American High School Page #6

- Does she give oral yet?

I do.

Hey, let's give it up again

for Kip Dick!

Awesome!

Gwen:
By setting up Miss Apple, I was

killing three birds with one stone:

...helping Mann get his job back...

...getting a little retribution

for Seuss...

...not to mention

teaching my dad a lesson.

This was supposed to

be done hours ago.

Goddamn Alice.

Last time I was in

a boys' locker room...

- Oh, yeah, the gang-bang.

- We remember.

You guys, we gotta hurry.

Great plan, Mann...

nowhere to hide.

Shh!

Everyone hide!

Hey, I bet they're doing it

right now.

- Thank you.

- That means they're gonna have sex.

Hide!

Whoo! Oh!

Apple?

I got what you want.

Ah, there you are.

Come to Papa.

You make me feel like a princess.

Well, good.

Note to princess:

...lose the skirt.

I had no idea you were into

these smelly jockstraps...

...but whatever works

for you, baby.

Yeah.

Oh, baby.

You've been a bad girl.

You've been a bad girl!

Miss Apple:

Ooh, yes, spank me.

- Ooh!

- Pull my hair!

- Yeah!

- Oh!

I'm gonna ride you into

the sunset, baby. Whooo!

Oh oh, yes!

Oh, yes! Ooh!

Oh yeah, oh yeah!

Oh, pull my hair.

Spank my ass!

Yes. Oh, yes.

Kip:
You gotta spank me too, baby.

Ooh, I love that.

I love that.

Spank me again.

Oh, yes yes yes yes yes!

Oh, yeah, baby!

Whooo-aaaaah!

Candi:
Kip, you were supposed to

meet my parents today!

Hey, what are you... Oh!

Oh, bag shot! Oh!

God, oh, Jeez!

God, someone's p*ssy smells.

Get off me!

God! God!

- Jesus.

- Kip...

I asked you if there was anyone else

and you said no.

I don't like it when

men lie to me.

Well, honey...

...are we cool now?

Yeah, we're cool.

Franklin's gonna buy Candi

and I dinner tonight...

...while we talk about

what a dick you are.

And after that, we're gonna have hot

lesbian sex in my hot tub.

- Can I watch?

- I don't think so, Kip. We're done.

But I love Candi and Apples.

Wait, I got a KD Lang CD.

I'll drive.

Halt. Hey, Gwen,

how you doin'?

Awesome.

Listen, you know...

...with everything that's going on...

you know...

- Your man's out mingling with...

- Husband.

...every other... whatever.

Point of the matter is...

I got to thinking and I thought,

you know...

- Maybe me and you should go.

- Where?

Prom.

- Ha! Duh!

- You're asking me to prom?

We could. Yeah.

- No.

- Uh, no? Ha! That's my answer to you.

'Cause I'm not gonna go to prom

with you. You're pretty horrible.

Mann:
Attention, munchkin turds...

Miss Apple has a few

recorded words for you...

Yes, spank me!

Pull my hair.

Mann:
Now with that being said...

Miss Apple,

I'm really gonna miss you.

Principal Mann?

Hold on, Alice.

Go ahead, Gwenn.

- We make a great team.

- Thanks, Gwen.

I couldn't have got the school

back without you.

Aww!

Looks like we won't

be seeing you next year.

Thank God.

First I need a date...

...but there's only two viable options:

Jonny or Matt.

Jonny...

Matt.

Ech!

Jonny, Matt.

Jonny.

Matt.

Jonny, Matt.

Jonny, Matt... Matt, Jonny.

Jonny, Matt. Matt Matt Matt.

Jonny, Matt.

Jonny, Jonny... Jonny, Jonny.

Jonny.

Hey, Jonny.

Imitating Chinese voice:

How are you? You still cry?

I'm not crying.

Oh, you wanna go

prom with Jonny?

- You want...

- Yeah, let's do prom.

He give you fruity wooty...

...which is Chinese for

"f*** your brain out"!

And now I need

the perfect outfit.

#Whoa-oh whoa-oh #

#Whoa-oh whoa-oh #

#Another Friday night,

I'm waiting by the phone #

#You're hanging with your friends... #

No?

#I'm better off alone #

#Yeah, we had plans tonight,

they must have slipped your mind #

#And you think I'd go... #

I wonder where Holden is.

Nope. Over it!

#But boy, I've been feeling this way #

#So long,

you should have seen me #

#Climb on #

#It's all your fault,

I'm running out of reasons #

#I'm not leaving,

I'm already gone #

#So long #

#Whoa-oh whoa-oh #

#By tomorrow night,

I'll be having fun #

#'Cause I got lots of friends

who never liked you none #

#Don't try to call me now,

I know your talk is cheap #

#And all I have to say is

leave a message at the beep #

#If I were you,

I wouldn't wait or bleed #

#'Cause boy, you're gonna

have to wait #

#So long #

#You should have seen me

climb on #

#It's all your fault,

I'm running out of reasons #

#I'm not leaving,

I'm already gone #

#So goodbye, good luck to you #

#You can't hurt me anymore!

I'm so far over you #

#Already out the door... #

So Hilary might have

a larger booty...

...but I have brains.

- Oh, yeah!

- It's me!

- I'm so excited! It's prom! It's prom!

- Whooo!

Goin' to prom!

Yeah!

Aren't you gonna close the door?

Oh.

You're welcome.

I'm just messing with you.

You look... Good.

What's with the Sith Lord thing?

Whoo, it's Gwen Adams!

I'm just kidding.

Wanna make out?

Not yet. Let's wait.

What's with the cheetah bra?

Raar! I just want to bite

into those breasts.

Aren't you excited?

Prom!

- Is that my boy Jonny?

- Kip Dick!

Love the vest.

My God, you look hot.

- Ooh, big night tonight.

- Yeah!

- Ha!

- Errrr!

Yoink. Mr. Dick!

Whoo! What's up, man?

Let's do it.

Come on.

- Yes!

- Wait, don't forget me.

Yeah.

Prom rules!

Whoo! Well, come on, honey.

We gotta get there.

- Get inside.

- Gonna be awesome.

Ah, yes!

- Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah.

You know, if you need a little

road head, I won't be in the way.

Come on, baby.

Prom night.

Hey!

What the f***?

F***in' cocksuckers.

I wanted to go to prom.

#Everyone is always on the go #

#Gotta get to school

or my mom will know #

#Barely made the bus,

you know I'm late to class#

#If I don't get there in time,

she's gonna kick my ass #

#Yeah, it's a good social program #

#Where all the kids can

go uptown #

#Yeah, it's a new way

to know that #

#Everything's okay #

#Barely made the bus,

you know I'm late to class#

#If I don't get there on time,

she's gonna kick my ass #

#Yeah, it's a good

social program #

#Where all the kids

can go uptown #

#Yeah, it's a new way

to know that #

#Everything's okay #

#Ooh, it doesn't

get much better #

#Never thought I'd ever

play the fool #

#Everything I need's in

my American high school #

#Oh, Lord, it doesn't

get much better #

#Never thought I'd ever

play the fool #

#Everything I need... #

Hell of a party, huh?

Doogie, what are you

doing here?

Me? I'm on call.

Any of the girls drink too much,

I'm gonna give them a breathalyzer.

I brought something

for them to blow on.

Listen, I see kids like you

all the time...

...you don't know if

you're coming or going.

I know I haven't come in a long time.

I just went... I'd gone.

But you don't know if

you're coming or going.

You need to have more confidence.

You need to, you know...

- I know.

- ...Take a risk, you know?

Whoa, wait a minute.

I see your guy dancing

with another girl.

Yeah, you know why he's with

that lady blonde?

- Why?

- I'll tell you why.

There's a lot of reasons.

One of them come to mind:

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