Almost Married Page #5

Synopsis: When Kyle returns from his stag-do with a sexually transmitted disease, he's left unable to have sex with his fiancée Lydia in the run-up to their wedding.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Ben Cookson
Production: Liquid Noise Films
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
4.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
14%
TV-MA
Year:
2014
97 min
89 Views


No, anywhere but the head.

- Then on your back.

- Yes

Kyle "Back of ass"..

Listen, I'll wait in the other room.

And when you hear...

I'll call...

Do you really want to?

Have to.

Must be another way.

There is not.

Lydia only knew how much you loved her.

Better not put this in your speech.

I do not wear it.

I do not wear it.

Kyle! Wait, wait!

It occurred to me something good!

Check this out! We can not make

exams before the wedding,

because 10 weeks is not enough.

What if we look at it?

To whom?

A sex worker with whom you

had unprotected intercourse.

Stop describe it well.

No, if examined and cleaned out,

means that you are clean.

Do not be a contamination

AIDS from someone who does not.

Look at me.

Look

back to the brothel,

find the carrier,

and we do an AIDS test.

How do we find the place?

Asking.

To whom?

Tourist Information

do not guide to brothels.

We cross our path.

Easier said than I do.

We had a few drinks in the hotel bar.

Aha.

Then we went to a pub.

A cheap place.

A few more drinks.

I know.

We went to the Internet and look

massage parlors in Newcastle.

We search Google.

That will be a big hassle.

"Newcastle brothel".

No!

I did wrong.

Massage.

That's it.

El Santuario... Bubbles...

"Foxy Break Knights".

I like it as it sounds.

- It will take an eternity.

- We can not, take a virtual tour...

from brothels.

Watch"

Visit our oasis of mad passion."

Lower your voice!

Experienced ladies that will

fulfill all your cravings.

Shut up!

Look at the photos.

Was she blonde or brunette?

It was not blonde.

What do you remember accurately?

Was pretty... Robusta.

- Gorda.

- No, like... voluptuous.

Gorda.

- I think he had a tattoo.

- A big tattoo.

Here.

We have two blondes, too skinny.

We write down the address and explored.

Do you have a pen?

Not Here in the van.

It's okay.

Where is the printer?

You can not print that!

Someone is printing?

You a complete idiot!

Someone is printing?

Then say something.

- I have someone document.

- Say something, damn it!

Is printing a document.

- Is someone?

- Yes!

Pajero.

Are two sailing

pounds and 25 per page.

Are one, two...

2.50, here. My change...

They closed at Foxy's about 3 months ago.

- All right.

- This is better. - Yes

Thanks..

- What is Sanctuary?

- Jarvis!

- This is The Sanctuary.

- Maybe it's cute inside.

- Then I'll tell you.

- What do you mean?

- I'm not going with you?

- Not required.

No... It's for your safety.

You will not go alone.

No. 5 for Sanctuary.

Do you have a reservation?

No, no reserve.

- Sue?

- Yes

Not have reservation.

Does not matter, let them in

Thanks.

All right, guys?

Had they come earlier?

Perhaps yes.

Sit.

Do you want a drink while you wait?

- No thanks.

- I'd kill for a cup of tea.

Somebody turn on the kettle!

Girls come soon.

- Are you sure it was not her?

- No.

- Hi, my name is Magali.

- Hello, Magali.

- My name is Victoria.

- Victoria.

Hi, my name is Aura.

Aura.

Do you see something you like?

Put out that cigarette!

We operate in a smoke free environment.

I see.

For which decided?

Gives us a minute?

To confer.

Private.

Come on, girls.

- This is not the place.

- What are you talking about?

You could smoke.

I remember.

Well, elimination.

We progressed a little.

We progressed,

but what the hell do we do now?

- What are you talking about?

- How do we get out?

Not believe that suddenly

do not want sex.

Say that the van is parked wrong.

No

They let you out at the same time.

I will say that I forgot my wallet.

What about me?

- I see.

- What?

I get it.

- I get it.

- What are you complaining about?

No, okay.

Do not worry.

No, if necessary,

I sacrifice for both.

Okay, guys.

Have you already decided?

All are beautiful and...

I'm going with the No. 1

Magali, Magalin,

Mogli, Magli, how is it?

And for your friend?

No, no.

He is only going to pay.

You can take my tea.

Magali!

Hello, Magali.

Where

bought the painting of cats?

Thank you very much.

A mint?

The things I do for you.

- No need to thank me.

- It cost me 80 pounds.

If not for me, both be there.

Ah!

How noble of you.

You sacrificed, right?

- Only talk.

- Yes? Lie!

Speak.

No payment for the passes you talking...

each establishment we visit.

Are not you glad that only one visit is?

What?

Magali told me...

there is only one open late brothel...

- Hungry boyfriends for sex.

- What?

Want to know?

Do not be silly.

Apologize.

- I'm sorry.

- Why?

- I dunno.

- Why use me?

Do you have any idea how dirty I feel?

You said you just spoke.

And it was.

- Turn off the light.

- Okay.

This way, gentlemen.

You!

Make sure your friend does not vomit.

Do not worry.

- Anything to drink?

- Beer, please.

Do you mind if I smoke?

As long as it's not crack.

Is here.

This is the place!

Are you sure it was not her?

Fantastic.

Hi. I'm Miranda.

Miranda.

Hi. My name is Roxy.

Roxy.

Hello dolls.

I'm Crystal.

Yes sure.

Good night.

My name is Monica.

Can not be.

Not any of them.

Would you sacrifice me again?

- Want to take another look?

- No, not any of them.

Has to be more.

Maybe he's on vacation.

O is sick.

In particular, if you have...

Sorry, pal.

You walk alone?

My partner is up losing virginity.

Great.

Hello dolls.

Have you already decided?

Can we wait for

the one with your friend?

Fairness.

It's okay.

Melanie, honey!

Hasten the ass, will you?

- Well, gentlemen, I'm Melanie.

- Melanie.

A second.

Can I see you back, please?

I think I've seen.

Really?

Been here a few weeks ago.

- Do you remember me?

- I do not remember them all, but...

You're hard to forget.

Can we...

go upstairs?

If necessary.

60 per half hour, 100 for one. Use

uniforms, make characters,

is extra.

I think it will only take me half an hour.

I will below. When I return, I love you

naked and in bed.

The bathrooms are down the hall.

- I satisfy the desire of patience.

- Yes, I know...

Maybe we can just...

Talk?

You look nervous.

Let me give you a massage.

Can I put me jeans?

Why?

If the pants are dirty...

No, of course not!

Believe me, I've seen around here.

- No, they are clean, I swear.

- Let me see. Let me see!

Well, now lie.

Try to relax.

- Not here to give me a massage.

- It is to get fit.

- I did not mean that.

- Try to relax!

The number of knots is not normal.

I'm a little stressed.

Back?

For a final display?

I'm getting married.

Congratulations.

Well,

want to marry,

I can not.

Why not?

Because I'm sick.

You're not sick.

Just male needs.

I am sick.

I'm dying.

Well,

maybe I'm dying.

Can you do a review of AIDS

please?

When I was here I was

infected with chlamydia.

I thought if you were taking and returning

examination,

could have sex again with my fiancee

,

And save my wedding!

Breathe.

I retract,

I have not seen everything.

For starters, I do not have chlamydia.

They call

silent disease and symptoms can be latent.

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Ben Cookson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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