,
ASK HIM TO BRING HOME POP, CHEEZ WHIZ, AND LOTTO TICKETS? THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN? -[ SIGHS, TAPS FOOT ] -AH, CHAMP. THEY GOT YOU STACKING
TOILET PAPER. -MERRY CHRISTMAS, UNCLE BOB. AND I'M... [ SIGHS ] I'M SORRY
ABOUT TIM'S BLACK EYE. -OH, HE'LL BE FINE. I'M NOT TOO MERRY, THOUGH.
MARGE LEFT ME. -HOW COME? -OH, IT'S NOTHING.
SHE'LL BE BACK... I HOPE. ANYWAY, I'M HERE FOR YOU. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? -YEAH. THANKS FOR DOING THIS,
UNCLE BOB. I MEAN, THEY WOULDN'T SEND
THE BILL OUT TO A KID. -HEY, CHAMP,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. -UM, I KNOW, BUT...
I KIND OF HAVE TO. THI-- THIS IS LIKE
THE WHOLE CHECK. -YEAH.
LET ME TAKE -- -NO. NO, UNCLE BOB.
I... [ SIGHS ] I NEED
TO TAKE CARE OF US. -ALL RIGHT. YOU ENDORSE IT RIGHT HERE
AND SIGN IT RIGHT TO THE DWP. -WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHY
THE POWER DIDN'T GET TURNED OFF
LAST MONTH. [ CHUCKLES WEAKLY ] HEY. -I'M PROUD OF YOU, CHAMP. YOU'RE BECOMING
QUITE THE LITTLE MAN. UH, I-I MEAN BIG MAN. -THANKS, UNCLE BOB. -ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. -SO THAT HOW THE ELECTRIC BILL
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? -I WAS JUST HERE.
I WAS SHOPPING AROUND. SO WHY'D YOU --
UH...WHY'D YOU GET A JOB? [ CHUCKLES ] -I MEAN, THE BILLS
HAD TO GET PAID SOMEHOW. -WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. -WELL, WHAT'S GOOD
HAVING A BIG-SCREEN TV IF YOU CAN'T WATCH IT? -COME HERE. [ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT. I'M -- UH, I HAVE TO GO NOW,
SO [SIGHS] -PHEW. I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND
THAT MAYBE YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT SOMEBODY
OTHER THAN YOURSELF. -WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MAMA? -[ SCOFFS ] I MADE A PROMISE TO SOMEONE
THAT I-I WANT TO KEEP. -WHAT ABOUT YOUR PROMISES
TO YOUR KIDS? -I INTEND TO KEEP THOSE, TOO. -HAVE A GOOD TIME. COME ON, BUD. -[ SCOFFS ] WHATEVER. [ SIGHS ] -BOO!
-[ GASPS ] -BABY, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU. -WAYNE, I DON'T HAVE TIME
RIGHT NOW. -COME ON!
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS! -WHAT?
OH, YOU GOT A MINIVAN? SO WHAT? -NO, THAT'S NOT THE SURPRISE. OH, BOY, DO I HAVE
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR YOU. WAIT -- HOW'D YOU KNOW
I GOT A MINIVAN? -WHAT? -HOW'D YOU KNOW I GOT --
NEVER MIND. COME ON. I WANT YOU TO SEE YOUR PRESENT. -[ SCOFFS ] OKAY. -COME ON. JUST KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED. -THEY'RE CLOSED. -NO PEEKING. TURN. [ Chuckling ] YOU READY? -YEAH. -TA-DA! -MERRY CHRISTMAS! -OH, MY -- [ LAUGHS ] WOW! WAYNE! THIS IS MINE?
I OWN THIS? -ALL YOURS. -I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN
ANYTHING THIS NICE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, WAYNE. -SO THEN...YOU LIKE IT? 'CAUSE THE GUY I GOT IT FROM
SAID IT'S IN GREAT CONDITION. -MATSUI, YOUR FAVORITE CO-- -PLEASE STOP TALKING.
I JUST NEED A MINUTE. AHH. OH, YEAH. THIS IS MY HELMET? -THAT'S YOUR HELMET.
PUT IT ON, BABY. IT MATCHES THE BIKE.
[ CHUCKLES ] [ SIGHS ] HOW'D YOU AFFORD THIS? -DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT'S A GIFT. -IS IT FROM YOUR COLLEGE FUND? -I WAS BORN IN A TRAILER PARK, I WAS RAISED
IN A TRAILER PARK, I'M ASSISTANT MANAGER
OF THE DOLLAR KING, AND MY WOMAN IS CINDY WEGMAN. -WHAT? -THAT'S WHO I AM, BABY. -AS LONG AS YOU'RE SURE. -WELL...YOU SEE, BABY... MEETING YOU BROUGHT SO MUCH
JOY IN MY LIFE AND -- [ ENGINE TURNS OVER, REVS ] [ Shouting ] AND I DON'T WAN THAT JOY TO END, SO I WAS THINKING, MAYBE
YOU'D DO ME THE HONOR OF... [ ENGINE REVVING ] -WHOO! [ LAUGHS ] [ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ] -YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. -WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE? -WHAT? YOU DITCH WAYNE
FOR A RICH GUY OR SOMETHING? -NOPE.
WAYNE BOUGHT IT FOR ME. -WHERE DID WAYNE
GET THAT KIND OF CASH? -WORKING. I KNOW. GO FIGURE. -HUH. SCOOCH OVER. I DON'T RIDE BACK DOOR. -COMPROMISE? -COME HERE. OHH. -[ CHUCKLES ] [ GRUNTS ] [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] [ SQUEALS ] -WHEN DO WE GET OUR PRESENTS? -YOUR BUTT'S YOUR PRESENT. -YOUR MOM'S BUTT'S
YOUR PRESENT. -YOUR MOM'S BUTT'S BOTH OF
OUR MOM'S BUTT, SO SHUT UP. -GUYS, CAN WE MAKE THIS
CHRISTMAS NOT BE ABOUT BUTTS? -WELL, MY BUTT'S OUT OF HERE --
NO PRESENTS, NO BRANDIE. -HEY!
YOU SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN! DOWN. WE'RE HAVING CHRISTMAS TOGETHER
IF IT KILLS US. -WHEN'S MAMA COMING HOME? -IT'S CHRISTMAS, BUDDY.
SHE'LL BE HERE. -YEAH, BUD. DON'T WORRY. -I ALWAYS WONDERED
WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE ON A BRAND-NEW HARLEY
UNDER A BEAUTIFUL TREE. [ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ] -NO. KEEP IT ON. -SAY WE LOSE THESE
FOR A COUPLE HOURS, HUH? -OH, MY GOD. -WHAT? -[ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD. GET OFF.
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"All American Christmas Carol" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/all_american_christmas_carol_2487>.
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