Amazon Women on the Moon Page #6

---

to make myself visible again.

But what's the rush?

I'm having a ball.

Watch me closely.

Whee!

Ever see a shirt make a phone call?

[ Chuckles ]

Ooh.

Pretty scary, huh?

Ooooh!

Wait till you see this.

- [ Chuckles ]

- Uh, no. Griffin...

- you don't have to go all the way.

- [ Laughing ]

Yes.

[ Laughing ]

Just listen for

the sound of my voice...

and you'll know where I am at all times.

[ Chuckles ]

- Come on. Let's have some laughs!

- Griffin!

- Being invisible is the best! [ Laughing ]

- [ Stride Piano, Distant ]

[ Continues, Louder ]

Hey! Here comes

the invisible man again.

[ Bar Patrons Groaning,

Objecting ]

You, go and get some help.

I'll watch him here.

Whee-ooh!

Whee-ooh!

Oh, my. Now how did that happen?

Must be a ghost in 'ere.

This is unreal.

I'm terribly sorry.

Whee-ooh! Whee-ooh!

[ Imitates Tyres Skidding ]

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

- Wow! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- [ Policeman's Whistle Tweeting,

Distant ]

- [ Scattered Applause ]

- [ Door Opens ]

- Now, now, now. What's all this?

- Here he is, Officer.

Take it easy with him.

He's not really dangerous.

Come along quietly then, guv.

- You'll have to find me first.

- [ Groans ]

Come along.

Let's cover this one up.

Come on.

Wait. I'm invisible.

Don't touch me there.

- [ Griffin Laughing ]

- [ Wolf Whistle ]

Selma!

[ Man ] We now return to our feature...

starring Greta Van Zandt and Lyle Talbot.

There will be no further interruptions.

This looks like the remains

of some ancient culture.

Steve, I said some things back there

that I shouldn't have.

Anyway, thanks for saving me

from that dinosaur.

- Forget it.

- Hey, would you get a load of this joint?

This throne is still warm.

- [ Theremin Wailing ]

- [ Screeching, Chittering ]

Where are you going?

I forgot somethin'

back on the ship.

- What?

- [ Garbled ] I forgot to stay there.

[ Soundtrack

Skipping, Crackling ]

[ Man ] We are experiencing

technical difficulties. Please stand by.

We are experiencing techn--

I demand that you set us free,

Queen Lara.

We are on an official mission

from the planet Earth.

Ha! ''Planet Earth.''

Is that what you call that pitiful ball

hanging in the sky?

You wouldn't say that if you saw

Jane Russell or the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Silence, swine...

or you will suffer the same fate

as your friend.

I intend to file a protest

in the death of Blackie!

He dared to enter the sacred temple

and steal the precious moonstones.

But feeding him to giant spiders

without the benefit of counsel...

is not the way we do things

in America.

[ Women Laughing ]

Boy, I never thought

I'd be so miserable...

surrounded by

beautiful dames.

Cut the gags, Butch.

We're in enough trouble.

What's she lookin' at?

She acts like she's never seen a man before.

She hasn't.

Have you, Alpha Beta?

No, my queen.

What are men good for?

Well, I'm pretty good

in the back seat of a Studebaker.

Butch!

- Men are useless.

- Back where I come from...

no woman is complete

without a man.

You see,

Commander Nelson...

1 2,000 gamma-spans ago--

- ''Gamma-spans''?

- A moon unit of time...

roughly equivalent

to your Earth year.

Anyway, all men were banished from

the lunar surface because they couldn't--

For 1 31 years...

this great institution

has amassed...

what many consider to be the finest

collection of art anywhere in the world.

And now it can all be yours.

We've lost our lease!

That's right.

Everything must go.

From the old masters of Europe

to the conceptual artists of today's SoHo.

We're talking Rembrandts, Botticellis...

Gauguin, Cezanne, Matisse, Renoir...

and the chairman of the board...

Leonardo da Vinci.

This Egyptian sarcophagus...

from the dynasty of Ramses II,

appraised at $ 1 4 million.

Our price? 1 9.95.

Buy now, and we'll toss in,

free of charge...

the original

Declaration of Independence.

Now you might expect to pay

millions for this document...

that shaped a great nation.

But it's yours free. This fine parchment

will enhance any den or playroom.

And you can have some fun

with your friends...

by adding your own name

along with the original signers.

Remember,

the Cosmopolitan Museum of Art.

Every Van Gogh must go.

Hello, I'm Henry Silva.

Ever since the ocean liner Titanic sunk

on her maiden voyage in 1 91 2...

people have asked,

''How did it happen?''

- [ Man Imitating Ship Whistle ]

- Join me...

- as we dramatically recreate...

- [ Man ] Nearer

- the sinking of

the great ocean liner Titanic.

- My God, to thee

Bullshit or not?

You be the judge, here on this station.

[ Announcer ] From the pen

of America's wealthiest author...

- Irving Sidney, the man who gave us...

- [ Rapping ]

- the best sellers,

Irving Sidney's The Naked Virgin...

- [ Rapping Continues ]

and Irving Sidney's

The Power and the Flesh...

comes Irving Sidney's

sizzling new blockbuster--

Hey, baby.

[ Laughs ]

Long time no see, huh?

- There must be some mistake.

- Come on. Who are ya kiddin'?

It's me.

It's Bert.

Look, I'm in town with

the textile convention...

and I thought maybe we could, uh,

you know, party! [ Laughing ]

- I don't do that any more.

- Oh--

- You better get out of here

before you wake the president.

- [ Snoring ]

[ Announcer ]

When President Harrison Chandler

was married in the White House...

it was the social event

of the decade.

The courageous president...

and his beautiful new bride.

But she possessed a secret

that could shatter her dreams...

and topple a government.

I'll meet you in the Lincoln Room

in five minutes.

[ Announcer ]

She was forced to live a lie...

when her sins

came back to haunt her.

She was

''first lady of the evening. ''

Irving Sidney's 1 st Lady of the Evening.

A Magnet paperback

in easy-to-read type with no big words.

[ Simmons On Radio ]

Birds suddenly appear

- Every time

- [ Sighs ]

Look, Violet, what do you say we go

park out by the lake?

My glands are out of control.

Well, okay, Georgie,

but are you prepared?

I've been preparing myself for 1 7 years.

That's not what I meant.

- Fall down from the sky

- Pull over to that drugstore.

- [ Engine Stops ]

- [ Emergency Brake Sets ]

On the day that you were born

the angels got together

- And decided to create

a dream come true

- Georgie.

So they sprinkled

moon dust in your hair

- And golden starlight

- Make sure you ask for Titans.

Those are the best.

- [ No Audible Dialogue ]

- That is why all the boys

[ Bell Dings ]

Hello, George.

How are ya?

Uh, hi, Mr Gower.

I-I didn't think you worked nights.

My night man took sick.

What can I do for you?

We're having a sale

on shaving cre--

- What am I saying? You're

not old enough to shave yet.

- I've been shaving since March.

- See?

- Hey, I'd better call your mom

right now and thank her...

for the preserves she brought over

to our house--

Not now! I mean--

I-I mean, don't bother.

- I'll give her the message for you.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes