All Out Dysfunktion! Page #5

I'll tell clarelle.

Okay, fine.

That's fine.

Mm, good.

I'm going to need you

to text me two photographs

of your friends,

and we meet here tonight.

Oh, yeah, one more thing.

I'm going to need a deposit.

I don't have any f***ing money.

Hmm.

That's a down payment,

p*ssy cat.

Okay, ew, get the f***

off me and leave.

Where did you get that?

Hmm, my resources

are none of your concern.

But I encourage you

to please keep listening.

I'll f***ing give you half.

F*** you, all right?

I have been in this f***in' town

for four f***ing years...

- How do you even...

- The most degrading sh*t...

Who the f*** are you?

- Seriously?

- Shh.

Snow bunny, hmm?

A couple of hundred

and we meet here tonight.

- You motherfuck...

- please hand over a deposit.

And it will be

100% refundable once we...

Can't f***ing believe this.

Stop.

You're so creamy.

I'm sure you're filled

with juicy goodness.

Oh, if I licked you

from the outside in,

I'm sure you would taste

like j-e-l-l-o.

Okay, gross.

Come on.

Oh, yes.

I like it.

I've been a naughty schoolboy.

Spank me.

Oh, my god.

You are a f***ing pervert.

You are truly disgusting.

Where do you think

you're going, b*tch?

Excuse me, aunt jemima.

Aunt jemima.

That's cute.

- You like that?

- Was this before or after

she took off the rag?

I don't know, b*tch.

You got a weave.

- Don't touch me.

Well, now that I know

what you up to,

that little cute designer purse

is mine.

- Oh, this one?

- Yeah.

- F*** you, b*tch. -Who you

callin' a b*tch, b*tch?

Phula.

Yeah, you better have my back,

motherf***er.

Now, listen to me, b*tch.

Hold that b*tch.

This little

f***ing designer purse,

like I said, and everything

in it is mine, all right?

And if you want

your little fiesta

to go off without a hitch,

these are

my motherfuckin' terms.

Now tap out, b*tch,

and let me know you good.

Squeeze her.

Tap out, b*tch!

F*** you.

Hey, let her go.

She's dying.

Oh, no, I been choked by a lot

of niggas with big d*cks.

Trust me, I know

what a b*tch can take.

Tap out, b*tch.

Give me the f***ing purse.

- Oh.

- You good?

See you later.

Ah, do you know

there are 612 seconds

in exactly 10.2 minutes

and I have been out here

for 645, 646.

Do you have any idea what that kind

of heat does to the immune system?

My mom just died.

Oh, f***.

Yeah, she was my best friend.

Look, I'm sorry

if I came on too strong, okay?

I can totally relate.

My mom passed away

right after I finished school.

Right after the funeral, i had

to get the hell out of New York.

I feel completely lost,

i mean, f***, Carrie,

I don't even have

a f***ing agent.

Well, maybe today's

your lucky day.

I really need to get myself

out of this headspace

that I'm in,

so I thought I'd throw

a party here tonight.

And, you know,

there's gonna be some really

- important people there.

- And I'm sure clarelle

is just happy about that.

Yeah, she's gonna go out

for the night.

Look, clarelle and i

are really tight, okay?

Tighter than you two are,

so, you know,

she totally trusts me.

If you don't go

and be a whiny little b*tch

and cry to clarelle

about the party,

maybe I'll introduce you

to Vinnie tonight.

- He's an agent.

- Don't touch me.

'Cause god only knows

what kind of mold

and parasites

live between your legs

- and all over your body.

- Just shut up, all right?

This is gonna open up some

really big doors for you.

Look, Vinnie is a huge agent,

all right?

And, besides,

Hollywood is always looking

for their next up-and-coming

colored talent.

"Colored," really?

That's so bigot of you.

- F*** off.

- Oh, come on.

This is gonna be

a big deal for you.

Yeah? And why the f***

should I believe you?

- Why would I lie to you? -Because

you're a f***ing manipulating,

conniving little b*tch.

What are you so afraid of, hmm?

Making a deal with the devil,

that's who.

Pinky swear?

I wouldn't trust

that pinkie if it was mine.

Fool me once,

but it won't happen again.

And the only way

i get out of this house

is by booking jobs.

So, if your buddy shows up

and everything goes

exactly the way

you tell me it will,

I will owe you for life.

But if anything goes south,

don't ever look

in my f***ing direction

ever again.

Deal.

Now leave.

- Bye.

- C*nt.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, thank you.

Hey.

Hey, I gotta pee.

I just want to talk to you

in private, okay?

Now, tell me.

What the f*** were you doing

making business deals

with that b*tch Carrie, huh?

You trying to make

mommy jealous?

- Here, take a shot.

- No, I prefer not to.

Shut up.

Just take it. Open up.

Burns, right?

Feels good, right?

Hmm?

- Listen.

- What?

Listen.

I... I want to know

why you cry.

Oh, that's not important

right now.

No, no, no.

Because people don't cry

when they...

Oh, I get it.

You want to get personal.

I'll show you f***ing personal.

How's this for personal, huh?

- That personal enough?

- People will see.

I don't give a f*** who sees.

Look at me.

Look at me, ranjit.

- Look at me.

- Okay, okay.

Look at me, okay?

Focus.

Okay.

Yeah, right?

Oh, you want this thick

caramel p*ssy, huh?

- Yeah.

- Huh?

- I...

- you what?

- I want it.

- You do?

I want the caramel

and the thickness

- in the p*ssy.

- Oh, yeah.

- I want it. -You're gonna give

me this curry stick, huh?

Hmm?

Ooh, you're getting hard.

I like that.

I'm going to give it to you.

You're gonna give it to me?

Tell me how. Tell me how.

Give it to you like

I'm gonna put it inside you.

Then what you gonna do?

Tell me.

You gonna f*** me

the way the niggas do, huh?

- Yeah.

- Hmm?

- I'm gonna...

- what? Tell me, tell me.

- I'm going to, like...

- like a what?

- Like...

- like a what?

- Like a big...

- Big what?

- black...

- Black what?

- Donkey.

- Ooh, a donkey.

Mm, I want to see

that f***ing donkey.

Yes!

Okay.

Ah, okay, nice.

Ooh, frisky.

Let's go on the bed.

- The bed.

- Okay, okay.

The bed. Okay.

No, the bed.

Enter now,

my world of mysticism.

Do you want your p*ssy

to be scratched like a tiger?

Shh.

Oh.

Oh, my dreams.

Ass to be ripped

by a big black cock?

Bite it.

Bite it, my phula.

Have you ever f***ed

your mother?

Yeah, nigga, that's what

I'm talking about.

Have you ever

f***ed her in the ass

and make her eat her own sh*t

by blowing your f***ing cock?

Whoo.

Okay, that's new.

Whoo, frisky.

Just put it in, motherf***er.

Do you want to suck my cock?

- Yes.

- Okay, okay.

We're gonna put it in.

No, no.

Motherf***er, put it in.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

- Yes!

- Yes! Yes!

- Yes!

- Yes!

Oh, here we go.

Here we go.

- What?

- I'm ready to shoot!

I know you ain't just pumped

three times

and skeet, motherf***er.

Paradise, my love.

You gonna finally get me up here

and you gonna pump twice

and skeet inside of me

- and not let me know?

- Three times, my love.

I ain't your love, motehrfucker.

I even called you "nigga."

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